Calvin and Hobbes: The Series SEASON FIVE
by Swing123
Summary: current episode: NOCTURNALS P6 Dr Brainstorm and Calvin begin monitoring a strange energy signature that is approaching their universe from within the void
1. Alien Nation P1

**Alien Nation**_  
_

It was an average day at the Socrates mansion.

The red tailed tiger woke up at his usual hour of four in the morning, and proceeded with his routine morning ritual.

"Let's see," He said, opening the refrigerator and studying the contents. "How hungry am I this morning?"

He thought about this for a good thirty seconds, before grabbing several items out of the fridge and placing them on the kitchen counter.

He grabbed his Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs from the cabinet, and about six different bowls from the other cabinet. He filled every bowl to the rim and dowsed the cereal with chocolate milk. He then carried every bowl one by one to the coffee table in front of the TV in the living room.

He then poured himself a glass of orange juice, grabbed an entire bundle of bananas, made himself three burritos, snatched up some potato chips and bean dip and brought those to his feast as well.

He then slapped together a peanut butter sandwich, tried calling Pizza Hut only to discover that they aren't open at four in the morning and poured himself another glass of orange juice.

He then sat down with his small onslaught and grabbed the remote control from the couch cushion.

"This should keep me awake while I wait for the coffee to finish brewing," He said, leaning back with his first bowl of cereal and switching the TV on.

The next four hours were spent in front of the TV,

Elliot woke up around eight and fixed himself his usual breakfast of toast and orange juice.

"Well, what have you broken so far this morning?" The boy asked still slightly in a sleep daze.

"I'll have you know I never break things!" Socrates called back, who was now sitting in front of a large stack of empty bowls, plates and cups.

"Uh huh." Elliot grumbled, grabbing his toast and heading for the door. "I'm going now. I expect to see the house standing when I get back,"

"Oh, that's lovely. I forgot how to laugh," Socrates said, stiffly.

Elliot rolled his eyes and left.

Another couple of hours went by.

By that time, Socrates was sure that Pizza Hut was open and he gave them a call.

"Do you know who would be great to share this moment with?" Socrates yelled to no one, as he hung up the phone. "Calvin and Hobbes! I should call them and tell them to come over!"

And with that, Socrates whipped out his cell phone and started browsing through his contacts.

"Let's see here, Elliot…. Andy… Crazy robot guy who makes my parties fun… Jack T Robot…. Bill Gates… Drew Carrey…. John Travolta… Elliot's parents… David Blain…. Dr Oz…. Sherman 's lab…. Leslie Neilsen…. Jeff Foxworthy... Barack Obama…. Oh here it is! MTM!"

Socrates hit send and held the cell phone up to his ear.

It rang a few of times, then MTM's voice came onto the speakers

"Hello, you have reached the MTM." He said. "If your hearing this it either means I'm out of range for this call or I'm just really busy right now and don't have time for trivial phone calls from people not involved with what I'm doing. More often than most, it's possibility number two, so please leave your name, number and social security number and I'll consider calling you back."

_BEEP!_

"Hey, Hobbes! It's Socrates! You're missing out on pizza! Forget not what I have divulged to you!"

And with that, Socrates hung up.

He thought for a moment.

"Well, I could always invite Andy and Sherman over to play poker with," He shrugged, finally, picking his phone up, again and making another call.

* * *

About an hour later, Andy and Sherman had arrived at Socrates house and were sitting in the game room. Each of them were holding cards in front of them. Socrates was wearing a green transparent visor and Andy had a fake cigar in his mouth.

Big on authenticity, this group.

"I'll see your three toothbrushes and raise you 100 monopoly dollars," Andy said, throwing a chip down.

"Have I ever told you guys about the time I was attacked by a bunch of killer robots from the unknown?" Socrates suddenly asked, looking up from his cards.

"No, I don't believe you have, Socrates," Sherman said, boredly. "I raise three colorful bookmarks."

"Well, it all started on a fairly regular day, like this one!" Socrates began. "I was walking over to Calvin's house to discuss some political matters with him!"

"Wait what?" Andy asked, looking up. "How long have you been into politics?"

Socrates paused.

"Uh, no, I was going to prank him, you see," Socrates explained. "Then listen to him complain about it,"

"Ah," Andy said, turning back to his cards. "Raise a two gig flash drive."

"So anyway, I was walking down the sidewalk, when all of a sudden this laser shot out of nowhere, and knocked me off my feet to…."

"Where'd you get a laser?" Sherman asked, raising his eyebrow.

Socrates paused.

"I didn't have a laser," He said.

"Yeah you said you shot someone with a laser." Andy said, throwing another chip down.

"No, I said someone shot _me_ with a laser," Socrates explained. "You guys are _listening _to my epic tale of horror, aren't you?"

"Yeah, of course we are," Sherman said, throwing another chip down. "Please go on."

"Alright," Socrates said, tapping his chin in thought. "So where was I? Ah, yes! So the laser came out of nowhere and knocked me to the ground. Before I even had time to get up, this giant robot appeared from one of the bushes and raced over to me!"

"Yeah, well, winning isn't everything," Andy said, blandly.

There was a long moment of silence.

"What?" Socrates asked, finally.

Andy looked up.

"The race you were in? Just because you didn't win…."

"I never said anything about a race," Socrates said, his brow furrowing.

"Yes, you did," Sherman said, not even looking up from his cards.

"I did not!" Socrates said, indignantly. "And even if I did, I most definitely would have won it! I'll have you know I'm faster than any of you fools put together!"

"Yeah well, that's why I said winning isn't everything," Andy said.

Socrates blinked.

"So go on with your story," He said, turning back to his cards.

Socrates thought for a moment.

"Ah yes, the story! So the robot raced over to me and grabbed me by the scruff of my neck! I fought and clawed at it, but it had no effect on the great beast!"

"I thought you said it was a robot," Sherman said, throwing another chip down.

Socrates glared at the hamster.

"It _is _a robot! Now may I continue with the story?" He demanded.

Sherman shrugged.

"Alright, so the robot grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and started carrying me away," Socrates went on. "Right when I thought that all hope was lost, I noticed an on / off switch on the robot's head! In desperation I reached for it and switched it to the OFF position. AND IT WORKED! But now I was left in an awkward situation. The robot still had me in a tight grip, unable to let go unless I turned it back on! And right when I started thinking about what to do, a whole army of robots just suddenly appeared out of nowhere! I had nowhere to run! Nowhere to hide! They were all clawing at me and trying to eat my head! Then at the very last possible second, I escaped by the narrowest of margins by…"

**_BRAZAP!_**

Suddenly, there was a bright flash of light above the table Socrates, Andy and Sherman were playing on, and a tall figure appeared over them.

_THUMP!_

Hobbes landed right in the middle of the table, scattering cards and poker chips, the MTM held tightly in his hands.

Socrates, Andy and Sherman did not seem at all startled at Hobbes' sudden appearance.

"Oh, hi, Hobbes," Socrates said. "I'm sorry, but you missed the pizza. Now had you come about three minutes after the pizza had actually been delivered, maybe you would've gotten a piece."

Hobbes ignored Socrates and looked down at the MTM in horror.

"WE HAVE TO GO BACK! TAKE US BACK!" He shouted in blind panic.

"Righto," MTM said, noticeably calmer. "Give me a mo and I'll redirect the energy."

There was a moment of silence as the MTM hummed and tried to gather all the appropriate energy together.

"Nope, I can't take us back," He said, finally.

Hobbes' eyes burst open in horror.

"WHAT? WHY?"

"I'm afraid the coordinates have been wiped from my drive," MTM said. "I can't get us back."

"Back where?" Andy asked.

"Yeah, do we get to be let in on the latest emergency?" Socrates asked.

Hobbes looked around at Socrates, Andy and Sherman as if he had just noticed them.

There was a long pause.

Finally he spoke.

"Oh hi," He said deciding to calm down. "Calvin's about to die. Could you help?"

Andy shrugged.

"I suppose. Do fill us in." He said.

"Well, we woke up this morning, and everything seemed normal until we left the room, then we saw we were in this weird red hallway. Holographic Retro then appeared and told us he was in this parallel reality that he had created with the Realiphone which he stole and repaired." Hobbes explained hurriedly. "He then said we had one hour to get out of this maze or we'd be killed, so then we went through the maze and just barely made the one hour mark and then Retro said he wouldn't send us back,"

Andy and Sherman rolled their eyes.

"So then Calvin made a deal with Retro and sent MTM and I back but he stayed! So now Calvin is trapped in that alternate reality with Retro and we need to save him!"

There was a moment of silence.

"You guys caught all that right?" Hobbes asked, slowly.

"essentially." Sherman nodded. "Well, if you said he's in a reality that Retro created, that means it's located somewhere between this universe and the void. We could probably find it at the lab."

"Great! Let's go!" Hobbes said, excitedly, jumping off the table.

There was a pause.

"You listened to _his _story," Socrates grumbled.

Everyone glared at Socrates.

* * *

A few minutes later everyone was at Sherman 's lab. Sherman was typing hurriedly into his computer and trying to locate the dimension.

"Alright, MTM, I need Calvin's notepad with the Realiphone's combinations on it." Sherman said, looking up.

"Righto." MTM said, cheerfully.

**_BRAZAP!_**

There was a flash of light and the small fifty page notepad appeared on the console before Sherman .

The hamster scurried over to it, and began flipping through the pages.

"Let's see, killer guinea pig combination… raining forks combination…. Combination for figuring out the plot to LOST…. Ah, here it is. Creation of Alternate Reality. 7,2,6, #,1,4,8,3,5,0, 9 and *."

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

Sherman typed more commands into the computer and then entered that combination.

There was a silence at the computer hummed quietly. Then finally the results came up.

Sherman studied the monitor as the numbers flashed across the screen.

"Huh…" He said, his brow furrowing.

"What?" Andy asked.

"Well, apparently whatever reality was there before is gone, now." Sherman said. "Which isn't good because it very well could have taken Calvin with it."

"Oh god," Hobbes moaned. "What are we going to do?"

"Well, we orchestrate a rescue party and hope we can locate Calvin, who's possibly floating around somewhere in the void.

"Well, how long could that take?" Socrates asked.

"Well considering the void is larger than all of the realities in the 3rd dimension put together, we may have to invest a little bit of time into this," Sherman.

"All of the realities put together?" Socrates asked. "How big is that?"

"Big," Sherman said, blandly.

Socrates thought about that for a moment.

"Yeah well, you guys have fun with that," He said, finally, turning to leave.

Andy grabbed Socrates tail and gave him a stern look.

Socrates groaned.

"But I don't want to miss _David Letterman!_" He whined.

"Oh shut up and let's go," Andy said. "Shermie, how long before we can get into the void?"

"We can leave now," Sherman said, standing up. "I have a portal ship that can…."

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

Everyone looked around.

"What's that?" Hobbes asked.

Sherman whirled around and started typing again.

"It's the alarm." He said, looking at the screen intently. "Something just entered Earth's atmosphere!"

Everyone froze.

"Oh for the love of…" Hobbes moaned. "MTM, what is it this time? A giant meteor? Rupert and Earl? A bunch of stray Shadowfax that chose this time to come bother us?"

"Rupert and Earl," MTM said, causally, sounding as if he was nodding.

"We have to get out there," Sherman said, hopping onto Andy's hand. "With Calvin not here, the aliens will think they will be able to invade."

"What are we going to do?" Hobbes asked, pitifully.

"We go beat them," Sherman said. "MTM get your lasers ready,"

"They already are," MTM said. "Though I should say I'm running on limited power. teleporting through realties is scary stuff."

"Oh quit complaining," Andy said. "Let's go kick some alien backside!"

And with that everyone ran from the lab.

* * *

They all ran up to Andy's front door and stopped.

"Alright," Socrates said, stepping forward. "With Calvin gone, I'll take over as leader for the time being and…"

"Socrates," Sherman said, calmly.

Socrates grumbled and stood back.

"Alright," Sherman said. "So once MTM gets a lockon of Rupert and Earl's ship, he'll send a laser blast into their navigational system and that should cause the ship to go into an automatic mode and head back for Zok. That should buy us at least a _little_ more time to go find Calvin before they come back,"

"Agreed," Hobbes nodded.

"MTM, You ready?" Sherman asked.

"As previously stated, yes," MTM said.

"Alright, let's go!"

And with that Socrates flung the door open.

For a long time, the four stood there, staring at who was standing in front of them on the front porch.

Hobbes heaved a deep sigh.

Rupert and Earl both in their human disguises were standing over Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman, aiming their glowing green ray guns at them, smiling evilly.

"Well, hello there," Earl said dangerously.

"Hey Earl, what's up?" Socrates grinned.

"We have been waiting in space for nearly a _month _now!" Rupert growled. "And finally after all this time our scanners have detected that Calvin is gone!"

"He's just vanished!" Earl cackled. "Which all the invitation we need!"

And with that the two aliens burst out with insane laughter.

Everyone stared at them.

"A month?" Andy asked, raising his eyebrows. "Have you guys ever thought about actually _treating _your OCD?"

Rupert and Earl stopped laughing.

"How did you even know Calvin was gone?" Sherman demanded. "You can't keep a constant scan on him!"

Rupert grinned wickedly.

"One of our crew tracked him for the last month and when he disappeared he concocted this plan to kidnap you and take out the government!" He said, viscously.

Silence filled the neighborhood.

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman stared at Rupert and Earl for several seconds with dead expressions.

"You _are_ the same Rupert and Earl we know, right?" Socrates asked.

"Oh god, are we still in some weird parallel dimension?" Hobbes asked in horror. "Is this part of Retro's maze?"

"You want to meet him?" Rupert asked, quietly.

"Will, come here!" Earl shouted.

Suddenly, another alien stepped out from behind the two aliens.

He didn't look that much different from any of the other members in Earl's crew, except for the fact that this guy had a much sterner expression on his face and he stood up straight as opposed to the other crew members who slither around the ship slouched over.

"Hobbes and company, this Wilbert. Our new crew member," Earl said, grinning evilly.

"Charmed," The alien said, grinning back at the group.

"Wilbert here got rejected from the Zokian Navel Station, so they gave him to us," Rupert said. "And lo and beyond, this one actually knows what he's doing."

Wilbert nodded.

"We knew we had a good one when we administered the test on him." Earl said.

"Test?" Sherman demanded. "What test?"

Rupert turned to Wilbert.

"Wilbert, why are we here?"

"To destroy the Supreme Earthling Potentate and dissolve Earth's defenses from the inside out by breaking down the government one layer at a time," Wilbert said without missing a beat. "Then to wipe out every living creature on this planet to create a Zokian army training base."

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman's eyes bulged.

"Oh dear…." Andy said. "There were words longer than two syllables in that sentence."

Rupert and Earl turned back to the group.

"Now you all know what the apocalypse really is going to be!" Rupert growled.

And with that the two aliens aimed and fired their stun rays.

The four were knocked out cold and MTM was shut off, as Rupert, Earl and Wilbert moved in to secure them.

* * *

Hobbes opened his eyes and looked around.

He immediately recognized the room around him as Rupert and Earl's experimentation room, as he had been in it many times in the past. It was his own personal guest room in Rupert and Earl's ship.

He sat up and looked around.

He was laying sprawled across the experimentation table next to a desk of painful looking tools and surgery equipment.

Socrates, Andy and Sherman were lying on the tables next to him, they were all starting to come to as well. The MTM was nowhere in sight.

Suddenly, the door beside Hobbes opened.

his head snapped up and he looked around in horror, but quickly calmed down when he saw the name tags of the aliens coming in.

Zack, Carl, Lenny and Dave all slithered into the room. Each of them wore identical mindless grins which matched their identical lunatic personalities.

"Oh, hi!" Dave said, waving at Hobbes. "We're here to experiment on you!"

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"Are you now? Could you wait a few minutes for everyone to wake up.

The four aliens all looked down at the still half asleep Socrates, Andy and Sherman.

"OK!" Dave grinned. "You wanna play charades while we wait?"

Hobbes sighed.

"No."

"Oh. OK!" Dave grinned.

And with that, the four aliens all turned and stared at the three remaining people with fixed stares.

When everyone finally came completely into full consciousness, the crew began their grueling experimentation process.

"So how many ducks have you seen in your whole lifetime?" Zack asked.

The four aliens, and Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman were all sitting in a circle on the floor. Lenny was holding a notepad and pencil while they all asked questions to the four victims.

"Erm… I don't know…. A few…" Andy shrugged.

"Fascinating!" Lenny yelled, frantically scribbling on the notepad.

Carl leaned over and examined Lenny's writing.

"Oh lord in heaven, Lenny! This is literary _GOLD!_" He shouted.

Hobbes looked over Lenny's shoulder.

There was a crude drawing of himself on the paper with his name written above it and an arrow going from it pointing at the drawing.

The tiger sighed.

Carl turned back to the group.

"So how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" He asked, excitedly.

Andy paused on that one.

"Uh… three point four." He said, finally.

"GENIUS!" Lenny screamed, causing everyone to jump.

"You there, the cat!" Dave said, pointing at Socrates.

Socrates leaned back as if Dave had a crippling disease that he very likely may contract.

"…Yes?" He asked, unsurely.

"Are you a dog?" Dave asked.

For a long moment, Socrates did not answer. He simply stared at Dave with a rather repulsed expression.

Dave's expression did not falter.

"No," He said, finally. "I am not a dog."

"Lenny, put "I don't know" for the cat!" Dave said.

"I already have!" Lenny grinned.

"Earl's gonna be so _proud _of us!" Zack grinned, hopping up and down in his seat.

Everyone rolled their eyes.

At that moment the door opened again, and who should walk in, but the newest crew member; Wilbert.

"Oh for… I knew you idiots would be doing this!"

The aliens all grinned and waved at Wilbert.

"HI WILBERT!" They all screamed in perfect unison.

"Shut up," Wilbert spat.

The aliens shut up, albeit retained their lunatic grins.

"So, dare I ask, what the heck you've actually accomplished in the thirty minutes you've been in here experimenting on the prisoners?"

The aliens paused.

Lenny held up his notepad.

"We've discovered through our grueling research…" He began. "That these prisoners that we hold before us…" He paused for dramatic effect. "…Are not dogs!"

There was a long moment of silence.

Suddenly, Lenny's grin dropped and he thought about what he had just said.

He turned to Sherman .

"Wait, you're not a dog, right?" He asked.

"No," Sherman sighed.

Lenny grinned, again.

"Nope! They're not dogs!" He said turning back to Wilbert.

Wilbert continued staring at them.

Finally he spoke.

"Alright, you morons, return to your stations. I'll take over the experimenting from here." He said.

Lenny and Carl exchanged glances.

"But… We're not Mormons…." Zack said.

Lenny leaned over to Hobbes.

"He thinks we're Mormons," He whispered. "Those bald guys with the orange robes and tambourines down at the airport!"

"Those are called monks," Hobbes sighed.

Lenny paused.

"Oh…." He said. "Well, that destroys all my knowledge about your guys' religions."

"GET OUT!" Wilbert screamed, jabbing his tentacle at the door.

"Okay!" The aliens all grinned, again in unison, as they got up and slithered out of the room, talking excitedly about all the interesting things they discovered that day.

No doubt it was going to be the gossip of the week.

Wilbert watched them go with distaste.

"Idiots," He grumbled, shaking his head.

He turned back to Socrates, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman.

"So," He said, casually strolling over to the experimentation table and moving his tentacles over all the tools, as if looking for one of them. "How long have you guys known the Earth Potentate?"

"Oh just get on with it!" Socrates groaned. "Stop tormenting us and do whatever your gonna do!"

"Sssh, ssh," Wilbert said, holding up a tentacle. "Patience is a virtue, Socrates."

Socrates grumbled to himself.

"Where are Rupert and Earl?" Hobbes asked.

"You just missed them," Wilbert chuckled, continuing down the table, still looking for a particular tool on the table. "They've set out for the White House. They plan to have the entire U.S. government broken down before six."

Hobbes glares at Wilbert suspiciously.

"Ya know, there's something not right about you!" He growled.

"That being that I'm the only crew member on this ship that has a clue?" Wilbert asked, his eyebrows jumping. "That is odd, isn't it?"

He continued down the table, then finally, he seemingly found what he was looking for.

"Ah, here we go," He said, picking up a small black gun.

Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Socrates all stared at it in horror.

"What is that?" Andy demanded.

"It's a device of my own creation." Wilbert chuckled. "Some of you may actually know about it."

"Why? What is it?" Hobbes demanded, growing more and more suspicious of this alien.

Wilbert didn't reply. Instead, he aimed the gun at himself and pulled the trigger.

**_BRAZAP!_**

A bright flash of light filled the entire room for one split second and then disappeared.

Hobbes and the gang all blinked several times trying to regain their vision as they tried to make out what had happened.

Wilbert was now gone.

In his place was a much shorter figure with spiky yellow hair and a red T-shirt.

"It's called the Transmogrifier Gun," Calvin said, causally, putting the gun back on the table. "So, what have I missed? You guys didn't go rent Avatar and watch it without me, did you? You know I want to see the movie more than any of you do!"

Socrates, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman all stared at Calvin with wide, unblinking eyes.

Then, reaction came.

_THUMP!_

Socrates had fainted dead away onto the floor.

**To Be Continued...**


	2. Alien Nation P2

_Part Two written by Garfieldodie_

The fog cleared from his vision as Socrates looked around, seeing Calvin and the others looking down at him intently.

"You okay there, Crateso?" Calvin asked, grinning.

Socrates sat straight up. "Wait, you… But you're… What…? How did you…? What? _Hey_!"

But Calvin merely smirked and walked away across the room, checking himself over. "Let's see… Legs… Arms… Hands… Fingers… Thumbs… Ears… Eyes… Nose…"

Hobbes walked over to him.

"But… But how did you do it?" he asked, having trouble keeping his jaw up off the ground. "You and Retro were about to have this giant confrontation! There was metal and lava and a thing with a deal and it… _How'd you get out of there_?"

Calvin grinned smugly. "Well, I hate to be immodest, but it did take a certain amount of clever and cunning to escape that dreadful chasm."

Everyone sighed in frustration.

"Calvin, just tell us what happened," Andy said. "Hobbes says there was a maze of some sort?"

"Are you sure you want me to go into this now of all times? I still have to finish my plan, and Socrates hasn't really recovered yet."

"Pah!" Socrates snorted, getting to his feet. "I'm the pinnacle of health!"

"Boo."

"ACK!" Socrates leapt backwards, proving he was still on edge.

Calvin snickered. "Ah, it's good to be back."

"Back?" Sherman repeated. "You've only been away for a few hours."

"From your point of view, yes, I have."

"But what happened? How did you escape from Retro?" Hobbes asked, growing antsy with anticipation.

Calvin smirked. "Well, if you insist… To start with, I had no difficulty in escaping, really. I just had to play his game for awhile."

"What game was that?"

"Well, as soon as I was sure you and MTM were out of harm's way, things took a bit of a violent turn."

"What'd he do to you?" asked Andy.

"Well, after you left, we headed towards the ledge over the lake of lava. From there, we began. We drew no weapons. He tried to grab me with his long arms, but I managed to hold him back by grabbing his legs. We wrestled for a little while over the ledge. Finally, he deliberately fell on the floor, and we rolled around, on the ground, fighting still. However, I finally managed to lean him out over the edge, but he'd grabbed me by my shirt. I decided to keep going at it, and after awhile, I managed to get him over the ledge, and he pulled me down with him."

There was an impressive pause as they stared at him incredulously.

"Wait… You _both _went over the edge?" Hobbes asked, trying to figure this out in his head.

"Yes, quite clever, really," Calvin said with a grin.

"But how'd you escape from that?" Andy asked.

Calvin twirled the Transmogrifier Gun on his index finger. "This little baby was hidden in my hair the whole time. Remember, Hobbes?"

"Right…," Hobbes said, piecing this together.

"So why didn't you just transmogrify Retro into a rock or something and be done with it?" Socrates asked.

"Well, he'd clearly gone to a great deal of trouble to set up my untimely demise. It just seemed like cheating to do it while he was actually fighting me. Once we were both over the edge, I figured it had become fair game."

"Only in your head," Sherman said, rolling his eyes.

"So I transmogrified one of the screws in the wall into a diving platform to land on, and I landed safely while Retro continued to fall. I watched him for a few more seconds before he rebounded off the pipes pouring lava, and once he landed, his light bee reacted to the heat from the lava. His image wavered for a few moments before it shut down completely. The light bee sank and presumably melted in seconds."

Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Socrates were sufficiently stunned.

"Wait… You're saying… We actually _killed off _a villain?" Socrates cried. "Can we actually _do that_?"

Calvin shrugged. "My conflicts with Holographic Retro had reached a climax. Following his desertion of his human master, he no longer served a purpose. It all evened out in the end."

"But how did you get out of the maze?" Hobbes asked, still looking to get the rest of his needed answers. "There wasn't a way out!"

Calvin waved the Transmogrifier Gun in his hand again, grinning proudly.

"I managed to then turn the diving platform into a jetpack that took me back to the top. With the Realiphone no longer there to sustain the alternate reality, it would break down quickly and trap me in the void. So I transmogrified the jetpack into a door that would send me home."

"How'd you get it to send you home?" Andy asked.

"Because I wanted it to. I arrived in our bedroom presumably while you guys were on your way to Sherman's lab to try and figure out where I was."

"But what about your disguise?" Sherman asked. "You've clearly been up to this for some time."

"Indeed. It was here that I realized that fate had thrown me an incredibly lucky chance. I immediately set about finding a way to disappear off the face of the Earth. It came in a much simpler way than I thought. I just used the Time Machine to jump back in time about a day."

"What's the point of that?" Andy asked.

"As you know, Retro was not the only one who has tried to destroy us. I wanted to see if I could use my disappearance as an opportunity. I then saw something in a newspaper that got me all excited."

"And that was…?" Hobbes asked.

"Rupert Chill has escaped from prison."

"What…?" Socrates asked, looking very lost. "But didn't he and Earl just put us in here…?"

But Hobbes clued in. "Ohh, wait a minute. Not the alien Rupert Chill, but the _human _Rupert Chill, the twin brother of John Howard Chill."

"I thought John Howard Chill was turned into a statue in the Death Zone," Andy said, furrowing his brow.

"No, John Howard Chill is a human as well," Hobbes corrected. "The alien John Howard said the Chill family was special for some reason, but we never found out why exactly…"

"No doubt we'll find out why someday," Sherman said with a shrug.

"But what's this got to do with the current situation?" Socrates asked.

"I can't tell you the whole plan yet," Calvin said, "but I _can _tell you that it is nearing completion."

"How'd you manage all this anyway? How'd you even get to Zok?" Hobbes demanded.

"All I had to do was go back in time a little further. I traveled through time and space and made it to Zok with the intention of getting Rupert and Earl off our backs for a great while. I transmogrified into an alien, adopted the name Wilbert, and I headed off for the Zokian Naval Station. There, I at first created the illusion that Wilbert was nothing more than another idiot, and after two weeks I was thrown out and handed over to Earl's crew. There, I reestablished Wilbert as a genius, or at least it appeared so when compared to their usual lot. I suggested the plan to keep an eye on the Supreme Earth Potentate, and over time I gained the trust of Rupert and Earl."

"I bet they were just glad to have someone intelligent to talk to," Andy said with a wry grin.

"Thank you."

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Anyway, once we went missing into the maze, I immediately told Rupert and Earl that I'd been missing for some time and that now was a good time to strike. And, of course, I knew I'd need you guys to help me out, so I told them to capture you and bring you here."

With the tale now completed, the others stared at him in amazement.

"You are the same Calvin, right?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin sighed. "Yes, Hobbes, I just got through saying—"

**_POW!_**

Calvin was cut off when Hobbes suddenly collided with his middle and they went rolling around the room.

Socrates, Andy and Sherman watched with interest.

Finally, all the rolling ceased and Calvin was suddenly flung into the air, and Hobbes managed to catch while still lying on the floor.

"YOU'RE ALIVE! YOU'RE ALIVE, YOU'RE ALIVE, _YOU'RE ALIVE_!" he cheered enthusiastically.

Calvin went up and down repeatedly.

"Er, Hobbes… Whoa! Let's take it easy… Ack! They might hear us! Hey!"

But Hobbes was too happy to care. He threw Calvin up in the air like a ball of yarn.

The others watched with amusement.

"I feel like I'm watching an episode of Oprah," Andy said.

"A short person going up and down in the air due to being rebounded off a soft object in a moment of extreme joy?" Socrates asked. "Yeah, I can see the connection."

* * *

Rupert and Earl stood at the helm in the massive control room, keeping an eye on everything. The aliens were working around the clock, sitting at the massive computer consoles, sending in reams of data to the drive computers and back.

"Approaching White House now, sir," Earl announced, looking up from a monitor.

"Excellent," Rupert said. "Are the weapons charged?"

Dave looked unsure for a moment. "Well… I know we paid for them. We all chipped in. Remember? We had that bake sale!"

Rupert growled. "I _mean_, are the weapons operational?"

Dave smiled at this. "Oh, yes! They work perfectly! They can even go up and down! Watch!"

He pulled down on a lever, and suddenly the entire ship dipped downwards as the weapons outside the hull lowered rather forcefully.

"And now they go up!"

Throwing the lever up caused the entire ship to nearly do a back flip.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" the aliens cheered.

"STOP THAT AT ONCE!" Earl roared.

They all immediately stopped what they were doing and looked at him.

"Where's Wilbert?" Rupert demanded.

"He said he'd operate on the not-dogs," Lenny explained.

"That means there'll be less to clean up later," Earl muttered. "Well, we need him in here for that competency. Send for him."

Bill picked up a microphone and pressed the button to transmit.

"Wilbert? Front of the ship calling for Wilbert. Wilbert? Where are you? Boss is getting antsy. Please respond. Tootles."

And Bill put down the mike. "We should get a response soon," he said, smiling dopily.

But Earl was staring at him in bewilderment.

"I'm getting 'antsy'?" he asked, sounding very annoyed.

"Yup," Bill replied, not seeing the problem.

"You just announced that I'm getting 'antsy'?"

"You got it!"

"'Antsy'?"

"Absolutely!"

Earl stared at Bill before glancing at Rupert, looking a little unsure.

"I don't get antsy, do I?" he asked, sounding a little awkward.

Rupert sighed heavily. "No, Earl, you don't get antsy."

"You… You _would _tell me if I was ever antsy, right?"

"Of course."

"I just… Antsy? I never even considered…"

"You're fine, Earl, you're _fine_."

* * *

Calvin and the others had the announcement as well.

"Oop," Calvin said. "That's my cue. I'd better go see what's up."

"But how are you supposed to carry out your plan if you're stuck with Rupert and Earl?" Hobbes asked.

"Why do you think I asked them to capture you guys? You're my people on the inside."

"So what do we do?" Andy asked.

"I'm giving you each a job. Hobbes, I need you to find the main airlock. Have it primed for when I give the signal."

"Er… I don't know how to prime an airlock," Hobbes said sheepishly.

"It's simple. Just enter these codes into the keypad above the door," Calvin replied, handing him a sheet of paper from his pocket.

Hobbes took them and nodded.

"Socrates? I need you to locate MTM. He's in Supply Bunker 7 next to the blasting plastic. Grab some of that as well, huh?"

"You got it, Hoss," Socrates grinned.

"Andy, I need you to hack into the main computers. I need you to mess with their Navicomp. Use these splinter codes to get in and then preset these coordinates."

Andy took another piece of paper. "You hold me in too high regard," he said blandly.

"I know. Frightening, isn't it?

Calvin took Sherman from Andy's shoulder and held him in the palm of his hand.

"Sherman? Your job is the most important. I need you to get their holographic disguise units. Find Rupert's. I need you to do something to it."

"What, pray tell?" Sherman asked.

Calvin whispered in the hamster's ear, and Sherman grinned.

"Easy-peasy," he said.

"Good. All of you get to work."

Calvin set Sherman on the floor, and then he took hold of the Transmogrifier Gun, aimed it at himself, and he turned into Wilbert the alien again.

"Here we go," he said.

"Calvin, just one thing before you go," Hobbes said.

"What's that?"

"…Wilbert? Really?"

Calvin shifted uncomfortably in the alien body.

"When they admittance office at Zok gave me the paper work, I sort of panicked," he explained.

And with that, he slithered out of the room and vanished.

Socrates shrugged. "Could've been worse. He could've gone with Roscoe P Coltrane."

Nodding in agreement, they all fled the room.

* * *

Wilbert slithered into the Main Control Room where everyone else was waiting.

"What took you so long?" Earl demanded.

"Apologies. I had to wipe the blood off my tentacles," Wilbert replied coolly. "What do you need?"

"We need you to supervise," Earl ordered. "Keep an eye on everyone. Make sure we reach our destination, make sure the weapons are set up, and make sure nobody puts an eye out."

Wilbert nodded. "On it," he said, heading for the balcony to get a good look at everyone.

* * *

Hobbes slunk along the corridors of the ship, hoping to keep out of sight of the security cameras. Slinking around on all fours as gracefully and gently as he could, checked the signs over the corridors, making sure he was going the right way.

Finally, he saw the airlock in question waiting for him at the end of the hall. It glistened under the fluorescent light.

"_Here _we go," he said to himself.

* * *

A hatchway in the ceiling opened up and Socrates poked his head through, searching the darkness for what he was looking for.

"Let's see… Are these the Supply Bunkers?" he asked nobody.

Looking around, he managed to catch sight of a row of doors going down a long corridor.

Grinning triumphantly, he jumped through the hatch and dropped to the floor.

"And our hero treks bravely forward," he whispered, sneaking down the rows of doors.

* * *

Andy looked around a corner and saw a door with a sign written on it.

MAIN COMPUTERS

Shrugging to himself, he tiptoed down the corridor and pushed the door open, looking inside.

Huge computer banks were lining the walls. Andy felt more than a little insignificant as he wandered through them awkwardly.

"Man…," he muttered to himself. "How the heck am I supposed to find the Navicomp in this giant jungle of blinking lights and forwarded chain letters?"

But then, to his surprise, he saw a giant computer that was labeled: NAVICOMP

At first, he thought he was lucky, but then he remembered.

"Zok. They named their planet _Zok_," he muttered.

* * *

Sherman scurried along the corridor and tried to find the appropriate door. He finally located it and squeezed under it.

The room was the Environmental Supply Room.

"Let's see…," he said, going over the crates of supplies. "Oxygen Tablets… Heat Increaser Tablets… Where the heck are the…? Ah-ha! I have it!"

Sherman had found the crate containing the hologram disguise units, all of which were in the form of Earth wristwatches.

"Now let's see… Which one is Rupert's…?"

* * *

Hobbes inspected the sheet of paper Calvin had given him, and then began pressing buttons on the keypad next to the airlock.

"Let's see… Next it's 3, 5 and then 8…"

He typed in the numbers.

A light began to blink on the front of the airlock door.

"Okay, good. Now… 7… 3… 2… 6… _9_…"

After typing those numbers in, the airlock hissed and began to slowly open.

Hobbes grinned as it did so.

"Perfecto," he said proudly.

* * *

Socrates found Supply Bunker 7 and opened it up. He looked inside. He could see piles and stacks and mountains of supplies on the shelves.

"I wonder how many items these aliens have ordered from Ikea," he mused. "I wonder if they've ever made use of those tiny little hammers."

He took a look down the bunker, which was bathed in a dim blue light.

"MTM?" he called out.

No reply.

"MTM! Stay alive! No matter what occurs, I _will _find you!"

Still no reply.

Sighing to himself, Socrates wandered a bit further ahead.

"Let's see… Blasting plastic… Blasting plastic… If I were blasting plastic, where would I hide?"

But then he saw the heavy-looking box sitting on the shelf that was clearly labeled "BLASTING PLASTIC".

In fact, it was written in ink and taped to the front of the box.

Socrates looked confused, but then he couldn't help but smirk.

"Calvin, you think of everything…," he muttered.

He opened the box and found smaller crates with straps around them for carrying. On the front of was a timer for setting it off. Grinning, he pulled two packs out and slung them around his neck like a satchel.

And then, once looked next to the box, he saw a dormant red CD player sitting on the shelf.

"There you are, you little scamp!" he said cheerily, picking him up.

He pressed the play button, and the MTM revved into life.

"Ahem… Testing, testing, row, row, row your boat," he said, his electronic voice crackling with interference until it reached normalcy.

"You okay, MTM?" Socrates asked.

"I'm back," MTM replied cheerfully. "Kicking bottom or what?"

Grinning, Socrates tore back the way he came.

* * *

Andy had managed to open up a panel on the back of the Navicomp and was busily presetting the coordinates Calvin had given him.

"Okay, let's see what we've got here," he said. "If I can just reprogram their directional relays, I may be able to reset their coordinate settings."

There was a sudden shower of sparks as Andy burnt his hand on a servo.

"Ouch!" he said, kissing his finger. "Okay, maybe not."

But then he saw a set of red wires bundled together hanging from above. "Okay, maybe this one is it…"

Pulling three of the wires down, there was a sudden flashing of light.

Checking the paper to make sure that was correct, he grinned. "I'm on the right track," he said. "Now, where's the screen…? Ah, here you are."

Pressing a small button on the screen, Andy found a keyboard sliding out for him.

"Now let's see… 25 degrees… 46 by 80… 12 by 34… Then 54…"

The screen clicked and a new graphic appeared.

_COORDINATES ACCEPTED_

Andy grinned smugly.

* * *

Lenny sat at the main computers, checking on the engines and whatnot, when he saw the screen flash something.

"Oops, what's this?" he asked, looking closely.

_COURSE CHANGE_

_25 DEGREES SOUTHEAST_

Of course, Lenny didn't suspect foul play. He simply grinned at the computer.

"You're the boss," he said cheerily, resetting the coordinates.

The ship suddenly swerved, and everyone leaned to one side.

Rupert and Earl looked around, quite startled.

"What the heck is going on?" Rupert asked, looking quite startled.

Calvin, still in his Wilbert guise, looked down from the balcony and saw how surprised they looked. Acting quickly, he looked in Lenny's direction.

"YOU! NAVIGATOR!"

Lenny turned around and snapped a salute.

"Yes, Wilbert?" he called happily.

"KEEP IT ON THE ROAD! YOU NEARLY WENT OFF COURSE!"

"Yes, Wilbert!" Lenny replied, and he went back to work.

Wilbert then looked over at Rupert and Earl, who nodded in approval at him.

Smirking, he went back to checking over everyone.

* * *

Hobbes stood dutifully by the airlock, waiting for somebody to come get him.

Then Andy appeared from down the corridor.

"Okay, coordinates are set. We're on our way," he said.

"That's nice," Hobbes replied. "Where precisely are we going?"

"Not a clue. Hopefully we're not about to interrupt a Super Bowl Halftime Show."

"Why not?"

"Have you seen football fans when they're ticked off? They could physically take the life of a fellow human being. Preferably a stranger."

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

* * *

Rupert looked at the clock on the wall.

"Odd… We should've been there by now," he said, feeling confused.

"Can't be anything wrong," Earl said. "We've got Wilbert in charge."

Earl slithered over towards Lenny, who was staring at his screens intently.

"Lenny, what's the ETA?" he asked.

Lenny looked at him, rather surprised.

"ETA?"

Earl sighed. "When are we supposed to get there?"

"Oh…"

Lenny checked one of the screens.

"Looks like we've still got a few more minutes," he said.

"But we should've been there an hour ago. You said we were going to take two hours of travel."

"We've been traveling for three, sir."

"What took so long then?"

"Beats me. I just come in everyday and press buttons."

Earl rolled his eyes and looked up at Wilbert.

"Wilbert, what exactly has been going on here?" he asked.

"Everything has been going according to plan," Wilbert replied.

"What do you mean? We're an hour behind schedule."

"I didn't say _your _plan."

Rupert and Earl stared at Wilbert for a long throbbing minute.

"What are you saying?" Rupert asked in a dangerous whisper.

Wilbert smirked. "You didn't find it at all odd that I just sort of popped out of nowhere? You didn't find it a bit odd that Calvin just disappeared? How about the fact that I clearly know what I'm doing?"

Rupert stared. "Who are you?"

Wilbert held up the Transmogrifier Gun and aimed it at himself.

**_BRZAP!_**

The aliens stared as Wilbert changed back into his true form.

Calvin was smiling slyly down at them.

"Miss me?" he asked.

Rupert felt rage bubbling up deep inside him.

"You little…"

"Wow! Neat trick!" Lenny cried.

"Do it again! Do it again!" Biff shouted.

Calvin simply smirked at them.

"Now that you all feel sufficiently stupid, perhaps I can get on with my plans," he said, holding up the Transmogrifier Gun again, this time aiming it at Rupert and Earl.

Earl drew out his blaster.

Both fired at the same.

**_KAPOW!_**

Calvin's shot missed and hit the Communications Station.

Earl managed to hit the Transmogrifier Gun and sent it flying out of Calvin's hand.

"Now then, if you're quite finished, perhaps we can destroy you properly," Earl growled.

"Sure, destroy me," Calvin said, fighting back a grin.

The aliens didn't know it, but Calvin hadn't missed. He'd scored a direct hit.

He'd activated the ship's intercom, and now his voice was being transmitted all over the ship.

* * *

Meanwhile, Socrates was on his way to meet up with Hobbes and Andy. He was just greeting them at the airlock when they all heard Calvin's voice coming over the loudspeakers.

"_Just for the moment, though, stay where you are_," he said.

Hobbes, Andy and Socrates looked around.

"Calvin?" Hobbes asked.

"What's he doing?" Socrates asked.

"_You think you can stop us? You've got nowhere to run_," Rupert's voice said.

"_Just stay where you are, please_," Calvin replied.

"They've found him," Andy said, dread latent in his voice.

"What do we do?" Socrates asked.

"How about we listen?" MTM suggested.

"_If you stay where you are, I can tell you something_," Calvin's voice said.

"_What could you possibly say to us_?" Earl's voice demanded.

"He's talking to _us_," Andy said with realization.

"Shh!" Hobbes hissed.

"_I just want to say that I messed with your coordinates. I've redirected everything so that we arrive in a nice quiet secluded area. Nice place. It's called __Montana__. Hardly anybody there._"

"Montana?" Socrates repeated.

"_You know what the initials for that state? MT. It's fun to say over and over again. MTMTMTMTMTMTMTMTMT… M_."

There was a pause.

And then Hobbes realized.

"He's talking about the MTM," he said, snapping his fingers.

"_What are you driveling about_?" Rupert wanted to know.

"_I'm just saying that __Montana__ is a nice place. Very spacious. You can travel anywhere in the blink of an eye. Quickly. Hardly any speed limit. You could travel anywhere. You could transport yourself from one place to another_."

"I think I see where he's going with this," Socrates said.

"_You could possibly get there in the blink of an eye. You could send things there. You can even arrange for a mode of transport to go and pick you up and then bring you back to_ _where you belong_. _Even at a train station, just so long as you tell a porter_."

"Tell a porter?" Andy repeated.

"Tell a port," Hobbes said, excitement growing.

Socrates grinned and held up MTM.

"MTM, find Calvin and teleport over to him," he ordered.

"Roger-doger," MTM replied.

**_BRZAP!_**

MTM vanished.

* * *

"This endless prattling shall cease!" Rupert shouted.

Rupert and Earl aimed their blasters at Calvin.

**_BRZAP!_**

The MTM appeared on the railing on the balcony and immediately fired his laser, sending the blasters out of their tentacles.

"Oh good," Calvin said, rolling his eyes. "I was worried I was being too subtle."

He picked up the Transmogrifier Gun and grabbed onto MTM.

"Take me back to the others."

**_BRZAP!_**

And they were gone.

"FIND HIM!" Rupert shouted.

* * *

**_BRZAP!_**

Calvin reappeared in front of Hobbes, Andy and Socrates.

"Okay, they'll be here any minute," he said. "Is the airlock primed?"

"Ready whenever you are," Hobbes replied.

"Good."

"What have you got planned, precisely?" Andy asked.

"All in good time, Andrew, don't worry. MTM, get the phone ready. I need to make a call down to the local police station for Montana. Socrates, take the blasting plastic down to the opposite corridor and set it to go off in two minutes. Then get back over here."

Socrates nodded and headed back down the corridor.

Calvin opened the MTM.

"Helena Police Department. How may we help you?"

"Hello," Calvin said. "I think I've just seen Rupert Chill, and I'd like to report him…"

* * *

Rupert and Earl led the band of aliens into the corridor, and they found that it split off into two different directions. One went deeper into the ship, and the other led to the airlock.

"Which way could he have gone?" Earl demanded.

Then they heard a loud noise come from the left.

**_KABOOM!_**

A huge cloud of smoke came billowing up the corridor.

"What the heck is he doing?" Earl demanded.

"Stop him! Get down there and catch him!" Rupert shouted.

Earl led the aliens, and they all started shouting gibberish as they happily hurried after him.

Rupert was about to follow, but then he saw something down the other corridor.

It was Calvin, and he was waving at him.

"No! Earl, stop! He's this way! COME BACK!"

But the aliens were making so much noise as they disappeared that they couldn't hear him.

Calvin smirked and vanished down the corridor.

Rupert let out a growl. "Fine! I'll get you myself!"

And he tore after him.

* * *

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Socrates waited at the end of the corridor.

"He's coming," Calvin said. "Hobbes, get ready to shut that thing."

"I'm on it," Hobbes replied, placing his steady fingers over the keypad.

Calvin stood directly in front of the airlock, no weapons in his hands.

Rupert appeared around the corner and slithered as fast as he could in Calvin's direction, growling and screaming.

Just one second before he might've had him, Socrates flung the MTM in Calvin's direction, who caught it and was suddenly gone.

**_BRZAP!_**

Rupert sailed through the dissipating particles and landed in the airlock.

**_BRZAP!_**

Calvin reappeared just a few feet away.

"NOW!"

Hobbes entered the codes and the door slid shut.

Rupert looked up and saw it shut around him.

"No! NO!" he bellowed. "This is not how it ends!"

"Oh no, Rupert," Calvin assured him. "It's only the beginning."

Suddenly the airlock opened from the rear, and Rupert was sucked out of it, flying down towards Earth.

But the airlock had set off an alarm, and Earl had been alerted, and he ran to see what had happened. He saw Rupert vanish and Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Socrates smiling innocently.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" Earl hollered, both furious and horrified.

"No time to chat. We must get going," Calvin said. "MTM?"

"You got it, dude," MTM replied.

**_BRZAP!_**

They all vanished.

Earl let out a growl before pulling out a communicator.

"Attention, crew," he said into it. "We have a Black Alert. The King is in danger. Repeat. _The King is in danger_."

* * *

Rupert continued to fall through the air towards Earth, trying to figure out what to do. He saw he was coming closer and closer to the ground, so he tried to find something soft to land on. He immediately saw a small pond that he figured he could land on, and he aimed for it.

"Please don't hurt… Please don't hurt…," he whispered.

**_SPLOOSH!_**

The cool water slathered around Rupert's body, chilling him quite a bit.

"ACK! COLD! COLD! COLD!" he wailed, climbing out of the water and onto dry land, where he frantically began to dry off.

As he did this, he pulled out his communicator. He shook it dry and turned it on.

"Earl? Earl, are you reading me?"

* * *

Earl was trying to organize the crew when the voice came through.

"Rupert, sir, are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Just a bit of a chill. But I'm on Earth without a disguise and unarmed. If someone sees me, I may be in trouble."

"We'll send you a disguise unit. Stay where you are."

* * *

Earl came into the Environmental Supply Room. He found the box that had the disguise units and picked out the one that had Rupert's human body downloaded into it. He took out a Transmat Gun and aimed it at it.

The watch slowly vanished.

Earl took his communicator back out.

"It's on its way, sir," he said.

"Good," the garbled reply came.

And with that, Earl left the room.

He hadn't noticed Sherman was hiding in a corner, grinning proudly to himself.

**_BRZAP!_**

Moments later, Calvin appeared, holding MTM.

"Well?"

"It's all set."

"Good. The others are waiting for us."

Calvin picked up Sherman, and off they went.

**_BRZAP!

* * *

_**

The disguise unit, looking for the entire world like a wristwatch, appeared before Rupert in the grass.

"Right," he hissed, strapping it around his right tentacle. "Let's do this…"

He pressed a button on the watch.

Slowly, he began to take on a human form.

But this wasn't his usual human form.

Now he had on black pants, red boots, a white shirt with a blue jacket and his hair was standing up with a goatee beard coming down around his face.

"What the heck…?" he said. "Isn't this the old disguise?"

Then a shower of sparks flew out of his watch, startling him.

"What…?"

But before he could speculate, he heard the sound of police sirens.

"What's going on?" he demanded.

"Oh, wouldn't _you_ like to know?" a familiar voice said mockingly.

Rupert looked over his shoulder and saw Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Socrates smiling sweetly at him.

"YOU!" he shouted. "What have you done?"

"I seem to recall that you have someone else's name," Calvin said, smiling. "Rupert Chill is also a human being. A human being who is outside of the human law."

"So?"

"So… Look at who you're disguised as."

Rupert looked at this holographic body with growing horror. "You…you mean…?"

"You're looking mighty suspicious there, pal," Andy said with a smirk.

"No… NO!"

"I'm afraid so. You're trapped. If Earl and the others try to rescue you, you'll be exposed and your plans will be in ruins. You'll be captured and all of you shall be experimented on."

"THERE! THERE HE IS!"

Rupert turned around and stared in horror. The police had arrived and were aiming their guns at him.

"NO! STAY BACK!" he roared. "I AM NOT THE RUPERT CHILL YOU SEEK!"

One of them held up a megaphone. "The Rupert Chill we're looking for is a dangerous criminal. He is a psychopath."

"I AM _NOT _A PSYCHOPATH!" Rupert bellowed. "I AM RUPERT CHILL, KING OF THE PLANET ZOK! I AM BEING FRAMED! _I AM THE KING!_"

There was a pause as the police stared at him.

"Yeah, he's Rupert Chill," the policeman said.

"Yep. Bring the wagon in, Charlie!" another one yelled.

But Rupert was insistent as they descended upon him.

"NO! LISTEN! I'LL PROVE IT! I'M DISGUISED! I'LL TAKE IT OFF!"

Rupert frantically tried to deactivate the disguise, but to no avail. The watch had been damaged.

"Come on, _come on_…," he hissed. "Stupid piece of… WHY WON'T THIS THING WORK?"

He was so busy trying to activate the device that he didn't notice it when a policewoman cuffed him.

"Come on, Chill, nice and easy," she said, dragging him away.

"NO! STOP! I WON'T LET THE EARTH POTENTATE WIN!"

But his pleas helped him not, and soon, he was being thrown into the police van and driven away, his demonic screams heard for miles around.

Calvin and the others watched him leave.

"Won't Earl and the others try to save him?" Hobbes asked.

"I shouldn't think so," Calvin replied. "Look."

The spaceship that loomed overheard hidden by a cloud cover suddenly zoomed away and vanished into the sky.

"Where are they going? They're just going to leave him?" Socrates asked.

"For now," Calvin replied. "But they're going to have to figure out their plan carefully. Earl knows that their plans rely on secrecy, and any rescue efforts may attract unwanted attention. They'll have to think a pretty big plan if they wish to get Rupert back."

"And we'll be ready for him," Hobbes said with a nod.

"And how."

"So…," said Andy. "What were we doing earlier?"

"I believe we were playing poker," Sherman said. "And I do believe I was winning."

"Sez you," Socrates sniffed.

"Mind if we get in on the next hand?" Calvin asked.

"Sure. Let's head home," said Andy.

"MTM, take us home, if you please?"

"Right on, dudes," MTM replied.

**_BRZAP!_**

And they vanished.

* * *

Later that night, Calvin was putting his pajamas on and was heading to bed.

"Well, Hobbes, it's been a busy day," he said.

"Yep," said Hobbes, who was brushing his fur. "But we pulled through."

"And with Retro destroyed and Rupert in jail, I think we may actually have some peace around here."

Hobbes put the brush down and gave him a funny look. "Seriously?" he asked.

Calvin smirked. "Nah… I doubt it. The universe is a big place. Who knows what other baddies and meanies are out there, waiting to tear us limb from limb?"

Hobbes grinned. "You sure about that?"

Calvin paused. "Before we fought, Retro said that I'd have enemies now. Enemies that we can't even imagine. We have to be ready for that possibility."

Hobbes nodded and mulled this over. "Well then, it's a good thing that we're both free to devote our lives to examining those interesting little problems which the complex life of the universe so plentifully presents."

Calvin gave a nod as they climbed into bed. They settled in, and Calvin turned the light off.

"Goodnight, Hobbes."

"Goodnight."

And soon, they were off to sleep.

**THE END**

**IN LOVING MEMORY OF JEREMY BRETT**

**1933 – 1995**

**Voice Work****:**

**Pamela Segall Adlon **Calvin

**Tom Hanks **Hobbes / Erne / Alex

**Ryan Stiles **Socrates / Biff / Carl

**Andrew Lawrence **Andy

**Colin Mochrie **Sherman / Alfred / Luke

**Norman Lovett **MTM

**Eric Roberts **Rupert Chill

**Tom Kenny **Earl / Lenny / Jay

**French Stewart **Zack

* * *

**Next: **Hear My Voice


	3. Hear My Voice

_written by Swing123 and Garfieldodie_

**Hear My Voice**

After the ordeal with ridding their lives of Holographic Retro and Rupert Chill, Calvin and Hobbes were enjoying a touch of normalcy for the first time in months. Calvin had returned to perfecting and fine-tuning his inventions. Hobbes was enjoying sleeping and stalking, and also was getting kicks out of nature documentaries on television.

In fact, it was during the middle of one of these documentaries that he noticed a very loud noise was emanating from their upstairs bedroom.

He was enjoying a scene during which he was watching a female tiger stalking through the jungle, and he was just thinking about how attractive she was, when he heard the noise.

**_"SCREEEEEEEEE!"_**

Hobbes leapt out of his seat and flipped in the air a few times before landing back in the chair upside-down.

"The heck…?" he mumbled, looking around.

**_"SCREEEEEEEEE!"_**

Once again, Hobbes went straight up into the air, flipped around, and now he landed on the floor.

"What is…?"

**_"SCREEEEEEEEE!"_**

He went up, flipped twice, flailing his claws around before he ended up grasping onto the ceiling, looking around, feeling very petrified.

"What is he doing?" he wailed.

Calvin was waving the Scream Horn around in his hand, trying to figure out if it was working properly.

"C'mon, c'mon…," he muttered.

He pressed the button again.

**_"SCREEEEEEEEE!"_**

He seemed unfazed by the loud noise.

"Hmmmm… I think that's about it…," he said. "Maybe just one more try…"

At that moment, Hobbes came into the room.

"Okay, what are you—?"

**_"SCREEEEEEEEE!"_**

The shockwaves sent Hobbes tumbling backwards and slammed him into the wall.

Calvin looked up and saw him, and he grinned sheepishly.

"Oh, hey, Hobbes," he said nervously.

Hobbes glared at him as he slid down the wall and landed gently on the floor.

"You're sleeping with one eye open tonight," he growled, dusting himself off. "What the heck are you doing?"

Calvin waved the Screen Horn around excitedly. "I've upgraded the Scream Horn. I'm trying to control how loud it gets. Imagine this little baby doing damage to whole cities!"

"Why would you want that? Our supermarket is in the city. Where would we get our vital supplies of chocolate cereal and tuna fish?"

"I'm only theorizing a plan. Don't worry. I have no plans of actually destroying a city."

He paused.

"Well, not yet, anyway."

Hobbes sighed.

"See, I want to get a volume control. So I added this knob to it."

Hobbes looked and was, indeed, able to see a small dial on the side of the Scream Horn that had to words written on opposite sides: MIN and MAX.

"Then what are you testing right now? It all sounds the same to me."

"That's the problem. I've been trying to get the different pitches working, but they've been the same. I'll have to scream into the horn to get all the right pitches recorded."

Hobbes thought about this.

"Wait, so that hideous shriek that comes out of this thing has always been your own voice?"

"Yep," Calvin replied, nodding.

"That explains everything."

Calvin glared at him before returning his attention to the horn. "Trouble is I'll have to make a recording of all the new pitches. Last time I only had to scream once to get the track."

"Wait… So…you're going to be constantly screaming into this thing?" Hobbes asked, worry etched into his fuzzy face.

"I'll have to," Calvin said with a shrug, flipping a switch on the Scream Horn. "Each scream will have to be louder than the last."

"Can't you just take the old scream and amplify it?"

"That wouldn't work as well. Trust me. This'll be fine."

And with that, Calvin held the Scream Horn up to his mouth and took a deep breath.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!" he shrieked.

Hobbes covered his ears in agony.

"How long are you going to have to do this?" he moaned.

Calvin shrugged. "However long it takes," he replied.

Hobbes whimpered.

Calvin must've heard him because he put the Scream Horn away.

"If it makes this any easier on you, I won't do it very frequently. Once an hour, on the hour. How's that sound?"

Hobbes sighed. "You'll effectively be swinging a lowering pendulum over my eardrums," he remarked.

"Call it what you will."

Hobbes, bound to resignation, shuffled out of the room.

"Why do I get the feeling the traffic by this house is going to be sparse for a few days?" he muttered.

The next morning, Calvin and Hobbes were asleep in bed. They had managed to sleep through the alarm clock.

Calvin's mother, however, was more effective as she burst in through the doorway.

"WAKE UP!" she shrieked. "HOW CAN YOU JUST SLEEP THROUGH YOUR ALARM?"

Calvin sat up in bed, blinking rapidly at the sudden light, before he gave a curt reply. "I think I may be going deaf," he muttered.

"GOING _DEAF_? WHAT COULD _POSSIBLY_ BE MAKING YOU GO DEAF?"

"Haven't a clue."

"GET DRESSED!"

And she slammed the door.

Calvin sighed inwardly as he stood on his bed and climbed into the top drawer, shutting it. Each drawer opened a little bit going down until finally, the bottom drawer opened, and he came out fully dressed, sans shoes.

As he put them on his feet, Hobbes rolled over sleepily in bed, pulling the sheets over himself.

"Ahh, elbow room," he sighed contentedly.

"Quiet, you," Calvin muttered grumpily, lacing his shoes.

Getting up, Calvin went over the corner of his room and shoved all his books into his backpack. He grabbed his jacket and slung it on and grabbed his bag.

Before leaving, he grabbed his Scream Horn off the desk.

"You're taking that with you?" Hobbes asked, drifting back to sleep.

"Why not? I can record some new screams while I'm there. I have a lot to cover."

"You're sure it's a good idea? I doubt your teacher is going to go easy on you for disrupting her class."

"Then I'll sneak off to the playground or something. I still need to update it all at least once an hour."

Hobbes was too tired to carry on the argument. "Whatever. Just be careful… _Zzzzz…_"

Calvin glared at his snoozing companion before leaving the room.

Calvin stood at the Bus Stop for awhile before Susie walked up.

"Hi, Calvin," she said pleasantly.

"Susie," he replied, staring straight ahead for a moment.

"Ready for school today?"

Calvin squeezed his eyes shut tight, willing her to suddenly be swallowed by the ground.

"What's that you've got?" she asked.

Calvin looked at the megaphone in his hand. "It's my Scream Horn. It needs work, so I'm taking it with me to school. I'm going to fix it during my free time."

"Scream Horn?"

"It's all very technical. Suffice to say that it makes a loud noise when you hold down on the button."

"Calvin, it's a megaphone. Of course it makes a loud noise."

"Ah, but I've managed to modify it to make an ear-shattering shriek. I need to make the new pitches a bit louder. It'll take a long time."

Susie stared at the megaphone unsurely. "I think I'll sit a few seats away from you, if that's alright."

"Probably for the best," Calvin agreed, not noting her real meaning. "It might go off accidentally."

Susie sighed.

Thankfully, the bus had pulled up, and she was able to get away from him for awhile.

Arriving at the school, Calvin waited a minute after everyone else had gone inside. Then, when he was certain no one was looking, he got the Scream Horn out and turned it on.

"Here we go," he said, and he took a deep breath.

"_SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!_" he roared.

With the scream data saved into the Horn, he tucked it away and went inside, clearing his throat momentarily as he went inside.

Calvin chucked the Scream Horn into his locker before going inside the classroom. He managed to get through an entire hour of math before he raised his hand.

"May I use the restroom?" he asked.

"Fine, but be quick about it," Miss Wormwood said.

"Back in a minute."

Calvin got up and sprinted out of the room. He made it to his locker and opened it up, grabbed the Scream Horn and headed for the restroom.

Banging his way inside, he was pleased to see no one was inside. He dove into one of the stalls and locked the door behind him.

"Let's see… A more enclosed space should make the sound come out better," he said to himself.

He flipped on the Scream Horn and leaned into the mouthpiece.

**"SCREEEEEEEEEEEE****!**" he shrieked.

Once he was sure he had it saved, he unlocked the door and opened.

There was a kindergartner staring at him with wide eyes.

Calvin locked eyes with him for a few moments.

"Er… Bad breakfast. Better now," he said, clearing his throat as he left.

Flushing the toilet for good measure, he quickly left the restroom.

The kindergartner stared at the toilet unsurely before he cautiously closed the door on the stall and moved to the next one.

Lunchtime rolled around about 11:00, and Calvin grabbed the Scream Horn with his lunch.

As he sat down at lunch, he noticed, as per usual, no one was sitting near him. And just like any school cafeteria, it was so loud you wouldn't have noticed if a bomb went off outside.

Putting the Scream Horn inside his empty lunch bag so no one would see it, he looked around and took a deep breath as he put his mouth inside the bag.

"_**SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE**_**_!_**" he screamed.

Once certain he had it right, he looked up from his bag and looked around.

The cafeteria had gone quiet, and everyone was looking at him.

Calvin stared at them all for a few moments.

"Uh… My gosh, there's a hair in my tuna! I'd better throw it away!" he said as loudly as he could.

He was surprised to find he couldn't go as loud as he usually could.

Clearing his throat, he got up and took the empty bag away, taking the Scream Horn out before he tossed it in the trashcan.

Recess was on an hour later at noon.

Calvin sat on the corner of the playground and labored a bit more with the Scream Horn. He was busily inspecting some of the circuitry when he noticed a shadow was falling over him. He looked around in confusion.

"Hmmm…," he wondered. "I wonder what the chances are that there's just a rain cloud over my head."

He dared to look up and saw Moe's ugly features glaring at him.

"Drat."

Moe sneered at him. "Whatcha got there, Twinky?" he grunted.

"Nothing of your concern, Moe," Calvin replied, tightening his grip on the Scream Horn.

"Really? Because it looks like a cool new toy."

"First of all, this isn't new. I've had it for awhile now. Second: this isn't a toy. It's something I made."

"Yeah? Lemme see it…"

"Hey! Keep back! You don't know what it's capable of!"

"Give it, Twinky."

It wasn't a request. It was a command.

And Calvin was all too aware of that. Still, he held it out of what he hoped was Moe's reach.

"Moe, it's already dangerous enough when I use it! Your using it would be _cataclysmic_."

Moe stopped reaching for a moment. "That's not even a word!" he snapped.

Calvin rolled his eyes and held it away. "I'm saying that you shouldn't use it!"

But Moe managed to snatch it away from him. "Ha! What a wimp!" he said, laughing stupidly.

"Moe, give it back! It's not yours, it's mine!"

"And you're giving it to me," Moe replied, as if speaking to a small child.

"You don't even know what it does!"

"Yeah? Well, let's find out."

Calvin realized that Moe had found the button, and horror welled up inside him.

"Moe, don't touch that!"

"Make me," Moe sneered.

Calvin, knowing there was now no stopping him, yelled to the whole of the playground: "**_COVER YOUR EARS!_**"

Everyone turned to look as Calvin closed his eyes and covered his ears, but Moe was oblivious as he pressed on the button.

**_SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!_**

The shockwaves shook the whole of the playground. Some kids were knocked over. They all held their ears frantically.

Moe was so stunned that he was knocked off his own feet, and he stared at the Scream Horn in his hand, terrified of it.

Calvin was trying to cancel out the sound of the Horn, but he saw the way Moe was holding it. He saw that the button was within his sights. As carefully as he could, he unplugged one ear so he could reach over and push it.

The noise ceased.

The following silence was just as deafening.

Calvin snatched the Scream Horn back from the stunned Moe.

"See? That's why you don't just take things that don't belong to you! What are you, some kind of wild animal?" he yelled without thinking.

For a moment, he was worried Moe would get angry and pummel him.

But then he saw the blank look on Moe's face, and he stared at him in confusion.

"Moe?" he asked cautiously.

But Moe didn't respond.

And then he realized what must've happened and he grinned.

"Moe, you're an overgrown puss-filled cold sore," he said steadily.

But Moe just stared at him. "What?"

Calvin shook his head and walked away. "Some people just don't listen," he sighed.

"What?" Moe asked again.

At the end of the school day, Calvin got off the bus and headed back up the walk towards his house. He coughed and cleared his throat as he walked. He rubbed his throat as he came up the door.

"_I'M HOME_!" he yelled.

**_WHAM!_**

Hobbes came sailing out of the door and collided with Calvin, and they both went flying into the yard.

Dazed, they both sat up and looked around.

Calvin, without missing a beat, started gathering up his belongings before he started talking.

"Hobbes, I try to respect your need to keep in touch with your animal roots, but really, one of these days, I'm going to smile like a hockey player because of you."

"Well, on the bright side, you'll always have a nice story to tell your kids one day."

Calvin sighed. "Yeah, I'm going to tell my kids all about the times their Uncle Hobbes came crashing into me every time I came through my own front door."

"Hey, I'd take that over the Ugly Duckling any night."

Entering the house, they headed upstairs towards their room.

"I think I've just about got the Scream Horn finished," Calvin said. "A few hours and I should be good to go."

Hobbes nodded, but he couldn't help but notice something.

"Are you feeling alright?" he asked.

"Of course not! You just mowed the lawn with me!"

"No, I mean your voice. It sounds a little scratchy."

Calvin set his books down on the desk as he thought about this.

"Really?" he asked, rubbing his throat again. "Huh. It has felt a bit off. Probably all this screaming I've been doing."

"You may want to lay off on the screaming until tomorrow," Hobbes suggested. "Maybe give your voice some time to recover."

"Nah, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I should be done before bedtime."

Calvin checked his watch.

"Oop! Speaking of which…"

He pulled the Scream Horn out of his backpack.

"Hold your ears."

Hobbes sighed and complied.

Calvin reared back and hollered again.

"**_SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!_**" he roared.

And as soon as that finished, he was suddenly bent over hacking and coughing.

Hobbes made a motion to try and help him, but Calvin waved him away.

"I'm fine," he hacked.

"You're sure? Because I'm pretty sure six-year-olds shouldn't have a smoker's cough."

"I said I'm _fine_!" Calvin insisted, clearing throat.

Hobbes couldn't help but smirk. "You sound like Eartha Kitt," he snickered.

Calvin glared at him.

The next morning, Calvin and Hobbes were once again snuggled up in bed again.

And once again, they managed to sleep through the alarm going off.

"_CALVIN, WAKE UP!_" Mom shouted from downstairs.

Calvin awoke with a start, but he tried hard to get back to sleep.

"_…good morning to you too, Mom…_," he muttered.

Or at least he tried to.

He was a little surprised when next to no sound came out of his mouth.

Rubbing his throat, he noticed there was a lot of pain there, and that got him awake a little faster.

He tried to say something, but it all came out as a bunch of feeble squeaks and gasps.

Panicking, he looked over at Hobbes, who was still asleep. He nudged him awake.

Hobbes' head came up drowsily. "Huh? Wha…?" he asked sleepily, looking around before seeing Calvin. "What do you want?" he demanded drowsily.

Calvin couldn't say anything, so he pointed at his throat.

"What?" Hobbes asked, getting impatient.

Calvin tried to demonstrate by speaking, but it all came out squeakily.

Hobbes quirked his eyebrows. "What are you saying? You can't speak?"

Calvin nodded frantically.

"My condolences. Goodnight." And Hobbes pulled the sheets over his head.

Calvin glared at him and pulled them back.

Hobbes sighed. "Well, what am _I _supposed to do about it?" he demanded. "Go get your parents! They'll be of more help."

Just because Hobbes was making a good point didn't mean Calvin couldn't be angry with him, and so he continued to glare at him a little longer before he headed downstairs.

Hobbes rolled his eyes and went back to sleep. "I swear, you just can't please anyone sometimes…," he sighed.

Calvin came downstairs, finding he was having some difficulty in breathing and swallowing. Growing slightly more worried, he walked over to the kitchen where Mom and Dad were having breakfast.

"Why aren't you dressed?" Mom demanded when she saw him.

Calvin pointed to his throat.

"What?"

Calvin sighed with frustration and pointed at his throat again.

"Calvin, just say what's wrong," Mom snapped, getting annoyed.

Taking a painful swallow, Calvin tried to speak, but once again, it was only a bunch of pitiful squeaks and gasps.

Mom rolled her eyes. "Go get dressed before the bus comes," she sighed.

Calvin groaned inwardly as he came closer to them, trying in vain to get the words out.

"I… _I can't ta… I can't ta… Talk… I can't…_," he squeaked in a throaty voice.

Mom and Dad looked at each other before looking at him.

"Maybe he just needs a drink," Dad said, getting up. "Hold on, Calvin, I'll get you some orange juice. It's good for the throat."

Calvin gave a nod. He normally didn't like orange juice, but he just wanted to be able to speak again.

Dad poured him a glass and handed it to him.

Calvin chugged it down as fast as he could, feeling the fluids wash around his inflamed throat. Once he depleted his cup, he cleared his throat rather feebly, and he tried hard to say something else.

"_I can't… I… I don't think… I can't…_," he struggled, but he felt frustration grow as the simple task of speaking was taken from him.

Mom sighed. "Well, maybe we'll have to take him to the doctor," she said. "I'll call the school."

Calvin whimpered pitifully.

Hours later, he sat on the examining table in the doctor's office. He was looking down his throat with a tongue depressor and a small flashlight.

"Yep, just as I thought," the doctor said. "A simple case of laryngitis is all it is."

"How could this have happened?" Mom asked.

"Could be many things, but I think this just a simple inflammation from the vocal chords being overused."

Mom stared at Calvin. "I'm surprised he went this long without catching it," she mused.

Calvin glared at her.

"Well, what should he do?"

"Well, it shouldn't be too bad. He's already had his tonsils out, so it shouldn't be life-threatening. I'd recommend a bit of rest, a couple days off school, drink lots of water, avoid dairy products because they coat the vocal chords, and create phlegm."

At this, Calvin couldn't help but grin largely.

"Ohh dear," Mom sighed. "I'll have to saran wrap the whole house."

Later that day, Calvin was back at him, resting in bed, hoping his voice would return sooner or later. Hobbes was loyally at his side, reading a comic book.

It was around that moment that they heard someone knocking at the window.

They looked up and saw Socrates grinning away and looking inside.

"You want me to let him in?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin shrugged and waved him away.

Hobbes went over and opened up the window.

"Hey, Hobbo! Cally, my man! What is up?" Socrates asked, sliding through.

Calvin just stared at him.

"Come on, Calvin. No stinging retort?" he continued, grinning.

"He can't talk," Hobbes said. "He has laryngitis."

"Laryngitis?"

"Yeah, he got it from screaming his head off into his Scream Horn so that he could upgrade it. It may say something for his dedication, but other than that, it was a dumb thing to do."

Calvin glared at him and started writing frantically on a notepad with a pencil.

Hobbes and Socrates watched him for a little while.

Finally, Calvin held it up, and they looked at what it said.

_SHUT UP, HOBBES_

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"What's all this?" Socrates asked.

"His mom gave it to him. It's his new way of talking to the outside world."

"Ooh, the Helen Keller routine," Socrates grinned.

Calvin glared at him. He began erasing what was on the pad, wrote something new down, and held up the pad again.

_SHUT UP, SOCRATES_

Socrates felt a grin come across his again. "Make me," he sneered.

Calvin glared at him.

Hobbes sighed. "And here we go…," he muttered.

* * *

Hobbes sat on Calvin's bed, reading one of his new comic books.

Calvin had been downstairs all day watching TV and so far that's how the whole day had been going.

Suddenly, the door opened and Calvin came walking in.

Hobbes looked up.

"Hi, Calvin." He said, boredly.

Calvin glared at Hobbes and jabbed a finger at his comic book.

Hobbes didn't notice.

Calvin stormed over to his desk and grabbed his notepad.

He scribbled on it madly and walked over to his bed where he shoved the pad into Hobbes' face.

_PUT THE COMIC BOOK DOWN_

Hobbes sighed.

"Alright, alright, no need to get fussy."

Hobbes put the book away.

"So what happened to watching TV?" He asked, casually.

Calvin flipped the page on his notepad and wrote something else and showed it to Hobbes.

_THE SATTELITE WENT OUT. I'M WAITING FOR DAD TO FIX IT._

"Ah, so what the plan of action until then?"

Calvin shrugged.

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

Suddenly, there came a knock at the window.

Calvin and Hobbes looked around.

Socrates was sitting on the window sill grinning at them like a lunatic.

"Why he can't he just use the door?" Hobbes moaned.

Calvin shook his head with disgust and turned away.

Hobbes got up and opened the window.

"Hobbo! Epic news!" Socrates grinned, somersaulting into the room.

"Oh God," Hobbes sighed.

"I've devised a new plan for the upcoming zombie apocalypse!"

Hobbes stared at him.

"Another one?" He sighed. "Socrates, you've revising this big plan for years."

"Hey, we can't be too careful!" Socrates said, shaking his finger at Hobbes. "Besides, this one is fool proof!"

Calvin shoved his note pad into Socrates' face.

_THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT THE LAST FIFTEEN YOU CAME UP WITH!_

Socrates stuck his tongue out at Calvin and pulled a bunch of blueprints from his pocket.

"OK, so when the first outbreaks start in our city, I'll gather together you guys, Elliot, Andy and Sherman and we'll take up temporary residence at Brown's General Store." Socrates explained. "From there we'll stack up on supplies and Calvin can just use MTM to blast away any zombies that get close to us."

"If I may interrupt," MTM suddenly cut in, who was sitting on the desk next to the blueprints.

"Yes, MTM?" Socrates said, trying to sound professional.

Calvin and Hobbes rolled their eyes.

"Yes, has it ever crossed your mind that if a zombie apocalypse ever started, I could just turn my force field on over this entire property?"

There was a moment of silence.

"Well, yeah, I guess…." Socrates shrugged. "But where's the thrill in that?"

"You get to stand on the front porch and tease the zombies," Hobbes said.

Calvin nodded and grinned.

"Yeah, well, this is our backup plan!" Socrates said, stiffly. "And what do we do when we run out of food? Then we have to get more."

"Yes and that's why I just happen to be equipped with a teleporter, that brings us whatever we need." MTM said.

There was another pause.

"And what about when your all too scarce battery power fails and the force field goes down?" Socrates then pointed out, desperate for a way to use his plan.

"Set me in a window, where my solar panels will keep me charged." MTM said.

Silence.

"What about on cloudy days?" Socrates asked finally.

"Socrates," Hobbes sighed.

"Hey, it could happen!"

"What, the cloudy days or the zombie apocalypse?" MTM asked.

Socrates grunted and put the blueprints away.

"So how's Cally?" He said, changing the subject. "Can you talk yet?"

Calvin glared murderously at Socrates.

Socrates remained unfazed.

"Well, I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but precious hamster down the block just finished up a speech simulator. Supposedly it can read your mind and repeat what you're thinking. Thought you'd be interested."

Calvin stared at Socrates for a long moment.

He then took his notepad and started writing on it.

He held it up Socrates' face.

_HOW THE HECK DO YOU KNOW THIS?_

Socrates looked at Calvin, offended.

"Why, Calvin, I'm shocked. I thought you knew that Sherman and I were the best of buds! We go way back! I mean can't you remember the time we…."

"You still have those stupid security cameras set up everywhere, don't you?" Hobbes said, glaring at the cat.

Socrates crossed his arms.

"Well, my good friend, when the inevitable zombie apocalypse hits our quaint little town, you'll be thanking me for all those 'stupid security cameras'!"

Calvin and Hobbes heaved deep sighs.

"So are we going to go get it for Calvin?" Hobbes asked.

"Nope, we can't." Socrates said.

There was a pause.

"…..Why?" Hobbes asked.

"Because he needs it to talk with his buddy scientists that don't speak English," Socrates nodded.

There was a long moment of silence.

Calvin grabbed hold of Socrates' fur and screamed angrily into his face, however, nothing came out but a faint whisper.

"Then why the heck did you tell us this in the first place?" He managed to gasp, causing his throat to throb.

"Because we can use it to communicate with the zombies!" Socrates grinned excitedly. "It will open up all new possibilities for finding a cure!"

At this point, Calvin could no longer see anything but a curtain of red.

The next thing Socrates knew, he was lying face first in the front yard.

_Stupid cat_, Calvin thought to himself sitting back on the bed, while Hobbes rolled his eyes and went back downstairs.

* * *

Later that day, things were going essentially the same as they were before. Calvin was reading a comic book in his room and Hobbes was downstairs taking a nap in the sun.

Suddenly the very distinct sound of the doorbell was heard throughout the house.

Calvin didn't move, expecting Hobbes or Mom to get it.

A few seconds past.

The doorbell rang again.

Calvin looked up.

The doorbell rang again.

Calvin got out his notepad.

_HOBBES, GO GET THE DOOR!_

And with that written down he stood up and walked out of his room and searched for Hobbes from the top of the stairs.

Upon spotting him laying in the sun fast asleep, Calvin took a step back hurled the notepad as hard as he could at the snoozing feline.

SMACK!

"OW!"

Hobbes sprung up, holding his head in pain as the notepad fell at his feet.

Rubbing his temple, he looked back and forth between Calvin and the notepad.

"The heck did you do that for?" He demanded.

Calvin closed his eyes, searching for patience.

DING DONG!

Hobbes' gaze then turned to the front door.

He looked down at the notepad.

"Oh…" he said, sleepily. "Of course,"

He then stood up and shuffled over to the door.

He spent a few seconds looking for the doorknob, then finally opened it.

He stared outside for a long moment.

"There's no one here," He said, finally.

"I'm down here, you simpleton!" Came a sharp voice.

Hobbes looked down.

Sherman was standing on the porch, wearing his tiny lab coat, glaring at Hobbes indignantly.

Hobbes stared at him for a long time.

"How the heck did you ring the doorbell?" He asked, finally.

"Never mind. I need to talk with Calvin." Sherman said, walking in.

"Huh. Well, you have fun with that." Hobbes yawned, closing the door, and shuffling back to his place in the sun.

Sherman shook his head in disgust and walked up to the base of the stairs, where he spotted Calvin staring down at him.

"There you are, Calvin!" He called up to him. "I'm performing an experiment in interdimensional physics and I need you to help with the initial break entrance between this world and the void."

Calvin pointed at his throat.

Sherman stared at him.

"Really, I just need you to tell me what equipment I need to open a portal." He said.

Calvin pointed at his throat, again, rather more forcefully.

Sherman's eyebrows sank.

"Calvin, I really don't have time for this. Do you have the stuff I need?" He sighed.

Calvin began jabbing his fingers at his throat in desperation.

"I'm afraid I'm not big on charades, Calvin." Sherman said.

Calvin's eyes rolled into the back of his head.

He stormed down the stairs and over to Hobbes, who had fallen back asleep by this time.

He snatched his notepad up from the ground, and began scribbling on it.

He then stormed back over to Sherman and shoved it in his face.

_I CAN'T TALK!_

Sherman stared at the message.

Then he glared back up at Calvin.

"This is just an excuse not to tell me what to use, isn't it?" He said, finally.

Calvin stared at Sherman blankly.

* * *

"So you see, the key to total zombie defeat is to remember the one simple rule!" Socrates was explaining to Andy as they walked down the sidewalk. "They don't fear you, so why should you fear them?"

Andy thought about that for a moment.

"Because they're scary looking," He said, finally.

Socrates blinked.

"You've raised a fair point," He nodded. "But the fact still remains."

"Can we stop by Calvin's house on the way back home?" Andy asked, suddenly. "I need to pick up those comic books I lent him last week."

"Righto!" Socrates grinned. "Say did you hear that Calvin lost his voice? Now he can't drink milk or eat any kind of dairy product."

"Really? How'd he do that?"

"By screaming," Socrates grinned.

Andy rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. You can go ahead and wait here. I won't be but a minute."

"Oh no, I need to come in to," Socrates said.

"Why?" Andy asked.

"Just cuz."

"Oh god…."

Andy rang the doorbell.

There was a moment of silence and then Calvin answered the door.

He mouthed Andy's name in greeting and stepped aside so he could come in.

"Hey Calvin, I'm just here to pick up those comic books," Andy said, strolling in.

"Calvin, my man!" Socrates yelled, holding his arms out in greeting "How are…."

**_SLAM!_**

Before Socrates could come in, Calvin closed the door in his face and lead Andy upstairs.

There was a moment of silence.

_DING DONG!_

This time, Hobbes walked up to the door and opened it.

"Hobbo, my man!" Socrates yelled, holding his arms out in greeting. "How are you as of this present time?"

"Tired." Hobbes mumbled.

"That's great!" Socrates said, walking in. "I'm going to go grab something real quick!"

And with that he rushed off into the kitchen.

Hobbes shrugged, closed the door and went back to his napping spot.

A few minutes later, Calvin and Andy came back down the stairs with Andy carrying a small stack of comic books in his hands.

"So your voice is expected to come back tomorrow morning, huh?" He said, casually.

Calvin nodded.

"And it doesn't hurt at all? Or is it only when you talk?"

Calvin nodded.

"Well, just as long as you avoid stress for the next few hours of the day, everything should be…." Andy's voice trailed off as he looked in front of him at the kitchen table.

Calvin looked up.

Socrates was sitting at the table hysterically chugging down the whole jug of milk and in front of him were at least ten cups of yogurt, an entire carton of ice-creme and three or four blocks of cheese.

Calvin's eyes rolled into the back of his head.

It was then that Socrates spotted them.

"Oh hi, Calvin, ol' buddy!" He grinned. "I'm just looking out for your health and well being! Someone needs to get rid of all your dairy-consuming temptations!"

Calvin and Andy exchanged glances.

"Your about to become violent, aren't you?" Andy asked.

Calvin nodded.

"Alright. I'll wait outside."

Calvin nodded and waved goodbye to Andy as he walked out the door.

He then turned back to the kitchen.

Interestingly enough, Socrates had disappeared along with the rest of the dairy products from the fridge.

Probably a smart move.

* * *

Later on, very shortly before bedtime, Calvin was sitting on his bed reading a comic book.

It had been fairly quiet for the rest of the day and Calvin was enjoying the peace.

So far this whole time, MTM had been sitting on the desk beside Calvin and had been silent, but suddenly he made his presence known and spoke.

"Say, Calvin, I just had a thought."

Calvin looked up.

"Just a little suggestion but since I'm able to read other people's mind waves, I could in theory act as your voice for the rest of the night if you'd like me to,"

Calvin's eyes popped open and he grinned.

"Sounds good? Very good, then. We'll experiment." MTM said as if nodding.

Suddenly, and right on cue, Hobbes came walking into the room.

"Hi Calvin," He said, boredly. "How's you're voice doing?"

"Well, I still can't talk can I?" MTM said.

Hobbes stopped.

"What?" He asked.

"I said, I still can't talk, so why the heck are you asking me if I can?" MTM said.

"You are talking." Hobbes said, his brow furrowing.

"No I'm not, the MTM is," MTM said.

"You are the MTM." Hobbes said, starting to get a little worried.

"No I'm not, I'm Calvin! Are you telling me you can't tell me apart from the MTM?" MTM demanded.

Hobbes paused for a moment.

"I'm going to leave now." He said, finally, walking out of the room.

Calvin turned a giant grin onto the MTM.

"I agree," MTM said. "A complete and total success,"

* * *

Very shortly after that, it was bedtime.

Calvin was already snuggled up in bed when Hobbes came up and crawled in next to him.

"YAWN, goodnight Calvin," He mumbled under his breath.

"Goodnight, Hobbes," MTM said.

Hobbes rolled his eyes and pulled the covers up to his head.

There was a moment of silence.

Suddenly, Calvin rolled over.

"Hobbes! Stop hogging the covers," MTM said.

Hobbes' eyes squeezed shut.

* * *

Calvin's eyes fluttered open as the morning sunlight crept into the bedroom.

He looked around.

Everything appeared to be normal.

He checked beside him to see Hobbes quietly snoozing.

He sat up.

He felt his neck up and down and cleared his throat.

"Ahem... test...one two three..." He said in a slightly hoarse voice.

He cleared his throat again.

"Test two..." He said in a more clearer voice.

He grinned.

"Hey Hobbes! Guess what?" He said, turning to Hobbes.

"Oh, I couldn't imagine," Hobbes said, his eyes getting tighter closed.

"My voice is back!"

"Good for you." Hobbes mumbled, still refusing to open his eyes.

"And there's something I need to do before I say anything else!" Calvin said, jumping off the bed.

"Mmph." Hobbes grunted.

Calvin rushed over to his desk and pulled the scream horn out of the drawer.

He switched the microphone on, held it up to his mouth and took a deep breath in.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"

Hobbes leapt from the covers and hit his head on the ceiling as the ear piercing screech filled the room.

Mom and Dad's eyes burst open at the sound coming from Calvin's bedroom.

"I see he got his voice back," Dad said.

"Darn," Mom grumbled, rolling over and attempting to get back to sleep.

Hobbes lay in a heap on the floor with the covers over his head while Calvin pushed a couple of buttons on the Scream Horn and set it down on his desk.

"The heck was that for?" Hobbes demanded.

"I'm done," Calvin grinned. "That was the last time I needed to scream into it."

Hobbes stared at Calvin for a long moment.

"Really?" He asked.

"Really," Calvin replied.

"And you weren't the least worried that you screaming into that thing again right after getting your voice back would cause you to lose it again?" Hobbes demanded.

"Nope." Calvin said, shaking his head.

"You're unbelievable." Hobbes sighed.

"Yep." Calvin nodded.

There was a moment of silence.

"So what now?" Hobbes asked.

"I have something else I need to do real quick," Calvin said as if just remembering, walking over to the MTM. "MTM. Activate telporter."

"What for?" MTM asked.

"I need to test the new Scream Horn out."

"Righto," MTM said.

* * *

"Ah, what a lovely day!" Socrates yelled, throwing his curtains open to allow the sun in. "A day filled with TV and bugging Calvin! I should get started now!"

And with that, he raced down the stairs and sat down with his usual breakfast, which interestingly enough would feed everyone Socrates knows.

He inhaled every bowl of cereal and piece of pizza that was laid out before him, and ran off to the front door.

Suddenly he stopped just short of opening it.

"Wait," He said to himself. "Before I head off to say good morning to Calvin, I should take a moment to pity him in his situation of illness and discomfort."

Socrates stood up straight for a moment, hung his head, closed his eyes, and put his hands together.

He stayed like this for a whole of five seconds.

"Alrighty then, that should do it!" He yelled, his neck coming up so fast, it cracked. "Time to go entertain him, now!"

And with that, he flung the door open.

_**!**_

Suddenly, the sound of a thousand Calvins screaming like gut wrenched banshees hit Socrates like a freight train.

The force sent him hurling off his feet and tumbling several feet backward along with whatever else was in its way.

Calvin was standing on the front porch holding the Scream Horn at the front door with a bored expression on his face.

He reached up and switched it off.

"Yep, it works," He nodded with satisfaction.

And with that, the MTM beeped, there was a flash of light and Calvin disappeared.

Socrates lie in a heap on the floor staring up at the ceiling.

Then he sat up and looked around at the damage around the house. Luckily it was minor and easily fixable.

He stood up and brushed himself off, not seeming to have to have been affected by the blast whatsoever.

He tapped his chin for a second and thought.

"Okay, so Calvin's off the hit list for today," He decided finally. "On to my backup target! Sherman's been kinda lonely lately!"

And with that, he raced out the door, laughing his head off.

Really, there are times when Socrates is just plain scary.

**The End**

**Voice work**

**Pamela Segal Adlon **Calvin  
**Tom Hanks** Hobbes  
**Ryan Stiles** Socrates  
**Andrew Lawrence** Andy  
**Colin Mochrie** Sherman  
**Norman Lovett** MTM  
**Jennifer Love Hewitt** Mom  
**Bill Murray** Dad  
**Tom Kenny **Doctor


	4. Dark Laughter P1

_Written by Garfieldodie and Swing123_

**Dark Laughter  
Part One  
**

"Okay, Calvin, just remember to behave yourself," Dad said from behind the wheel of the car.

"Yeah, sure, whatever, are we there yet?" Calvin said, looking eagerly out of the window.

"We only agreed to come here because your grades have been improving," Mom said, leaning against the window with her elbow.

"Yeah, sure, whatever, are we there yet?"

"And remember to keep that paper bracelet on when they give it to you. It's the only way you'll get on the rides."

"Yeah, sure, whatever, are we there yet?"

Mom and Dad looked at each other before glancing at Calvin in the rearview mirror.

"And when we get home, we want you to untie the aliens in the attic and let them run lose in the yard for a little while," Dad said.

"Yeah, sure, whatever, are we there yet?"

Dad rolled his eyes and focused on the road.

They drove up to the main gate, where a man in uniform unlocked it and allowed them entry. They drove slowly around the parking lot and searched for a space amongst the rows of cars.

"Boy, this place is very popular," Mom remarked.

"What do you expect?" Dad grumbled. "A whole bunch of hicks and yahoos like cheap fun, and at five bucks for admission, they come from far and wide just to get some cheap thrills."

"Oh, hush."

Finally, Dad found a space and pulled the car in.

"Okay, we're here. Everybody out," he said, removing his seatbelt.

Everyone unbuckled and got out of the car, Calvin grabbing Hobbes and carrying him out as well.

"Oh boy!" Calvin said excitedly. "Come on! Let's get our tickets!"

He ran off ahead of his parents, his tiger draped over his shoulder.

Mom and Dad walked behind him.

"You know, I could be doing yard work right now," Dad muttered.

"Dear…"

"I could out there right now, mowing the lawn, working up a sweat and building character, but what am I doing instead? I'm going to some pathetic attraction that was probably built out of a kit."

"Dear, we're here to have a good time," Mom said assuringly, patting his shoulder. "Just try to act like you have a sense of humor."

"Hmph."

Calvin and Hobbes were already waiting eagerly at the ticket counter waiting for two more people to get their tickets.

"Come on! What's taking you so long? Have you got a printing press back there _making _the tickets?"

The customers ignored him.

"Calvin, calm down. We'll get in there when we get in there," Mom said coming up behind.

Calvin grumbled and clutched Hobbes tighter.

Seconds ticked away, and they waited and waited.

Finally, the two customers in front had their paper bracelets and walked away.

"At last!" Calvin cried, dodging forward and clinging to the front ticket booth, startling the old lady behind the glass window. "Tickets! Gimme!"

"Calvin…," Mom said, taking him down.

Dad approached the teller. "Three, please: two adults and one child."

The teller rang up the total on a cash register.

"That'll be $55," she said.

Dad's eyes widened. "What? That's a bit pricey, isn't it?"

"It's $25 for adults and $5 for children," she said with a shrug.

"Come on, Dad! Get the tickets!" Calvin cried.

Dad sighed. "Fine…," he said, reaching into his wallet and pulling out a credit card.

"Uh, no credit cards, please," the teller said.

Dad stared. "Excuse me?"

"We don't take credit cards."

"Why not?"

"We don't have a machine."

"But… Then what will you take?"

"We accept cash."

"What about a check?"

"No. Sorry."

"But I don't have $55 in cash!"

"Then I guess you can't come in."

"Dad, come on!" Calvin complained. "Don't you have _any _cash?"

Dad rooted through his wallet. "Let's see…," he mumbled. "I have…on me…$22…and…forty-two cents."

"That's still not enough," Mom mumbled.

"It's enough for just _me_ to get in!" Calvin said brightly.

"Calvin, we're not letting you in there without some sort of adult supervision."

"Oh, come on, what could happen to me?"

"It's the other people we're worried about," Dad replied, going through his pockets.

Calvin grumbled.

"Dear, how much do you have?"

Mom sighed and dug through her purse and pulled out a small wad of cash.

"Let's see…fifteen…no…twenty-five…$25…and seventy-two cents," she said.

"But that's…," Dad paused to count that out mentally. "That's still at least $3 short!"

"I have an idea," Calvin said. He faced the teller. "Ma'am? If we cut off one of Dad's legs and left it behind, would it be enough to get in?"

"No…," the teller said, looking rather amused.

"Calvin, I don't suppose _you_ have any money, do you?" Dad asked.

Calvin looked aghast. "Dad, there's no need to go to such absurd lengths! Maybe _you _should just get a better job!"

"Calvin, do you want to go in or not?"

Calvin stared for a moment before scowling and reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small wad of bills. "Let's see…," he mumbled. "I have about…$5."

"That's more than enough! See? You'll have a few dollars leftover!"

"But I was _saving _it!"

"Calvin…"

Sighing, Calvin reluctantly handed over his cash, and Dad handed the wad of bills and pile of coins to the teller.

While they waited for her to add it all up, they all stood there, shifting awkwardly.

"…Do you think I should grow a mustache?" Dad asked, looking at his reflection in the teller's window.

Mom stared at him. "Don't feel it's necessary to make conversation, dear," she said.

Dad sighed and shook his head.

Finally, they relieved to hear the sound of the cash register ringing as it slid open.

"Alright, there you go, folks," she said, handing them back their change. "Young man, step right up and I'll give you your bracelet. You'll need this to get on the rides."

"Yes!" Calvin cheered, sticking his hand out.

The teller took the bracelet off the roll of them, and she wrapped it around his wrist.

"There you are. Now you, ma'am," she said.

Mom approached and held out her hand. While the teller was putting it on her wrist, Calvin looked past the booth and stared with wonderment at the sight before him.

It was a theme park. It was full of huge rides, including a Ferris wheel that stretched up several feet into the air, a midway with lots of snacks for sale, a dunking tank, a huge rollercoaster, and several small wooden buildings that lined the various stalls.

Over them was a huge sign that stood on two strong poles in the ground. It was painted purple with huge gold letters painted on the front:

**HALLOWEEN****PARK**

**SCARIEST RIDES IN THE COUNTRY**

Grinning widely, he glanced at Hobbes, who was looking around unsurely.

"You okay, buddy?" he asked.

"Yeah…yeah, sure," Hobbes said nervously. "I'm just a little… I mean, it's a Halloween park, so it might be a bit…you know…_scary_."

"Exactly! That's the whole point! Who knows? This might be good for you."

"Good for me?"

"We all of the universe have our own terrors to face. This is a good chance for you to face your fears!"

"Right…right…sure."

"Well, it wouldn't hurt you to—"

"Calvin?"

Calvin turned around and saw Mom and Dad standing over him with their bracelets on.

"Are you ready?"

"You bet! Come on, Hobbes!"

Picking Hobbes up off the ground, Calvin headed into the park.

"Calvin, don't run off too far!" Mom called out.

"I won't! Don't worry!"

And Calvin promptly ran around one of the stalls and vanished.

Mom and Dad sighed.

"Well, this trip seems to be off to an interesting time," Dad muttered.

"Come on… Let's not lose sight of him," Mom said, tugging at his arm.

They headed towards the corner Calvin had disappeared behind and went around it, but by the time they got there, their son and his stuffed tiger were long gone.

"Great…," Dad sighed. "Let's start looking for him."

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes wandered around the theme park, looking around eagerly at all the rides and attractions.

"Okay, Hobbes, remember: you have nothing to fear but fear itself," Calvin said assuringly.

"Yeah, yeah, sure…," Hobbes said. "What precisely does fear look like?"

"Well, fear has no true form, I would expect. We all have different interpretations of it."

"I see, and what makes you think what I interpret as fear isn't actually fear? Don't I have the right to consider all these rides to be fearful?"

Calvin sighed and headed towards another ride.

"Come on, let's go on the Tilt-a-Whirl."

"Which ride is that?"

"The Tilt-a-Whirl is just us sitting in a small compartment that goes round in a big circle with the other compartments, and our own compartment swings around sharply going up and down along the way."

"Oh…okay, yeah, that sounds alright."

"Good. Come on."

Calvin and Hobbes headed over and got in line for the ride. They looked at the ride, which was in motion at the moment.

The compartments that were swinging around looked like giant skulls, and everyone was sitting in the jaws. There was demonic laugh coming from speakers hooked up to either side of the skulls.

Hobbes whimpered slightly.

"On second thought, I hear the distant cry of a dart-throwing competition. I'll try that instead," he said, starting to walk away.

"Hey, hey, hey," Calvin said, grabbing his tail and ragging him back. "You have to come with me. Otherwise I'll get stuck sitting next to some creepy adult who wants to sell me a 'Schmolex'."

The ride stopped moving and people started to get off and leave.

The carnie unlocked the gate and allowed the next few people through, Calvin included.

Calvin ran along the ride and searched for a completely empty compartment, dragging Hobbes along behind.

"Come on, come on, we've gotta find one before any lousy adults take it."

"Don't we have to ride with an adult? You're under six."

"You count as an adult, don't you?"

"What kind of self-respecting carnie would allow a ferocious man-eating beast to ride with a small child alone? They'd pair you off with a human adult to ensure that you are protected."

"You think some stranger would protect me from you?"

"No, I'd spend most of my time eating him first."

"Well, it's all a moot point, because you're terrified of the ride in the first place."

"…This is true."

Then Calvin spotted an empty skull head right in front of him. Grinning excitedly, he grabbed Hobbes and headed for it, jumping inside and pulling the safety bar down.

"Okay, hang on tight!" he said. "This is gonna be great!"

Just then, the demonic laughter rang out the loudspeakers.

"**_MUAH-HAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAA!_**"

"Yeah, right," Hobbes muttered.

The attendants made sure that everyone was in the ride correctly, and then they started up the ride.

A loud mechanical whirring noise started up from under the metal floor, and the compartment wobbled slightly as it started to move.

"Here we go!" Calvin cheered.

Hobbes tightened his grip on the safety bar.

Everything started to slide to the right, and suddenly, the world spun around with a metal squeak in the opposite direction.

The compartment, cackling away electronically, traveled upwards and then downwards, swinging the two friends around, slowly at first, and then faster and faster. They span around and round, watching the world blur past them.

"Woo-hoo! Isn't this great, Hobbes?" Calvin cried, trying to hang onto safety bar, sliding around on the bench.

"Yeah, great! How much longer is this ride?"

"Probably a minute and a half."

Hobbes groaned as he slid around as well, feeling his stomach slam against his back as he was swung around sharply again.

* * *

Mom and Dad wandered around the park, trying to find Calvin.

"There's no sign of him anywhere," Mom said, looking around the crowds of people.

"Maybe he's on one of the rides," Dad suggested, looking up at the huge metal structures.

Mom glanced around at a few of the stalls. She saw one that was covered up like a tent, and it had the sign over it:

**FORTUNE TELLING**

"Maybe he's hiding in there," she suggested. "Let's take a peek."

Dad shrugged and they headed towards the tent, drawing back the flap and looking inside.

The place smelled of incense. There were charms and candles everywhere. In the middle of it all was a woman with a turban and had a mole above her lip. She smiled, showing her yellowy teeth. A crystal ball sat before her.

"Greetings," she said in a clichéd accent. "Would you like to have your fortune told?"

"No, actually, we're looking for our son," Mom said. "Have you seen him?"

"A small blonde boy, perchance? One in red and black and with a feline friend?"

"Yes, that's him! Have you seen him?"

"No, I have not."

Mom and Dad stared at her.

"But…you know what he looks like. You must've seen him."

"Not here, but in here," she corrected, tapping the crystal ball.

Dad rolled his eyes. "Look, we're not up for having our fortune told. We just want to find our son."

"You shall find him, I'm sure," the fortune teller assured him. "But you must beware him."

"Yes, we're aware of his reputation," Dad sighed, making to leave.

"And yet, you do not know him at all."

That stopped Dad where he stood, halfway out of the tent. He paused and turned around again.

"I'm sorry?"

The fortune teller smiled dubiously. "You only see what you choose to see, and you see only the negative in your son's persona. You are blind to what he sees."

"What are you talking about?"

"Your boy can see much more than others. He can see life in places we ignore. He listens to those we don't notice. He can bend all of time and space to help another. He must be ready…"

"What the heck is wrong with you?" Dad demanded, growing wary.

"What do you mean? Ready for what?" Mom asked.

"They are far away still…and yet they are coming… They come for the tail… They will arrive…"

Growing nervous, Mom and Dad turned and fled the tent. They stumbled through the flaps and back into the daylight. They stared ahead for a few moments.

"Well…," Dad said, regaining his composure, "…that was clearly a waste of time."

"Huh?" Mom asked, glancing at him. "Er, right, waste of time…"

They stood there for a few moments, watching the people walk past.

"Hungry?" Dad asked at last.

"Yes! Yes… Let's go…"

They walked away shakily.

* * *

Calvin rolled his eyes, watching Hobbes with his head down in the trashcan, making loud and unpleasant noises.

"Hobbes, you are the only person I know who can make bumper cars seem like a whaling expedition," he complained. "You're such a baby sometimes!"

Hobbes slowly brought his head up and glared at him. "Bumper cars are fine," he growled, "when there aren't ghosts constantly flying down in your face!"

"They were _paper_ and on _fishing line_!"

"They just kept coming!"

And then Hobbes went into another coughing fit and went back down in the trashcan.

"Not feeling any better?" Calvin asked, sighing again.

"I would expect not," Hobbes said without looking up. "You jammed a candy wrapper in my mouth."

"Well, I had to! It was the only way to get you to stop screaming in my ear!"

"Eugh…"

Calvin waited a little longer, looking around the people.

"Boy, these fairs sure draw some weird crowds," he remarked.

Then he saw someone approaching him in the distance, and his stomach plummeted downwards.

It was Moe and his gang.

Calvin gulped. "Speaking of which…," he mumbled. "Hobbes?"

"What?" Hobbes moaned, finally coming out.

"We need to find Mom and Dad really fast."

"Why?"

"Moe's coming!"

Hobbes looked and saw Moe instantly.

"Uh-oh," he muttered. "Maybe we should get out of here."

"And quickly, before he sees us!"

Hobbes managed to turn and hide behind a food stand nearby.

Calvin made to follow him, but he heard a voice behind him.

"Hey, Twinky!"

He winced and slowly turned around, forcing a nervous smile onto his face.

"Moe…," he said warily.

Moe laughed nastily and approached him.

"Surprised to see you here, Twinky," he said. "I'd think these rides were too scary for you."

Calvin glared. "Why would they be too scary for me?"

"Well, you're just a little twerp, and there's all sorts of monsters around here."

"So? I don't mind monsters. Personally, I believe you to be more frightening than any of them."

"Is that so?" Moe snarled, rolling up his sleeve.

Calvin stood his ground. "Indeed, so I don't have to be afraid of anything. I've battle ghosts and goblins of all sorts."

Moe stopped and stared at him. Then a sickly smile slid across his face.

"So you're an expert at handling ghosts?" he asked.

"Yeah… Why?"

"Then…maybe you wouldn't mind going into the Fun House?"

"Where?"

Moe pointed, and Calvin followed the point over towards a building a short ways behind them. It was sectioned off from the rest of the fair, and the front door read: CLOSED FOR REPAIRS.

"What's wrong with the Fun House?" Calvin asked.

"It's haunted, that's what," Moe grinned.

Calvin stared for a moment. "And you want me to go inside?"

"Yep."

"Well…I suppose I could…," he said thoughtfully. "It may be a bit difficult. They probably won't let me in."

"Then why don't you come back here at midnight?" Moe asked teasingly.

" Midnight?"

"Yeah, sneak out of your house at midnight and come down here when no one's looking!"

"You expect me to sneak out of my house on a school night just to come down here and see if there are ghosts in the Fun House?"

"Yeah."

"…Okay, and then what?"

Moe's grin slid off his face. He hadn't expected that.

"What?"

"After I get to the Fun House, what precisely am I supposed to do? Just stand there?"

"Uh…"

"To be perfectly honest, Moe, you're not making a very good case here."

"Look, you _have _to do it!" Moe yelled, frustrated. "If you don't, then you're a sissy girl!"

Calvin stared at him for a few seconds.

"Really? That's your best argument? That's pretty weak."

"You're a girl!" Moe insisted.

Calvin sighed. "Fine, Moe, I'll indulge you this one occasion. I'll accept your challenge and brave the almost nonexistent dangers ahead."

"…What?"

"I'll do it, you moron!"

Moe glared. "You'd better."

And with that, Moe and his gang stalked away.

Calvin rolled his eyes and looked around.

"Hobbes?"

"Yo."

Calvin turned and saw Hobbes standing behind him, eating some cotton candy.

"Where were you?"

"Snack stand. Someone just through this whole thing away, and I thought, better not let it go to waste."

"Uh-huh… Listen, Moe just challenged me to go into the old Fun House at midnight."

"Did he indeed?"

"Yep."

"And what did you say?"

"I said yes."

"I see…"

"And you're okay with that?"

"I suppose."

"Really?"

"Yep."

Calvin thought about this.

"You do realize you're coming with me, right?"

"Ahh, now see, _that's _where I have a problem," Hobbes said, holding up a hand.

"Tough. You're coming with me."

Hobbes groaned disappointedly.

Calvin sighed again. "If it makes you feel any better, we'll bring the others with us as well. Will that make you feel better?"

Hobbes pouted a little. "I guess…," he sighed. "If you've got others to bounce dialogue off of, I can hide all I want."

Calvin shook his head, slightly irritated.

"Come on, let's go find Mom and Dad, and then we can get some proper snacks."

"Yeah, yeah…"

And they walked away.

* * *

That evening, they were sitting in the backseat on the drive home. Calvin was sticky and sweaty, and he had some stains on his clothes.

"Well, did you have fun today, Calvin?" Mom asked.

"You bet! I went on that Tilt-a-Whirl three times!" Calvin said excitedly.

"That's nice," Dad said. "Glad to see my money went to a worthy cause."

Calvin glared. "You know, just because I'm six, it doesn't mean I don't know sarcasm when I hear it."

Dad glanced at him warily in the rearview mirror.

"Well, when we get home, you're getting in the tub," Mom said. "It's getting late."

"Aw, c'mon! I was hoping to save some of this sweat for tomorrow!"

"_Calvin_…"

"Fine… Whatever," Calvin grumbled, crossing his arms irritated.

Mom and Dad glanced at him again in the rearview mirror.

Calvin noticed this. "Why are you staring at me?" he demanded.

"Nothing," they both said, trying to focus on the road now.

Calvin raised an eyebrow, but shrugged it off and stared at the view.

* * *

Later that night, Hobbes was resting on the bed. He was watching out the window for the others to arrive.

Calvin arrived wrapped in a towel, drying himself off.

"Are they here yet?" he asked.

"Nope, not yet," Hobbes said, still watching.

"Okay, you better get into bed. Mom and Dad can't know we're leaving."

Hobbes nodded and got under the covers. "I hate doing this."

"What, sneaking out?"

"No, pretending to get ready for bed. Here I am getting all nice and cozy, knowing I have to get up again in a few minutes."

Calvin rolled his eyes and headed for the dresser. He opened the bottom drawer and climbed inside, closing it behind him. Each drawer opened and closed a little heading up, until finally, the top drawer opened and Calvin came out on top, dressed in his purple pajamas. He jumped down and landed in the bed.

Hobbes stared at him. "Didn't you have a towel on when you went in there?" he asked.

Calvin looked at him, and then he looked at the dresser before shrugging. "Meh, it's in there somewhere," he said.

Just then, the door opened, and in walked Mom.

"Okay, everyone ready for bed?" she asked.

"Yep, you bet!" Calvin said.

"Alright, goodnight, sweetie," she said, kissing his forehead. "It's going to be a long day tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Mom."

And with that, Mom turned out the light and shut the door.

Once he was sure she was some distance away, Calvin got out of bed and climbed up towards the dresser, opening the top drawer and climbing inside. This time the drawers opened and closed in a descending order, and Calvin came out of the bottom one in some fresh new clothes, holding the MTM in one hand and a towel in the other.

"Found it!" he said, tossing the towel aside.

Calvin headed over towards the closet and ducked inside.

Then Hobbes heard a _CLANK_ at the window. He looked outside and saw down below that Andy, Sherman and Socrates were down below.

"They're here," he said towards the closet.

"I'll just be a minute," Calvin replied.

Hobbes slid open the window and leaned out to look at them.

"Hey, you made it!" he called down.

"Yeah, it wasn't too hard," Andy called back up. "My parents went to bed early."

"Really? It's only eight o'clock."

"Well, Shermie gave them a knock-out gas."

"They'll be asleep until noon tomorrow," Sherman said assuringly.

At that moment, Calvin managed to drag the box out of the closet.

"Okay, here we go," he said, climbing into it. "Open the window wider, huh?"

Hobbes pushed the window open as high as it could go. Once that was done, he bounded into the box, and they flew out the window and into the open air, slowly landing next to the others on the ground.

"Okay, gang, hop in!" Calvin said.

"Why are we doing this again?" Andy asked.

"Well, it's something to do. Besides, I've always wanted to show Moe up. This might get him off my back for awhile if I do this."

"Yeah, that's a nice reason for _you_ to go," Socrates said, raising an eyebrow. "But what about _us_?"

"Well, haven't you always wanted to go to a fairground at night?"

"Yeah, they have lots of stuff at the fair," Hobbes pointed out. "Sure, some of it scares the bejeebers out of me, but they had nice stuff too."

"Like…?"

"Oh, some games, some nice prizes, great snacks…"

"Snacks, you say?"

"Oh yeah, they had cotton candy, popcorn, candy apples, potato chips, hot dogs, huge cookies…"

"I'm sold! Let's hit it!" Socrates exclaimed, diving into the box.

Andy and Sherman climbed in after him.

"Alright, guys, let's hit it!" Calvin declared.

The box slowly rose up into the air before Calvin leaned forward, and it shot off into the night.

* * *

A few minutes later, they arrived at the fairground. Calvin landed the box behind some shrubbery. As they all clambered out, Calvin took out a small remote control and pointed it at the box. The box flashed briefly and vanished.

"What's that for?" Andy asked.

"Cloaking device," Calvin replied. "I don't want some punk coming along and taking it for a joyride. They'll completely wreck my mileage."

Everyone rolled their eyes as they headed for the main gate.

It had a huge lock on it that held the two iron doors shut.

"MTM, would you activate your lock breaker, please?" Calvin asked.

"On it," MTM replied.

A small door opened on the MTM's casing, and they watched as a long metal stick as thin as a needle extended, and on the end, a bobby pin was formed, which was inserted into the lock, and after a few could turns, it opened.

"Nice work," Calvin said.

"Yep, not everyday you add something practical to my list of features," MTM remarked.

Calvin glared as he tried to open the gate.

"Mmmph!" he grunted. "These doors are heavy. Hobbes, Socrates, give me a hand."

"'Paw', thank you very much," Socrates said snidely.

"Whatever. Just help me pull."

Hobbes and Socrates walked over and pulled on the gate. With a great heave, they managed to haul the doors open, and now they were in.

"Alright, before we go in," Calvin said, "we need to make sure it's safe for us to enter."

"How do we do that?" asked Andy.

"MTM will do a sweep of the park. He'll try and see if anyone else is here."

"Check," MTM said.

At that moment, a long thin blue light shot out of the MTM and spread across the park. Then it fanned out and expanded across the place, and then pulses of light shot out across the fan.

"Wow, nifty," Andy remarked.

"Indeed," Sherman agreed.

This process continued for ten seconds before the fan of light retracted and vanished back into the MTM, who whirred as he processed the data.

"Processing… Processing… Okay, done."

"Well?"

"All we've got is a security guard who's on patrol. Suggest once we get inside we relock the gate."

"Good idea. Come on, guys, let's get in there."

Everyone herded inside through the gates, and Hobbes pulled them shut and relocked the lock before heading back after them.

"Wow…," Calvin breathed, looking around the park. "This place is _creepy _at night."

"Way to sufficiently state the obvious," Hobbes said, wringing his paws together nervously.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Socrates said. "Let's have a looksy, shall we? Which way is the Fun House?"

"It's down past the midway," Calvin said.

"What's in the midway?"

"Mostly the food stalls."

"Sweet! Let's get going! I'm starved!"

And he headed off, but not before looking in a trashcan. He grinned widely and pulled out a full bag of potato chips.

"Wow, what some people will throw away," he remarked. "They're still fresh!"

"It's sick," Sherman snorted. "People pay money for decent food and only eat half of it, while people elsewhere are starving to death!"

"And people wonder why our landfills are full," Andy sighed.

"Really?" asked Socrates. "Well then, it's my duty as a citizen of This Island Earth to make up for that! To the midway!"

And he set off, munching on the bag of potato chips.

The others rolled their eyes and set off after him.

"Am I the only one who feels like we're being watched?" Hobbes whispered.

"You mean like in a really cheesy clichéd movie fashion?" Calvin asked.

"Yeah…"

"This is gonna turn out just like those cheesy teenage gore flicks," Andy snorted. "It's a good thing there aren't any showers around here."

And they continued into the darkness.

The fun house sat quietly at the end of the carnival. It seemed strangely out of place in the darkened scene.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Socrates approached it. Socrates was already munching on some elephant ears he found on the way.

"Alright, gang, are we ready?" Calvin grinned, cracking his knuckles.

"No," Hobbes said.

"Too bad. Let's head inside!"

Calvin ducked underneath the yellow caution tape and walked up to the front door of the place. He turned back towards his group, who were still standing on the other side, staring at him.

"You guys coming?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No," Hobbes said.

"Get in here!" Calvin groaned, frustratingly motioning for them for follow.

Reluctantly, Andy, Sherman and Socrates ducked under the tape and followed Calvin. Hobbes hesitated, then followed, not wanting to be left alone, outside.

Calvin held the MTM up to the door. A light shone through the doorknob and clicked, signaling the door being unlocked. He then opened it, and walked inside.

He looked around. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he began to make out what the place was. It was a room of mirrors. A wide grin spread across his face.

"Oh this is good," He nodded with approval.

The others looked around as well. Basically the room was a small series of tunnels stretching around in a little maze-like obstacle course. This is made more difficult by the fact that instead of walls they had simply mirrors. Reflecting Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman against every surface. In the darkness, it didn't look too nice.

"Well, this is just... _peachy..._" Socrates said, looking around.

Hobbes whimpered and covered his eyes, not believing that he was doing this.

Calvin pushed a button on the MTM.

"Magnetic levels just barely above normal," He said, examining the screen. "Let's move out."

And with that, Calvin walked off into the darkness.

Andy and Sherman were the next to follow leaving Hobbes and Socrates alone in the dark.

"Well," Socrates yawned, stretching his arms. "I suppose,"

And with that, he skipped off in the direction the rest headed off in.

Hobbes whimpered slightly and followed as well.

The maze stretched out for a good 500 feet, as Calvin kept the MTM's sensors up and cautiously made his way through, the rest of the gang close behind him.

Hobbes was in the very back, trying to stay as close as he could, looking around in all directions.

Suddenly, he saw something move in the reflection beside him. He could immediately tell it was not one of his party, for the fact that whatever it was moved away from them.

He looked in the direction the figure moved in. Not seeing anything, he tried to dismiss it as seeing things as he continued forward.

Finally, they reached the end and came to a dark and faded multicolored door.

Calvin examined it.

"Well, this looks promising," He said, turning back to the group.

Andy rolled his eyes.

Calvin took hold of the knob and slowly opened the door.

He peeked inside, then shone the MTM's flashlight through the room.

Everybody's hearts sank.

The room was filled with mannequins. Each one dressed as a different kind of monster. Each holding perfectly still in the most creepy positions you can think of.

Everyone stood in the doorway for a minute, as still as the mannequins, as they stared into the room.

"That's typically not good," Sherman sighed.

Calvin held the MTM up.

"Quick scan, MTM. Anything?"

"Hang on," MTM yawned.

There was a pause, as the CD player quietly hummed, scanning the room.

"Nope," He said, finally. "There's some minor magnetic abnormalities, but nothing to suggest paranormal activity."

Calvin nodded.

"Well, I'm convinced." He said, finally. "Let's go,"

And with that, Calvin strolled inside.

Andy, Sherman and Socrates followed close behind, watching the mannequins closely.

Hobbes continued to stand in the doorway, his left eye twitching, involuntarily. Both eyes still bulging out of his head. Then ran to keep up.

The room was fairly small, so they crossed it rather quickly. However in the darkness, it kept looking like the mannequins were moving, clenching and unclenching their fists and their arms twitching. One of them even looked like it turned its head, following their progress.

Needless to say everyone was much relieved once they got to the door and walked out of the room.

"Well, I have to say," Calvin said, closing the door behind him. "This whole trip has been a major disappointment, so far,"

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Plus, knowing fun houses," He continued. "They usually only have like three or four rooms before you exit, so this is really the last chance that something can happen."

"Well, something better," Socrates said, stretching a kink out of his neck. "I want to get my money's worth."

There was a moment of silence.

All eyes went to Socrates.

He looked around. "What?" He asked.

Everyone continued to stare at him. Finally, they decided to say nothing.

"Let's just go," Calvin said, moving forward. "What's ahead, MTM?"

"A staircase," MTM replied. "Leading to the final room of the fun house,"

"OK, and what's in the final room of the fun house?"

"Can't tell," MTM replied.

There was a pause.

"Why?" Andy asked.

"Just can't. The scanner won't work on that room." MTM replied.

"So... what does that mean?" Sherman asked.

"It's just a typical malfunction," MTM said. "Sometimes there are spots that just come up blank on the scans. It could be because of distorted radio signals, certain energies blocking it, someone in the area using a hair dryer..."

"Well, that's just great," Sherman groaned. "We don't know _what's_ up there,"

At this point, they reached the stairs, which spiraled upwards towards another door.

Calvin didn't even pause as he began climbing them. When he reached the top, he turned and stared at the bottom, realizing that everyone else was still there.

"You coming?" He said, raising his eyebrows.

"No," Hobbes called up to him.

There was a moment of silence.

"MTM?" Calvin sighed.

"Roger," MTM replied.

_**BRAZAP!**_

There was a flash of blue electricity, and Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman all appeared in front of him. Slightly disoriented from the sudden teleportation, they looked around, trying to figure out in the darkness where Calvin just put them.

"That's better," Calvin nodded. "Let's head out."

And with that, he turned and opened the door.

It was that point that they entered the creepiest room in the fun house. It was completely empty. Aside from the faded multicolored wallpaper and the three doors all lined up beside each other, there was absolutely nothing in the room.

Calvin looked around.

"MTM? Can you scan it, now?" He asked.

"Hang on, let me see," MTM said.

He paused for a moment, as a dim green light scanned the room. "The usual. The magnetic energy is a little above normal but nothing too bad."

"That's weird," Andy said. "So does that mean there aren't any ghosts?"

"Not necessarily." MTM said. "They could be hiding or just simply watching us. I wouldn't doubt there's at least one."

"So what is your final conclusion?" Calvin asked, starting to move forward.

"Well, if there are any spirits in here, they're docile and or have very weak energy." MTM replied.

"Dang," Calvin said, snapping his fingers. "I was really looking forward to something interesting happening."

Silence followed this.

"Well, there's still the fact that we need to find our way out," Andy said. "Let's do that before we express our... erm... disappointment..."

"I second that," Hobbes agreed.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Fine, one of the doors probably leads out. Let's see what they are." He said, walking up to the first door.

He opened it and shone the MTM's flashlight inside. This revealed nothing but a blank wall, with red paint reading "DEAD END" on it.

Calvin stared at it.

"Yeah, that's real creative," He said, rolling his eyes and closing the door.

He walked up to the next door and without any hesitation opened it.

"MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Screamed an evil voice as an equally evil-looking clown with red splattered all over its face lunged out of the door at Calvin with his white, gloved hands held up like claws.

_FWOOM!_

This of course, lead to the instantaneous disappearance of Hobbes, as he shot straight up into the air and grabbed hold of the ceiling. And there he laid, desperately clinging to it, shivering.

Socrates, of course, began jumping up and down with excitement, clapping like a deranged seal, while Andy and Sherman simply looked back and forth between him and the clown, not knowing which to be more afraid of.

Calvin didn't even blink as he stared at the fake clown, swaying back and forth in front of him.

"It's not real, Hobbes," He sighed, shoving it back into it's previous position and closing the door.

There was a pause.

Hobbes didn't come down.

Calvin glared at him.

"Hobbes!" He called up to him. "It's not real!"

"That's nice." Hobbes replied.

Calvin heaved a deep sigh.

"It's gone, now." He said, impatiently.

Hobbes warily looked at the door and came down.

"I don't like it in here," He whimpered.

"Neither do I," Socrates said, crossing his arms. "They could have made this place a hundred times scarier than it is, right now."

"I see," Calvin said, walking over to the last door. "And how would you have made it scarier, Socrates?"

"Well for one, I'd be playing Lady Gaga in the background," Socrates said. "More specifically, I'd have her _Bad Romance_ video playing in every room."

"Yep, after several failed attempts, they have succeeded in making her more terrifying than she already is," Andy nodded.

Calvin rolled his eyes and opened the last door.

In the darkness, he could make out a green slide that went down for about three feet before disappearing into the black.

"This looks promising," He said, peering inside. "Alright, well, overall, the play house of horror trip has ended in complete disappointment. Should've expected as much from someone like Moe. Who's ready to head out?"

Calvin turned around.

Everyone had their arms stuck straight up in the air.

He rolled his eyes.

"Let's just go, you big wimps." He sighed.

He turned around to go down the slide first, then stopped. His head came up as he realized something very important.

Slowly, he turned around, and faced his friends, again.

He stared at Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman.

His eyes darted between each one. In the dim light, he couldn't make out any of their features, but could see their outlines, perfectly.

"What?" Socrates asked.

Calvin's mouth went dry.

"Guys..." He said, quietly. "I don't want to alarm you but I think something may be... slightly... amiss."

"What?" Hobbes asked, his heartbeat increasing, slightly.

"Andy, do you happen to have a girlfriend?" Calvin asked.

Andy stared at him.

"No... why?"

"And if you did have a girlfriend, would you have brought her here with us?" Calvin continued.

Andy shook his head.

"Don't... think so, no." He considered. "Why the sudden interest in my love life?"

"How many people are in this group besides me?" Calvin asked.

"Four," Socrates said. "What's wrong?"

"Well, I'm seeing five," Calvin said, slowly.

Silence followed these words.

All eyes went to Andy, who slowly turned his head to the left.

Standing not three feet away from him, was the darkened figure of a young girl in a dress. She had torn and tattered pigtails and was slouching forward with her head tilted to one side, twitching.

There was a pause.

Andy turned to Calvin.

"What the heck do you think I look for in a girl?" He asked, finally.

Suddenly, the figure began making a light choking and gasping sound, as if something was caught in her throat, as she slouched forward, reaching out for the group.

"Wait," Calvin said, holding his hands up. "Stand your ground, guys. Remember, these guys just feed on your fear. They can't actually hurt you."

Everyone froze, and attempted to hold still.

The girl's head then swung to one side, causing it to snap, loudly, as it began choking harder, turning and making a grab for Hobbes.

"MOMMY!" Hobbes screamed at the top of his lungs, diving onto the slide in panic.

Calvin sighed.

"Well, that could have gone better," He grumbled.

Socrates, Andy and Sherman followed Hobbes down the slide, and Calvin began backing up to it as well.

"MTM, initiate scan! What kind of ghost is it?" He asked.

"Righto. Processing." MTM said.

The girl began limping over towards Calvin, holding its arms out and gasping, loudly.

"Processing." MTM said.

Calvin continued backing up.

"Processing."

The girl grabbed Calvin's arm. He could feel clammy ice cold flesh on his.

"Processing."

"MTM?" Calvin said, finally.

"Hmm?" MTM asked.

"Nevermind,"

"Oh, OK. Now canceling current scan." MTM replied.

And with that, Calvin ripped his arm away from the girl, and dove down the slide, slamming the door behind him.

The slide spiraled down for about ten or fifteen feet, before everyone collapsed in a heap on a small, soft pad at the bottom.

"I don't like slides," Socrates muttered, grumpily, laying face down on the pad.

Calvin stood up and looked around. His stomach painfully lurched at what he saw.

They were surrounded by mirrors

Everyone else looked up and examined their surroundings as well.

"Well, we're gonna die," Hobbes said, placing his face back on the pad.

Andy rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, because going the front door is completely out of the question." He said.

Calvin snapped his fingers,

"An excellent observation, Andrew," He said. "But correct if I'm wrong in saying that the slide is in the same place that the door was in when we came through the first time?"

Andy paused.

He turned and looked at the slide. Then he looked behind the slide. There was simply another mirror.

"Since when can ghosts do _that?_" Socrates demanded, standing up.

"They can't," MTM said. "Ghosts can't change their physical surroundings."

"Well, why couldn't you even see that the ghost was there?" Sherman said.

"Whatever it was, was hiding its energy from me." MTM said. "Ghosts can't do that, either. That wasn't a human spirit we just saw."

Calvin glared at the CD player.

"Well then, what the heck was it?" He asked.

"No clue," MTM said. "We left the room before I could get a proper scan on it,"

Calvin's eyes slammed shut.

"Well, I _really_ think I could live without figuring out what it was," Hobbes whimpered. "Can we _please_ leave?"

Calvin sighed.

"Fine, MTM, teleport us out. We're done here,"

"'fraid I can't do that, either," MTM said.

There was pause.

"Why...?" Hobbes asked.

"Well, when ol' Hobbes panicked back there, the magnetic energy skyrocketed, just a bit. If I try to teleport us out, we might get stuck in the field and be unable to escape. I'd say that's about an ninety five percent possibility."

There was a moment of silence.

"Well, then what are we gonna do?" Socrates demanded.

MTM thought for a moment.

"We're gonna have to go through the fun house again and hope we find a way out," He said, finally.

There was a long moment of silence.

"Really?" Hobbes sighed.

"Yep," MTM nodded. "Should be rather interesting to say the least.

"But I don't wanna die," Hobbes moaned.

Calvin rolled his eyes and yanked Hobbes up by the scruff of his neck.

"Come on, we don't have any other options, so let's just go." He said.

And with that, the gang began to make their way through the fun house, once again.

The second run through the mirror room proved to be more tense. Everyone continued to see dark figures dashing across the reflections and out of sight.

By the time they reached the door, they were all on edge.

"Well," Calvin said, looking back from where they had come. "So far so good. How's the rest of the troop doing?"

"We're all gonna die," Hobbes whimpered.

"Way keep up the spirits, Hobbes," Calvin said, turning back around, and opening the door.

He peered into the mannequin room.

He stared inside.

"Oh...well... that's just beautiful." He sighed, sarcastically, opening the door so the rest could see.

Everyone looked in closer.

All of the mannequins had been turned and were staring at the door at them. Each one had their hands outreached and their mouths were hanging open. It is notable at this point that mannequins are not supposed to have mouths that can open.

Everyone stared into the room, blankly.

Finally, Hobbes spoke.

"Well, I'm done," He said, throwing his paws up.

Everyone turned and stared at him.

"You go on ahead," Hobbes said. "I'll just sit here and wait for the ghost to messily devour my innards,"

Everyone continued to stare.

Calvin shrugged.

"OK," He said, simply. And with that, he walked forward into the room.

Socrates, Andy and Sherman followed.

Hobbes stood in the doorway for a moment, staring at the blackened figures of the mannequins.

"You're not very nice!" Hobbes called to Calvin, as he ran to catch up.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

Watching the mannequins, carefully, the group made their way across the room. None of them moved as they went.

Calvin was the first to reach the door and opened it as quietly as he could, as if the mannequins would attack them if they made too much noise.

They all quickly disappeared into the next room, leaving the mannequins standing perfectly still on their stands.

Calvin approached the staircase and stared at the door at the top.

"Alright, MTM, we're back at where we left off, what do you see up there?" He asked, pointing the CD player at the door.

MTM began humming for a second.

"Nothing, but like I said, that probably doesn't mean much if this bloke can hide its energy."

Socrates crossed his arms.

"Well, that's no fun!" He grumbled. "How are we supposed to know when the cool stuff is about to happen?"

Everyone glared at him.

"Well, hold on, let me try an experiment," Calvin said, climbing up the stairs to the door.

"What?" Andy asked.

"Well, if I know my paranormal creatures at all, there's one thing they can never resist no matter what the circumstances are," Calvin said, tucking the MTM in his pocket.

Everyone stared at him.

"Opening a door when someone knocks on it," Calvin grinned.

Andy and Sherman rolled their eyes.

Calvin turned and gave the door a hard four knocks.

There was a moment of silence.

The door didn't open.

Calvin blinked.

"Oh... well, I guess we solved that little myst..."

_Knock...knock... knock... knock..._

Suddenly, the four knocks were returned on the other side of the door in a slow, dull pitch.

Everyone stared at the door.

Hobbes turned around and started walking in the other direction, until Socrates grabbed his tail and pulled him back.

Calvin glared at the door.

"Oh yeah? Well, I know how to play _that_ game, ghosty!"

And with that, Calvin pulled out his hypercube and yanked out a couple of drum sticks.

Chuckling to himself, he began whacking the door as fast as he could, creating a basic drum rhythm on the door.

_BUM, bum, bum, bum... BUM, bum, bum, bum... BUM, bum, bum, bum... BUM, bum, bum, bum... BUM, bum, bum, bum... BUM, bum, bum, bum... BUM, bum, bum, bum... BUM, bum, bum, bum... BUM, bum, bum, bum..._

After he had done this for a good minute and half he stopped and put the drumsticks away.

"So, Ha!" He shouted at the door.

There was a moment of silence.

Suddenly, the door opened up by itself revealing the empty room, again.

"Yeah, that's right!" Calvin said, jabbing his finger at it. "Never challenge Calvin the Bold!"

Hobbes groaned and buried his face into his hands.

Everyone slowly made their way into the room. It appeared to be completely unchanged as they approached the door with the slide behind it.

Calvin turned to Hobbes.

"Now, my friend, I may want to add at this point in the proceedings that if you need to panic when the creepy little girl shows up, please do it quietly so you don't bother us," He said, simply.

Hobbes stared at him, blankly.

"Oh OK, I'll keep that in mind," He sighed.

"Thanks," Calvin grinned, turning to the door with the slide.

And with that, immediately on cue, Hobbes felt something touch the fur on his back, and a dark voice whispered something inaudible in his ear.

"I'M TOO YOUNG!" Hobbes screamed, shoving Calvin out of the way and diving down the slide.

Calvin heaved a deep sigh.

"Well, at least we know who the spirit's after," Socrates nodded.

Andy and Sherman rolled their eyes.

"Come on, let's go get him," Calvin sighed.

They started towards the slide, but suddenly, the door slammed shut.

_SLAM!_

Andy ran up and tried the knob.

"It's locked." He said.

Calvin threw his hands up.

"Oh well, of course, right?" He shouted. "Because, apparently, if that didn't happen, _that'd be stupid!_"

* * *

Hobbes meanwhile was sitting at the bottom of the slide in petrified horror, as he watched dark figures dashing through the reflections in the mirrors.

"Hobbes!" Socrates called from up the slide. "Can you hear me?"

"Eep," Hobbes squeaked, to terrified to move.

"We are attempting to initiate a rescue mission, but we can't get the door to open!" Socrates called. "Think you could climb up the slide a bit and get it for us?"

"No," Hobbes whimpered.

"You see, it's more of a matter of me not wanting to walk through the mannequin room again to save you, so I'm sure you'll understand my position!" Socrates called. "This is far more scarring for me than it is for you!"

Calvin rolled his eyes.

Suddenly, Hobbes saw something out of the corner of his eyes. This wasn't a reflection.

Hobbes moved his head slowly to the right.

There was a darkened mass on the ceiling. Its skinny arms and legs extending out from its torso and holding onto it. Its head turned slowly and in a jerky form towards Hobbes.

The two stared at each other for good fifteen seconds.

Then suddenly, the figure began moving towards Hobbes very quickly, in a jerky style.

Needless to say, to Hobbes, this sight was the equivalent to an electric shock delivered after eating three caffeine pills and a box of marshmallows.

_**FWOOOM!**_

_**BANG!**_

Upstairs, a very loud sound, like that of one's head hitting a door, sounded in the tiny room Calvin, Socrates, Andy and Sherman were in.

Finally, the door creaked open, and Hobbes came tumbling out.

There was a pause.

Everyone stared at him.

Finally, Calvin spoke.

"So, what's it's looking like down there?"

"Not nice," Hobbes muttered.

"Hmm, that's a shame."

"Can we leave, yet?" Hobbes asked.

"MTM?"

"Nope. Energy levels still too high," MTM replied, cheerfully.

"No, we can't leave, yet," Calvin said, turning back to the tiger.

Hobbes groaned.

"Well, we can't just sit here and wait for something to happen," Sherman said. "We need to keep moving."

"Why?" Socrates asked. "We're just going in the same circle over and over again!"

"It's better than just waiting here," Calvin said, straightening up. "We better keep moving. Hobbes?"

Hobbes didn't reply. He was laying face down on the carpet.

Calvin stared at him.

"It's either that or we'll leave you here for the next run." He shrugged. "We'll be back to check up on you in about ten minutes or so. Just don't assume it's us every time a door opens."

In an instant, Hobbes was up, again, standing next to Calvin, ready to go down the slide, again.

"I thought so," Calvin nodded. "Come on, let's head out."

And with that, the group all went down the slide one by one, to go through the haunted fun house a third time.

**To Be Continued...**


	5. Dark Laughter P2

_Written by Garfieldodie and Swing123_

**Dark Laughter  
Part Two  
**

The trip down the slide was slow and uneventful. They wound up back in the main room again, and when they looked, there was still no door to the outside.

"Okay, let's psyche up," Calvin said, looking at the door to the mirror room. "This could lead to anything."

"I'm on it," Hobbes replied. "Just give me the hypercube."

Calvin reached into his pocket and pulled out the hypercube, which was flashing various lights in the dark, and tossed it to Hobbes, who caught it with one paw and reached inside it. He rooted around for a minute before he found what he wanted. He wrapped his fingers around it and brought it out for all to see.

It was a mirror.

"What do you need that for?" Andy asked.

"I need to practice."

"Practice what?"

"Hold it for me."

He handed the mirror to Andy, who grasped it in his hand.

"Okay, hold it up. Aim it at me."

Andy complied.

Hobbes looked long and hard into the mirror. He started making all sorts of faces at it, trying to appear angry. He touched up his fur in certain ways and growled a little as well.

Sherman rolled his eyes. "What the heck is wrong with you? This is no time to be straightening your whiskers."

But then Hobbes did something nobody was expecting. He suddenly jerked forward, and his fur stood up, his tail poofed out, his pupils narrowed, his fangs glared and his claws sprung out, aiming at the mirror.

And then he made a noise they hadn't heard out of him in a long time.

"**_GROOOOOWL!_**"

Sherman was so startled that he went flying backwards off of Andy's shoulder and landed in Socrates' paws, who'd just managed to catch him in time.

Everyone stared at Hobbes, who was holding that pose while also examining it in the mirror.

Satisfied, he went back to normal and smoothed his fur out again.

"Okay, I'm warmed up. Let's do this crazy dance," he said, straightening his neck out.

Calvin stared at him in amazement before nodding shakily and heading towards the door.

"Okay, let's be ready…," he whispered.

Cautiously and dramatically, Calvin opened the door again and peeked inside.

The others leaned over his shoulder and peeked inside as well.

The mirrors were reflecting back everything in the darkness, adding that nice little bit of terror to the otherwise mundane room.

"I don't see anything weird," Calvin whispered.

"Nothing?" Hobbes asked. "Are you sure?"

"Nope."

"Awwww, but I put on my scary face and everything!"

"I know, I know…"

Cautiously, they crept into the room and looked around.

All they saw were their own reflections.

There were no strange dark figures running around in the background this time.

"Nobody sees anything, right?" Socrates asked.

"Nothing," Andy replied.

"Okay…"

There was a pause as Socrates looked around nervously.

"So why is that fact making this walk even more terrifying than before?" he moaned.

"The brain is a strange thing," Sherman mumbled, his eyes clamped shut.

Finally, they made it to the end of the mirror maze and found themselves at the next door into the room with mannequins.

"Alright, everyone set?" Calvin asked, putting his hand on the doorknob.

"Actually, we're all pretty on edge," Andy said, looking very worried.

"Good. Now I don't feel so ridiculous."

Swallowing hard, Calvin pulled open the door.

Everyone stared inside.

The room was empty.

No mannequins staring at them or reaching for them.

The

mannequins

were

gone!

"Oh _wow_," Hobbes said, letting out a shaky breath.

"Okay, Hobbes, I'm siding with you! Let's get out of here!" Socrates wailed.

"No, no, hang on," Calvin said. "We're not getting out of here until we've figured this out. Now come on…"

Sighing heavily, the others followed him onwards through the darkness.

They walked for another minute before they finally came to the staircase.

Calvin walked vigilantly up the steps, followed one by one by the others.

The stairs made an awkward creaking sound as they went.

_Creeeaaaaaaaak…_

_Creeeaaaaaaaak…_

_Creeeaaaaaaaak…_

_Creeeaaaaaaaak…_

"Okay, one of us is walking too slowly," Sherman hissed. "Everyone else is halfway up."

Calvin sighed. "Hobbes, how many times do we have to trick you into keeping up with us tonight?" he demanded.

"I'm right next to you," Hobbes said, sounding a little concerned.

Indeed, Hobbes was with the group this time, and he was in the middle, quite clearly not lagging behind.

"But…if you're here…," Calvin said, but he trailed off.

Everyone looked back down the stairs to see who was taking up the rear.

But, surprise, surprise, no one was there.

"Okay, less staring at the obvious, and more walking towards the unknown!" Socrates said nervously gesturing for them all to get a move on.

For once, he was agreed with by everyone, and they hustled up the stairs.

Calvin reached the door and flung it open, and in his hurry to get inside, he tripped and fell, landing on his front on the floor.

Hobbes, Andy and Socrates promptly tripped over him and landed on top in a pile.

"Owww…," Calvin moaned.

Sherman, who had landed on Calvin's head in the process, looked around the room. His eyes widened at what he saw.

"Er, fellows?" he said nervously.

"What is it, Shermie?" Andy asked.

Sherman pointed ahead.

Everyone followed his finger and saw something on the wall.

It was a shadow.

The shadow was that of a little girl with pigtails.

She was skipping around in circles against the wall, and she was singing a little song in a voice that normally would've been adorable, but in this case was creepy and chilling.

"_Ring around the Rosies._

_A pocketful of posies._

_Ashes. Ashes._

_They all fall down_."

And she continued to sing this as her shadow danced.

"Well, ain't _she _just delightful," Socrates muttered, trying to get up.

"Quick, MTM!" Calvin said urgently, pulling him out of his pocket. "Get a scan of that shadow."

"Check," MTM replied.

A thin green stream erupted from the CD player, and went up against the shadow, striking it in the middle.

They all heard the sound of a little girl giggling as though she was having her tummy tickled.

"Just when I thought this was getting a little beyond weird…," Andy remarked, getting to his feet and scooping Sherman back up.

Then the green light beam retracted back into the MTM.

"Processing… Processing…"

"Well? Anything?" Calvin asked.

"Gentlemen, I'm afraid we've got ourselves a poltergeist."

"How is that different from a regular ghost?" Socrates asked.

"Well, poltergeists actually feed off of people's fear. Through our fear, they become more powerful, and they get more and more disturbing with each run through."

"Really?" Calvin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh yes. I bet they're just going to weirder and weirder as we go on through the funhouse."

Calvin considered this.

"Well, bearing in mind that we're basically stuck in this loop until the door comes back, it might be interesting to see what this thing looks like by the time the night is over."

"Why is it a little girl, anyway?" Hobbes asked.

"Good question for later. MTM, what's going to take for you to teleport us out of here?"

"Well, don't freak out at the ghost for a start…," MTM replied. "Every time one of you gets scared of something, the poltergeist becomes more powerful, and the magnetic levels get too high for me to do it safely."

"So essentially, we just need to not be afraid, and then you can get us out safely?"

"Correct."

"Well then, we're going to have to be brave this next go around."

"Oh, this should be interesting," Sherman remarked, glaring at Hobbes.

"Hey, shut it, Vermin," Hobbes snapped. "I can be brave."

"Like when?" Andy asked, crossing his arms.

"When…when I feel like it. Scary face, remember?"

And to demonstrate, Hobbes bared his fangs at them.

Suddenly feeling a little uneasy, Sherman pretended to casually glance away.

Calvin rolled his eyes and opened the door to the slide. "Alright, one last round, everyone?"

"Righto!" Socrates said cheerily. He bounded forward and flew down the slide on his belly, vanishing into the dark.

"Hang on, Shermie," Andy said, tucking his hamster away in his shirt pocket.

"Oh joy of joys," Sherman muttered, cling into the fabric.

Andy leapt onto the slide and slid on down, also vanishing.

Hobbes hesitated for a moment before he too got on the slide.

"Just _one _last round?" he asked hopefully.

Calvin grinned wryly. "Just one more round, ol' buddy," he said, patting him on his head.

Hobbes nodded warily and followed after the others.

Calvin glanced back at the shadow on the wall, which was still dancing around in circles. Glaring at it, he got on the slide and rode downwards.

* * *

Once they were at the bottom, they found themselves once again in the front room.

"Okay, here we go," Calvin said, immediately heading for the door. "It's mirror-mirror time."

Pulling the door open, everyone looked inside.

The mirrors still lined the walls.

There was a distinct difference this time.

"Can anyone else hear that?" Hobbes asked hopefully. "Because if they can't, I fear I'm going insane with…fear, actually."

Everyone else listened carefully.

They slowly wandered into the room to get a better sense of it.

"Is that…? No…it can't be…," Socrates whispered.

"What is it?" Calvin asked.

"It's…it's _Carney_ music!"

They all listened carefully. They could hear distant pipe organs and xylophones in the darkness, accompanied by organ grinders and some sort of strange trumpet.

"How apt," Andy mumbled.

"Indeed," Sherman agreed.

"Well, it _is _a funhouse in a carnival," Calvin said. "Let's just keep going."

He started to walk away, but Hobbes put a paw on his shoulder.

"Wait, there's something else…," he said. "Listen… I think I can hear…_laughter_."

Everyone strained to listen, and for a few moments no one heard anything.

But then they could hear it.

Laughter.

It was the laughter of a small girl.

There was no malice to it at all. It actually sounded sweet and kind.

And that made it all the more daunting.

"Okay, everyone keep calm," Calvin ordered, trying not to freak out himself. "We need to be strong if we're ever going to get out of here."

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Andy said, trying to keep a grip on himself.

They walked in silence for awhile, trying not to let their fear get the better of them, but they still felt a bit anxious as they came to the door to the mannequin room.

"Why do I get the feeling this is going to be even worse?" Calvin asked as he opened the door.

"Years of experience," Hobbes replied.

Calvin nodded and peeked into the room. He didn't enter right away. Instead, he took his head back out and looked back at the others with wide eyes.

"What's wrong?" Andy asked.

"I…I'm not sure…but something seems to have happened in there," he replied shakily.

Calvin opened the door all the way, and they all stared at the scene before them.

The mannequins were back and in their original places.

There was a key difference, however.

They were torn into pieces and were strewn across the room.

"Oh…man…," Andy breathed.

"Looks like _somebody_ had a paroxysm," Socrates remarked, shaking his head and tutting.

"Oh lord, look over there," Hobbes said, pointing nervously.

They all looked and saw that, in the doorway across the room, was a lone mannequin. It was that of a giant clown, and it was grinning a huge sickening grin.

"I've never been at ease around clowns," Andy said. "It's probably for the best I get that in the open now."

"Thanks for sharing that, Andy," Calvin sighed.

Just then, the lone light bulb in the room flickered.

Everyone was plunged into darkness for a few brief seconds.

Thankfully, it came back on a few seconds later.

"Ah, just what we needed," Socrates observed. "A nice hearty clichéd event to add tension."

"Er, Crateso?" Calvin said.

"Yeah?"

"Look at the clown."

Socrates peered over at the clown mannequin.

One of it's arms was reaching out for them now, it's fingers outstretched.

"Okay, that's an interesting wrinkle," he said, now a slight tremor in his voice.

Calvin glared at the clown. "Okay, that's enough," he grumbled. "Let's move that thing out of the way and get this over with."

And he started to approach the mannequin with a determined look. He stood at the base of it as it towered over him.

"Okay, you're not so scary-looking," he snorted. "We've got work to do. Come on."

Calvin promptly wrapped his arms around the base of the clown and began to try and shift it out of the way of the door.

The others waited amongst the carnage of the remaining dummies, looking at the destruction cautiously.

"Er, you guys don't think that… Nah, never mind, it's stupid," Hobbes said.

"What is?" Socrates asked.

"Well, I was just thinking… You know, apropos of nothing, but…what if the clown mannequin attacked the others and destroyed them?"

Sherman stared at him. "Hobbes, that's patently ridiculous," he said.

While Calvin was still moving the clown mannequin, however, the outstretched arm suddenly reached down and grabbed him by his shirt.

"WHOA! HEY! PUT ME DOWN!" Calvin shouted as he found himself suddenly being lifted into the air.

Everyone turned and stared in shock.

Sherman cleared his throat. "Well, I've been wrong before," he conceded.

The clown lifted Calvin high into the air and looked him straight on. He could only stare into the lifeless plastic eyes.

And then a voice rang out.

"_Will you play with me?_"

Everyone stared.

"It's that little girl again!" Hobbes cried. "What's with this kid?"

But Calvin managed to remain calm.

"Now, now, let's be rational about this…," he said as gently as he could.

"_I want to play with you!_" the voice cried out.

"I understand, but you need to realize something: you don't look very inviting right now. You look like a giant plastic clown. I don't know if it's the light or the molding, but either way, you just look a tad homicidal, you know what I'm saying?"

"_But I wanna play!_" the voice said, sounding sad now.

Calvin reached out and calmly patted the clown on the nose.

"Now, now, there's no need for that," he said. "Let's put a smile on that face."

And with that, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the MTM and aimed.

"MTM, let's take care of this kid's toy, shall we?"

"Very well," MTM replied.

There was a whining noise, and suddenly, a red laser shot out and struck the clown's shoulder and the arm that was holding Calvin in the air suddenly disconnected and fell away from the rest of it.

Calvin landed on the ground with a thud, and then got up and pushed the rest of the mannequin away, leaving the doorway open.

"Come on!" he called to the others. "We need to hurry up!"

They complied and hurried through the door towards the stairs.

"Not that I'm complaining, but why the sudden rush?" Hobbes asked.

"I just broke one of the poltergeist's playthings," Calvin pointed out.

"So?"

"Hobbes, you don't seem to realize the magnitude of what I've just done."

"What's that?"

"There is no one on Earth more vengeful and destructive than an angry child."

Hobbes thought about that. "Hmmm, I agree…"

"Good."

They continued after the others for a moment before he realized.

"Hey!"

Hobbes laughed and tore up the stairs, with Calvin growling and reaching for him as he followed.

But just as they were making it to the top of the stairs and rejoining the others, but there was a problem.

"Er, something seems to be wrong here," Andy announced, trying to turn the knob.

"What is it?" Calvin asked.

"The door's stuck!"

"What?" Hobbes cried.

"Clichés again," Socrates sighed. "I swear, is nothing original anymore?"

Then the lightbulb above them flickered momentarily, and they were plunged into darkness.

"Apparently not."

Calvin tried the doorknob, again, to no avail.

He glared at it, in contempt. Then his eyes brightened as he realized something.

"Alright, MTM, this simply will not stand," He said, holding the CD player up.

"I agree one hundred percent," MTM said, sounding as if he was nodding.

"Whatever should we do about something like this?" Calvin chuckled.

"Hmm, gee... wow... I couldn't imagine." MTM said.

Hobbes and Socrates exchanged glances.

They could see what was about to happen.

_BLAST!_

Suddenly, a large explosion of red lit from the end of the MTM, briefly lighting up the room and hitting the door, flinging it open.

"I could always try that," MTM said.

"Yes, that does tend to be useful on occasions." Calvin nodded.

He chuckled to himself as he put the MTM back in his pocket.

He turned to the rest of the gang.

"I think I just won," He grinned.

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman rolled their eyes.

"Does it seem to _you _that his ego's getting any bigger?" Sherman whispered to Andy, as they walked into the final room of the fun house.

It wasn't pretty.

The entire place had trashed beyond recognition.

The wallpaper was torn and had claw marks in it, the only light that was hanging from the ceiling above had gone out, the slow carnie music was continuing to play in the creepiest way you can imagine, and they spotted the little girl, again.

She was standing in the corner, next to the door with the slide, with her back to them. Her hair was no longer in pigtails, and hung straight down over her face as she stared at the ground. In one hand she was holding a doll by its neck and the other hand was in front of her, slowly scratching the wall, repeatedly, creating a high pitched screeching sound, similar to fingernails on a chalk board.

Everyone stared at her for a long moment.

Then, Calvin turned to the rest of the gang.

"Well that's not very Christmas-like," He said, simply.

Socrates rolled his eyes.

"I don't wanna go in there," Hobbes whimpered.

"You have to," MTM said. "Otherwise it's just going to get worse."

They watched the girl for another moment, she had still not acknowledged their presence, as she continued to scratch the wall in a monotone loop.

"Just ignore it," MTM said. "Don't give it any more power. It's already starting to lose it from the last couple of rooms."

Calvin slowly started into the room.

The others hesitated, and followed.

The girl continued to ignore them, as they slowly approached the door she was standing next to.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of creeping, the group made it to the door.

There, they stopped and looked over at the girl, again.

She still didn't turn around.

They stared at her for a moment.

Suddenly, Socrates leaned over and whispered into Calvin's ear.

Calvin glared at him.

"No, you may not drop a bucket of water on her head and see what happens!" He spat.

Socrates grunted in annoyance and crossed his arms, while everyone else rolled their eyes.

Calvin turned back around and reached for the doorknob, preparing to reveal the slide.

That's when things decided to not go well.

As soon as he touched the knob, the girl stopped scratching the wall.

Everyone froze, their eyes bulging.

The girl's head slowly came up.

She took her hand from the clawed wall, and shuffled her feet around.

The sight was not pretty.

The girl stepped into the light, revealing her face. Her black hair was hanging over her face in unkept strands. Her eyes were as equally black as her hair, and her mouth was hanging open.

"Let's play a game!" She said, grinning evilly and reaching for the group.

"No, I'm good..." Calvin said, slowly stepping back.

"Let's play hide and go seek!" The girl said, limping towards them.

"Again... I'm good..." He said, continuing to walk backwards, along with the rest of the group.

Suddenly, The girl stopped dead in her tracks.

She tilted her head, slowly, then looked over at the door they came from.

"Why did you hurt my dolly?" She said. "He just wanted to play..."

"Can I freak out, yet?" Hobbes asked, who was currently shivering behind Socrates.

"Nope," MTM said, cheerfully, clearly enjoying this. "Gotta wait another minute or so,"

"He just wanted to _play!_" The girl screeched, her voice suddenly becoming very deep and demonic as she took another step forward.

There was a short pause as the group all stared at the girl in petrified horror.

The tension was suddenly cut by MTM's speech.

"Hey, I just won a chess match I started three minutes ago!"

All eyes went to the CD player. Even the poltergeist paused in mid-step, as if it couldn't believe what it had just heard.

"What?" Calvin demanded.

"Yeah, that's a new record," MTM said, sounding satisfied with himself. "I feel sorry for whatever poor dope the internet stuck me with that time,"

There was a moment of silence.

"Ya know, MTM?" Andy said, finally.

"Hmm?"

"Sometimes I wonder about you,"

"Eh, to each his own." MTM shrugged. "By the way, you can all be scared, again, the energy levels have dropped and I've locked down the safest spot for teleportation. It's back in the mirror room."

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Oh please, MTM. Have you no faith in us? We've gotten this far without panicking, what makes you think..."

Finally, the poltergeist apparently lost its patience with its prey and took another step forward.

"YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY WITH ME FOREVER!" She shrieked in three different voices at once, as her teeth suddenly became sharp and jagged and her eyes somehow enlarged and took up half her forehead.

"TAKE THE HAMSTER INSTEAD!" Hobbes screamed at the top of his lungs, making a dive for the door.

Calvin's eyes rolled into the back of his head.

The group ran after Hobbes, and one by one, dove down the slide back into the mirror room.

Calvin got behind the door, and looked back into the room.

The girl was limping towards the door, continuing to make that same choking sound.

Calvin waved and grinned, as he slammed the door in her face.

There was a pause, as Calvin turned back and prepared to go down the slide the last time.

"Well, that was easy," He grinned. "Good thing she's too stupid to follow us, huh?"

_Click, click, click..._

Suddenly, a small sound starting coming from behind the boy.

He blinked.

"MTM?" He whispered.

"Mmhmmm?" MTM replied.

"Is she opening the door?"

"Uuuhh... Yes, she is," MTM said, in a matter of fact manner.

"Why?"

"Because if she wasn't, apparently that would be stupid,"

Calvin groaned.

Suddenly, the door was flung back open, revealing the girl.

"_READY OR NOT! HERE I COME!_" She screeched, reaching for Calvin.

Calvin dodged her grab, and quickly, dove down the slide.

On the way down, he looked back up. The girl was following him.

"Oh, well _funsies.._." He grumbled, turning around.

"We're almost there," MTM said. "I can teleport us in just a second."

"I FOUND YOU!" She screamed, grabbing the back of Calvin's shirt.

"No you haven't!" Calvin spat, grabbing his shirt back. "Stop lying!"

At that moment, the slide ended, and Calvin was thrown in a heap on top of Socrates, Andy, Sherman and Hobbes.

"There we go," MTM said, sounding satisfied. "Engaging teleportation."

_**BRAZAP!**_

There was a flash of blue and red light, lighting up the mirror room, briefly, as Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman vanished.

As soon as they did, each mirror took the figure of the little girl, each one looking more disturbing and weird than the last. The room fell in pitch black darkness just as they all started stepping out of the mirrors, reaching for where Calvin and the gang had just been.

* * *

_**BRAZAP!**_

There was a bright flash of light, as Calvin and the gang were teleported back outside into the night air.

There was a moment of silence as everyone lay in a heap on the ground.

Then straightened himself up and looked around.

"Well, that was weird," He said, brushing himself off.

Everyone nodded in unison.

"Well, overall this illustrates one undeniable fact," Calvin said, turning to his group.

"What?" Socrates asked.

"I wanna go back inside!" Calvin grinned, rubbing his hands together. "Who's with me?"

Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Socrates all glared icicles at Calvin.

* * *

The next day at school, Calvin was putting a few things in his locker, whistling the Doctor Who theme song to himself. It was going to be a typical school day where he planned on attempting to crawl out the window when Miss Wormwood wasn't watching him.

He grabbed his books and turned to start walking towards his classroom, when he noticed something very large walking towards him.

It was Moe.

"Hey punk!" He shouted, lumbering over to the young lad.

"Moe," Calvin nodded. "I presume you had a lovely night previous to today?"

"Don't get smart with me, Twinky!" Moe said, making a fist in Calvin's face.

Calvin paused.

"...Erm... I wasn't," He said. "This is how I talk all the time,"

Moe paused.

"Whatever." He said, putting his fist down. "Did you go into the haunted funhouse last night?"

"I did," Calvin nodded, looking quite satisfied with himself. "Although, not the most interesting night I've ever had, but definitely in my top twenty-five."

Moe stared at him.

"You didn't go in!" He growled, crossing his arms. "What kind of proof do you have?"

Calvin reached into his pocket, pulled out a photograph and showed it to Moe.

Moe squinted at it.

It was a picture of Calvin standing in front of the fun house with Andy and two stuffed tigers, waving.

Moe stared at it for a long time.

"OK, fine, so you did go in. What happened?" He said, straightening up.

Calvin rubbed his chin in thought.

"Ya know, not much, really," He said, finally. "Piece of cake, in fact. Nothing that I don't already have to put up with in this school."

Moe continued to stare at him.

"In fact, you should actually give it a shot." Calvin said, shrugging. "Bit of an interesting trip,"

Moe laughed his deep, stupid laugh.

"Are you crazy? I'm not going in there!" He grunted.

Calvin shrugged.

"Fine with me," He said. "I just thought that since I went in, you wouldn't have any trouble doing it, either,"

Moe grabbed Calvin's shirt.

"Are you calling me a coward?" He demanded.

"I'm doing nothing of the sort," Calvin said, still retaining his calm persona. "I'm simply observing the differences between you and me in that I'm willing to go waltzing into a haunted fun house in the dead of night only a week before Halloween, and you aren't."

Moe stuck his face into Calvin's.

"You think you're tougher than me, huh?" He growled.

Calvin heaved a deep sigh.

"Of course not, my good man," He said. "Just forget I said anything. I'm sure your reputation as the toughest kid in the elementary school shall not be tarnished by your refusal to do the thing your rival did,"

After Calvin finished speaking, Moe took a few seconds to register what he had said, then suddenly flung him at the ground.

"I'll show you, Twinky! I'm telling my friends we're going in, tonight!" He shouted.

"You have fun with that," Calvin said, who was now laying face down on the ground.

Moe stormed off, growling to himself as Calvin stood himself back up.

It was then that he noticed Susie standing over by her locker, staring at him.

"Did you just do what I think you just did?" She asked, closing the locker.

Calvin grinned sweetly.

"What?" He said. "Tricking Moe to go into a haunted fun house in the dead of night, that just happens to have a shape shifting poltergeist residing inside?"

Susie raised her eyebrows.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Derkins," He chuckled, picking his books up and walking towards his classroom. "Besides, even if he does do it and the poltergeist takes the door away like it did with us, I'll just have MTM teleport him out and back to his house, when I'm sure he's gotten scared enough."

Susie rolled her eyes.

"Fear not, for I know what I'm doing!" Calvin declared.

"I'll bet you do," She sighed, picking her own books up and following him.

* * *

Later that night, Moe and his gang had broken into the carnival and having snuck past the security guard were now standing in front of the fun house.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Moe?" One of his friends whispered into his ear.

"Yeah, I'm sure!" Moe grunted. "I'm not going to let that stupid spiky haired kid take all the credit for doing something like this!"

"You don't think we'll get caught?" The other asked.

"No," Moe said, simply.

"I don't know, Moe," His other friend said. "This place is pretty creepy, and..."

"Don't tell me you two are gonna wimp out on me!" Moe said, turning around.

"No, of course we aren't," His friend said. "I'm just kinda..."

"It's gonna be fine!" Moe assured them, lumbering over to the door. "What could be in there that we can't handle if Calvin could?"

And with that lovely little thought in mind, Moe opened the door to the fun house and walked inside, followed shortly by his two thugs.

"See?" Moe said, once they were inside the mirror room. "This isn't so bad, at all!"

As if on cue, as soon as Moe said that, the door behind them slammed shut on its own, causing all three of them to jump.

_SLAM!_

Needless to say, it proved to be a very interesting night for them.

**The End**


	6. The Time Master

_Written by Garfieldodie and Swing123_

**The Time Master  
**

It was a bright sunny morning in Calvin and Hobbes' neighborhood. All was peaceful and tranquil. Birds were singing. Cars were motoring up and down the street. People were jogging with their dogs and their iPods playing Black Eyed Peas music.

So imagine how strange it was to have this scene interrupted when the door to their house was flung open and Calvin was practically drop-kicked out of his house and landed on the walkway, his books and lunchbox flying over him.

"GET GOING, OR YOU'RE GOING TO MISS THE BUS!" his mother's shrill voice yelled at him.

And with that, the door was slammed shut behind him.

Calvin glared at the door and stormed down the walk to wait for the bus.

"I wonder if it's healthy to drink cups of coffee in the shower," he muttered.

Standing on the edge of the walk, he glared down the road, waiting for the bus.

Susie walked up alongside. "Morning, Calvin!" she said in a voice that was far too chirpy.

"Hmph," Calvin grumbled.

"Ready for school?"

"One day at a time, Susie, one day at a time…"

Mercifully, the bus arrived and put a stall on any possible further small talk, and Calvin clambered aboard with Susie right behind him.

Meanwhile, back in his bedroom, Hobbes was sound asleep in bed still, snuggled under the sheets, dreaming about his usual things.

In fact, it wasn't until three hours later that he finally decided to wake up and start his day.

Hobbes climbed out of bed and slunk down onto the floor, and he went into a series of stretches that only cats can do naturally. He let out a low rumble in the back of his throat and got up on his hind legs and opened the door, heading down the hall to the stairs.

"Let's see… Tuesday, I believe… What should I do while I wait for Calvin to come home…?"

Hobbes arrived at the stairs and leapt up onto the railing and slid down like a dog track rabbit, bounding off the banister at the end and landing neatly and lightly on his paws. Pleased with himself, he got up and walked into the kitchen.

"Hmmm… I think some breakfast is in order. Preferably something fishy…"

Going into the pantry, he pulled out the stepladder and used it to get out six cans of tuna. He took them over to the can opener and got to work on peeling back the lids. Once he had tossed them aside, he took them into the living room. He plopped down in the chair in front of the TV and turned it on, finding a National Geographic Special that looked ideal.

He heard someone coming down the stairs and twisted his around to see who it was.

It was Calvin's Mom. She was rooting through her purse for her car keys, and a grocery list dangled from her fingers. She opened the door and started to head out.

"Bring back more tuna!" Hobbes shouted.

But Mom apparently did notice him as she closed the door behind herself.

Hobbes sighed and went back to television-viewing. "Nobody ever listens to the desires and cravings of higher specie," he muttered.

He downed the three cans of tuna in rapid succession before tossing them all aside and getting comfortable. He watched television for a few minutes more until he heard something happening outside.

**_CLANG!_**

"OUCH! THAT WAS MY FOOT! WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND PUTS A MAILBOX IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR FRONT YARD?"

Hobbes recognized the voice and sighed to himself.

"Oh great…," he muttered. "I was sure I was going to have a nice day, too…"

Getting out of the chair, he picked up the cans of tuna and placed them neatly a few feet away from the front door. Then he walked upstairs, whistling calmly to himself. He headed down the hall and entered the bedroom and shut the door behind himself.

Just as he was doing so, he heard a loud crash downstairs.

"HEY! WHO LEFT THESE SMELLY CANS OF TUNA IN THE DOORWAY?"

Hobbes sighed and headed over to the bookcase.

MTM was sitting on top of it on downtime.

Hobbes pressed the power button, and the little CD player revved into life.

"What do you want: weather forecast or a meteor blown up?"

"Just preparing you for Brainstorm, he's on his way up."

"Oof. What a way to start the day. Breakfast and an attack on the house before noon."

"I know. I hate to think the questions that are going to be asked when Calvin's parents sell this place."

They heard frantic footsteps pounding up the stairs and heading towards them.

"Okay, here we go," Hobbes sighed, opening the window.

The door was suddenly kicked open, and Dr Brainstorm emerged. He was holding a weed whacker in his arms, and a tuna can was on his head.

"WHERE ARE YOU, CALVIN?" he shouted.

Hobbes waved at him.

Dr Brainstorm didn't acknowledge him at first, but upon no sign of Calvin, he finally noticed him and aimed the weed whacker at him.

"TIGER! WHERE IS _CALVIN_?"

"He's not here. He's at school," Hobbes replied calmly.

"Told you," Jack said, coming up from behind.

"SHUT UP, JACK!" Brainstorm bellowed. "HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE WAS AT SCHOOL?"

"Because I told you?"

"And…?"

"Because…he's six?"

Brainstorm growled. "So he's not here?"

"Nope," Hobbes replied. "So take your gardening tools and clear—"

"**_EXCELLENT!_**"

"Erm… Okay, I'll bite. Why?"

"If he's not here, there is no one to stop me from raiding the house! Jack, cover me!"

Brainstorm immediately sprang forward and headed for Hobbes, but Hobbes stuck his foot out, tripping the mad scientist, who flopped on the bed, bounced forwards and sailed out the window.

"NOT _FAIR!_" he wailed.

**_THUD!_**

Jack took a sip of his lemonade before casually saying, "He'll be back."

"Yeah…"

Hobbes and Jack waited calmly for Brainstorm to find his way back inside.

"…I notice he didn't call me a robot this time."

"Well, we've known you for… How long now?"

"I…think we're coming up on, what…five years now?"

"Sounds about right. That's about how long it takes him to finally grasp the bloody obvious."

"Hmmm…"

Finally, Brainstorm stumbled back inside, his face covered in mud.

"Okay, let's try that again," he grumbled, holding up the bent weed whacker.

"Go for it," Hobbes replied.

Brainstorm took a swing with the weed whacker, but Hobbes managed to back flip through the air and land safely on the other side of the room. Brainstorm was thrown off balance, and in true spastic form, he flew off his feet, bounced off the bed and flew out the window again.

"STOP DOING _THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT!_"

**_THUD!_**

There was patient silence while they waited for him to come upstairs again.

"So what was his plan, exactly?" Hobbes asked.

"Something along the lines of trying to smack him around with the weed whacker," Jack replied.

"Oh."

Hobbes thought about this.

"He's nothing if not original."

"Oh, definitely."

At last, Brainstorm came in, mud-faced and his lab coat slightly torn. He had lost the weed whacker.

"Okay, I broke my weapon upon hitting the ground. But I imagine I can still do something rather nasty to you."

"Actually, I've got another show coming on, so if you don't mind, I'm just going to do something rather nasty to you myself, 'kay?"

And with that, he pressed a button on MTM.

"Self-Defense Feature activated," MTM announced.

Dr Brainstorm leapt backwards in terror.

"ACK! NO! YOU SHALL NOT DEFEAT ME!"

And with that, he bypassed the bed completely as he jumped out the window.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!_"

**_THUD!_**

Jack sighed. "What does that feature entail?"

"Oh nothing," MTM replied. "I'll just set up a force field around the house so he can't get back in."

"Alright, I'll be going then. Sorry about the door."

"Never mind, we'll fix it before Calvin's parents come home," Hobbes said, waving him off.

Jack stepped over the broken door and headed away.

"Alright," Hobbes said, rubbing his paws together. "Let's see… First, put the force field up, and then fix the door, and then we'll kick back and watch _Massive Machines _on the Discovery Channel."

"Ooh, Chris Barrie. You know how to get me to work," MTM replied.

* * *

Jack left the house and went round to the side where he found Brainstorm dusting himself off and trying to restyle his hair, which was matted down with dirt.

"Did you fly, Frank?" Jack asked.

"**_DR BRAINSTORM! _**And you're just jealous of my ability to stage a cunning escape in the very nick of time!"

"He didn't even do anything."

"He didn't have time to! I escaped before his plan could be implemented! Now we must try again!"

Brainstorm ran past Jack and headed for the front door. He was just coming up to it when he slammed into something.

**_CLUNK!_**

Dr Brainstorm grumbled and reached to open the door he thought he had crashed into. But he couldn't get to it.

"What the…?"

He then realized it wasn't the front door he had crashed into, but the invisible force field around it. He put a hand up against it, and felt the invisible wall keeping him from getting inside.

Jack walked up to him. "Give up yet, Joshua?" he asked mildly.

Brainstorm growled at the wall in frustration before turning and leaving.

"So… We're going to have to come up with a new plan," Brainstorm muttered.

"Do we have to? Couldn't we just go home and watch TV today?" Jack asked.

"NO! Of course not! Besides, there's nothing good on TV during Sweeps Week! You know that!"

Jack nodded faintly.

"Now let's see… Calvin is at school right now, so…"

Jack reflected that watching Dr Brainstorm think was similar to watching a giant rusty tractor plowing a field.

But eventually, a triumphant grin came across his face.

"WE'RE GOING TO SCHOOL!" he shouted triumphantly.

And with that, he ran over towards the rocket.

Jack sighed and followed after him.

* * *

Outer space was stretching all around in all directions, stars twinkling within it, while planets when in orbit around their respective suns.

A flat red spaceship flitted across the scene, doing majestic loops around the galaxy before heading for a large orange planet with strange red stripes.

_Our hero, the courageous Spaceman Spiff, comes in for a landing on the Planet Spleen. He must locate the hidden jewels of Proammon and bring them back to Earth._

The little red craft came in for a landing on the planet, and Spiff climbed down the ladder.

_Spiff looks around the planet for any signs of life, but none seem to exist. There is no sign of life at all in this barren landscape. Our hero puts a double lock on his ship and sets the alarm nevertheless._

Taking out his key, Spiff pressed a button on the pad and listened to the ship's "locked" sound while the headlights flashed. He pocketed the keys and turned for the long walk into the planet's depths.

_The setting is a desolate. A heavy muggy substance seems to hang in the air. The heat is rather intense, but luckily, our hero uses SPF 150._

Walking along a ledge overlooking a valley, Spiff got the shock of his life.

_Hot Suns of Gallifrey! No wonder there's no life around here! There seems to have been some sort of attack on the place!_

Spiff half-ran, half-tumbled down the slope and into the dale. He looked around at the fallen aliens, all of whom didn't seem to have a scratch on them.

_Spiff inspects the aliens, but there seem to be no external injuries. What could it be? Poison? A virus, perhaps? Maybe even some sort of internal bleeding?_

He put an ear up to an alien's chest, listening for any vital signs, but sighing when he heard none. These creatures were past it, alright. But how?

_Before our hero can contemplate any further, he hears the approach of a giant creature slithering along the surface of the planet. He stares up in horror at the ugly creature that stands over him now, casting a huge misshapen shadow across him._

The creature was a huge ugly jiggling mass of slime that was looking down at the space adventurer with a pair of huge eyes that extended towards him on their stalks.

_Spiff recognizes the creature almost instantly. It was the legendary Educator! This horrible gelatinous creature has been feeding off of these poor creatures by boring them to death! No doubt it shall attempt the same on our hero. He must be strong!_

The creature opened its oozing mouth and said slimily, "What year was the Battle of Lexington?"

_Our hero must fight! This huge creature will suck out his life force and it to its ever-increasing waistline! He…must…fight!_

"Calvin? Are you paying attention?"

Spiff blinked and reexamined his surroundings.

The planet melted away and was replaced by a classroom. All the dead aliens lying around him changed into students, all looking at him. The hideous creature turned back into Miss Wormwood, who was looking at him expectantly, holding a book in her hand.

"Battle of Lexington?" Calvin squeaked a little nervously. "Er…it was in…"

**_BRIIING!_**

Calvin was relieved when he heard the bell ring suddenly, signaling the beginning of recess.

"Oops, sorry, ma'am, gotta run!" he yelled, and he leapt from his seat and was out the door.

Calvin made out onto the playground in nothing flat, and he was soon heading over towards the swings.

"Yes! First one out means first one on the good swing! Excellent!"

But just as he was coming closer, a giant shadow loomed over him, and he found himself staring up at the last person he wanted to see right now.

"Hey, Twinky," Moe said, grinning stupidly at him.

"Moe, come on!" Calvin cried. "I want to get on the swings!"

"Why should I?"

"Moe, we do this every day! Just this once, let me get past!"

Moe smirked and held out his hand. "First, you have to give me fifty cents."

"You're putting a toll on the swing set?"

"The whole playground, as it happens," Moe replied. "But don't worry, it's all going to a charity that I think you can get behind."

"Oh yeah, and what's that?"

"The LET CALVIN KEEP HIS HAIR Charity."

Calvin ran a hand through his thick hair before frantically digging through his pockets. "Sounds like a worthy cause. I'm a big fan of Calvin's Hair," he said, hoping he could find the desired amount.

But just as he was about to find the correct amount of change, he heard somebody shout his name.

"CALVIN! PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM!"

Calvin and Moe both looked off to the side and saw someone trying to climb over the wooden fence.

"CALVIN, PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM…AS SOON AS I GET OVER THIS STUPID FENCE!"

Calvin felt dread come over him. "Oh no…," he muttered. "Not here…"

Indeed, Dr Brainstorm suddenly came up and over the fence, landing rather comically on his face. Getting up and finding he was unharmed, he came running over.

"Okay, that wasn't too bad… Now then, Calvin, I've found you in your dwelling!"

"This isn't my dwelling, Frank, this is my school. It's more of a prison. Now what are you doing here?"

Moe interrupted. "Is this your dad, Calvin?" he asked, grinning stupidly.

"No, this isn't my dad, Moe," Calvin grumbled. "Frank, this is Moe."

"**_DR BRAINSTORM! _**Delighted to meet you, Moe," he said, cordially shaking the boy's hand.

"So, what is he, your uncle or something?" Moe continued.

"No, he's not my uncle."

"Your grandfather?"

At this, Calvin started to laugh.

Dr Brainstorm growled at Moe. "Okay, you get away from here! I am not a relative! I am his worst nightmare!"

"His dentist?"

"He's not that bad," Calvin sighed.

"Then he has nothing to do with you?"

"Not really…"

"Then pay up that fifty cents, squirt," Moe said, holding out his hand again.

"Moe, I don't have time for the playground anymore. I have to deal with _him_ now. Ergo, I don't need to pay you a toll."

Moe grabbed Calvin's shirt and held up a fist. "Pay _up_, Twinky!"

"Okay, I don't have time for this," Dr Brainstorm grumbled, suddenly grabbing Moe by the scruff of the neck and dragging him away.

"Hey, let go! I'll tell a teacher! Let go!"

"You expect me to feel threatened by the school's faculty? Don't make me laugh! Worst excuse for authority figures in the world…"

And with that, he tossed Moe aside like a limp rag, and the boy landed in the sandpit.

Brainstorm whipped around and glared at Calvin. "Now then, we need to…"

But he trailed off when he saw that Calvin was running off to the other side of the playground.

"Shoot," he muttered.

Calvin headed for the jungle gym and started to climb over it, climbing towards the top. Dr Brainstorm, determined not to lose him, started to climb up after him. Calvin managed to get around to the other side and cling to it tightly while Brainstorm struggled to keep balanced.

It looked really ridiculous from a distance.

Dr Brainstorm is pretty tall to begin with, so he could have just as easily gotten Calvin trapped by just circling the jungle gym. Fortunately, he's not very good with logical thought processes, and as such, he was determined to make this as challenging as possible.

Calvin managed to get away from there and headed for the tetherball pole, where a bunch of kids were already playing a game. He ducked under the ball as it headed for him.

Dr Brainstorm tried to keep up with him and headed for the tetherball pole himself, but he ended up getting smacked in the back of the head by the ball. He turned around to see what had happened, but the ball swung back around and hit him again from the opposite direction.

This pattern repeated itself several times while the kids watched in amazement as Brainstorm failed to fight back or at least get out of the way.

Calvin walked away and stared at the spectacle.

Susie walked up alongside him. "Who's that, Calvin? Is he a relative of yours?"

"Why does everyone think that? Where did everyone getting this ridiculous notion?"

"I'm sorry… I just thought I saw a resemblance. I think it's the hair…"

"What? You… I think you'd better get your eyes checked, Susie. I can't see it at all."

Susie shrugged. "Want to play on the seesaw?"

"…Yeah, sure," Calvin said after some thought. "He's not going anywhere."

And they walked away.

Dr Brainstorm continued getting bonked around, shouting obscenities at the ball (G-Rated, of course) for another fifteen minutes.

Calvin and Susie stayed on the seesaw for all that time, idly chatting about nothing until the bell rang again.

"Dang it!" Calvin complained. "Now we have to go back and learn."

Susie rolled her eyes. "Come on, Calvin. Let's get going." And she got off the seesaw, letting Calvin's end drop to the ground.

Calvin came down so quickly that he bumped up in the air for a minute when he hit the ground.

"Hey, you could've given me a warning!" he snapped, rubbing his sore bottom.

Susie just smirked and ran back towards the building.

Calvin grumbled and ran after her. But he didn't notice that when he'd hit the ground, something had been tossed out of his pocket from the force. It landed in the grass next to the playground.

All the kids were finally heading into the building.

Once they were all gone, Jack seemed to levitate over the fence, but it soon turned out he'd just extended his legs. He took two long strides over it and slowly lowered to normal as he walked over to Brainstorm, who was still struggling to stop the ball.

"Having fun rediscovering your inner-child, Frank?" he asked, looking rather amused.

"**_DR BRAINSTORM!_** And let me tell you something about this so-called sport, Jack: it's just dodgeball on a rope! OW!"

Jack mercifully reached out and grabbed onto the ball, stopping it where it was.

Brainstorm grumbled, rubbing his sore head. "Right, that was idiotic," he snarled. "Now where'd he go?"

"The bell rang. All the kids went back inside, Calvin included."

"Darn. I doubt I'll get away with breaking inside the building and getting him."

Jack shrugged. "Up to you. I, personally, want to get back home and watch some of the Televised Poker."

Dr Brainstorm stared at him incredulously. "You seriously want to watch _that_?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"I can never follow that myself. It just strikes me that they were running out of ideas for channels…"

"Meh, its cable. Anyone can do have a show."

"Makes me wonder why I even pay for it."

There was a pause in the conversation here as they both pondered this.

Then Dr Brainstorm noticed something on in the grass. "What's that?" he asked, walking over towards it.

Jack followed his gaze to the yellow object in the grass.

Dr Brainstorm picked it up and examined it. "Interesting," he remarked. "Plastic… There's a trademark on the bottom from Burger King… But I can't place what it is exactly… Jack?" he asked, holding it up for the robot to scan.

Jack, deciding to go along with it, scanned it from where he stood and watched the data spew across his eyes.

"It was originally a plastic top spinner," he said. "You would attach the bottom of it to the top and press the red button, and the top would disconnect and spin on a flat surface."

Brainstorm stared at the device. "Oh. Huh. Thought it was something important…"

But just as he was about to toss it aside, he thought about what Jack had just said.

"Wait a minute… 'Originally'? As in it _used to be_ a top spinner? Then what is it now?"

"Calvin's Time Pauser. Don't you remember?"

Dr Brainstorm looked closely at the Time Pauser, trying to place it in his memory. Then his crazy eyes widened in realization.

"Oh… _Oh_… OH! This is fantastic! _Fantastic_, I tell you!" he cheered. "I have one of his inventions! Let's see if it works!"

And with that, he pressed his thumb down on the red button.

**_BOOOOOM!_**

The usual white shockwave expanded away out from Brainstorm, and it passed over everything around him. He watched in fascination as Jack stopped moving, some birds froze in mid-flight, the swings froze in position, a kickball stopped rolling, and some leaves hung in the air.

A crazed look came over his face as his grin grew even larger.

"Oh, this is excellent!" he cheered. "I can use this device to take over the world at long last! I can sneak up on them unawares! I can get the jump on all our enemies! This opens up a whole new level of opportunities for us, Jack! WE'LL BECOME UNSTOPPABLE! ARE YOU _WITH ME_?"

There was no answer.

"Jack?"

He looked over his shoulder and saw Jack just staring straight ahead. He looked at the Time Pauser, and then at Jack again.

"Oh," he said, pressing the button again.

**_BOOOOM!_**

Another shockwave erupted from the Time Pauser, and as it washed over everything, everything started moving again.

Jack continued to stare at him expressionlessly.

Brainstorm looked around and saw everything moving again, but Jack stayed where he was.

"Wait… Are you still in Time Stop, or are you just being you?"

Jack finally glared at him.

"Ah, good! Now come along, Jack! We've got a world to take over! To the rocket with us!"

And with that, he ran off towards the fence, attempting to just jump over it by pulling himself over it in one pull, but he ended up slamming into it instead, falling to the ground.

"JACK, HELP ME GET OVER THE FENCE!"

Jack rolled his eyes and walked over to him.

* * *

"Good afternoon, ladies gentlemen," Calvin said walking up to the front of the classroom later on. "Today for show and tell I have brought a device that will blow your very minds and stretch the reaches of your imagination. Especially if you've never watched _The Twilight Zone_ before."

Miss Wormwood rolled her eyes and prepared for the usual routine.

For those unaware of Calvin's show and tell routine, let me fill you in. He shows them something, says it's something else, then attempts to run out of the classroom. Occasionally he will escape the school and return home, where Mom will yell at him for a while, and bring him back. Other times, Miss Wormwood catches him and throws him in the detention room. Either way, it proves for an interesting afternoon for all parties.

"Contained within my very pockets is a device known to many but owned by few. A device that taps into the complex fabric of the time vortex and halts all progress! Brings time to a standstill and causes everything to stop at your will!"

Everyone stared at him.

"Because of the serious complexity of its nature, I am unable to show it to, you, however," Calvin went on. "For if I did, government agents would be swarming the school searching for it and taking prisoners! In fact just that fact that you are in the same room as it put all of your lives in danger!"

This was greeted with blank stares.

"Therefore, to protect all of you, I will demonstrate its power at the same time that I initiate my Operation of dire importance."

There was a pause, expecting someone to ask him was this operation was.

When no one did, he jabbed his finger at the crowd of kids and screamed at the top of his lungs, "SEE YA LATER, SUCKERS! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

And with that, he bolted from the room.

Miss Wormwood heaved a deep sigh and stood up from her desk.

"I'll be right back, kids," She sighed, walking out of the room.

The kids all stared at the doorway, obediently remaining in their seats.

Calvin raced through into the hallway, where he rounded a corner, and stopped briefly to reach into his pocket.

"Now to slow things down a bit..." He chuckled, digging through his pockets. There was a pause. He shuffled through his pocket.

"Did I put it in the other one?" He asked, rather concerned, checking his other pocket.

Not finding anything there, he frantically began patting himself down, looking for it.

"I must have left in the classroom." He said, still not finding it.

Meanwhile, the kids were all still sitting in their seats, patiently awaiting Miss Wormwood's return.

Suddenly, the door burst in, and who should come flying back in but the runaway, himself.

"I think I forgot my thing." He said, simply, walking over to his desk.

Everyone stared at him for a long moment, trying to figure out if they should jump him or just let Miss Wormwood catch him.

"Calvin you better just sit back down!" Susie hissed. "You're in enough trouble as it is!"

"Susie, you make it sound like I don't know what I'm doing," Calvin said, defensively.

Susie stared at him for a moment.

"Oh and you do?" She asked, finally.

"Just as soon as I find my Time Pauser I will," Calvin said, rooting through his desk. "Where the heck did I put it?"

"You mean that yellow thing with the red button?" A kid next to Calvin asked.

"Yeah, you've seen it?" Calvin said, looking up.

"Yeah, that weirdo that came during recess took it." The kid replied.

There was a long moment of silence.

Calvin stared at the boy for a long time.

"You have no idea how bad that is, do you?" He said finally.

The boy shrugged.

Suddenly Miss Wormwood came back in.

"Well, I can't find him," She sighed. "I'm just going to call his mother and..." Her voice trailed off as he spotted Calvin, who had leaped back into his seat when she came in.

For a long time, the two just stared at each other.

Finally Miss Wormwood just sighed and returned to her desk.

"Whatever. Who would like to go next?"

* * *

Meanwhile, Dr Brainstorm and Jack had just returned to Yellowstone, and Brainstorm was examining the Time Pauser.

"This is so amazing, Jack! We have the boy's Time Pauser! Do you have any idea how amazing this is?"

"Pretty amazing, I would assume," Jack said, not really paying attention.

"IT'S AMAZINGLY AMAZING!" Brainstorm yelled.

"Well, that's just lovely, Frank," Jack said, sitting down. "And now that you have Calvin's Time Pauser, what do you plan to do with it?"

"_**DR BRAINSTORM!**_ And I haven't decided yet! There's just so many evil things I can accomplish with such a device! I don't even know where to start!"

He thought for a minute.

"I've decided!" he shouted finally.

"Oh goody," Jack yawned.

"We shall use it on the Brainstorm Jet and take it to the White House! From there we shall take down all of the defenses there and order the president to give me total control over the planet!"

Jack paused for a second, then turned to Brainstorm.

"I don't think it works that way..." He said, slowly.

"Of course it does! Now come! We have work to do!" And with that, he pushed the button on the Time Pauser and zaps into the Brainstorm Jet into the other room.

Jack sighed, stood up and walked after him, grabbing another couple of sodas for the road.

By the time he made it to the rocket, Brainstorm was already wiring the Time Pauser up to it.

Without saying a word, he simply sat down in his usual chair next to the driver's seat and propped his feet against the console.

"Alright, Jack! The device has been integrated with the ship! It's now time to begin the plan!" Brainstorm announced sitting back down.

"Which is what, again?" Jack yawned.

"I forgot! But it'll come back to me when we get to the White House, I'm sure." Brainstorm said, starting the rocket up, and aiming it for the exit.

_**BOOM!**_

Fire exploded out of the engines of the rocket, propelling them forward, out of the lab and into the open.

By some miracle, there were no tourists around Old Faithful this time around, making Brainstorm's departure go unnoticed.

As they flew higher into the clouds, Brainstorm reached his hand over from the steering wheel and slammed his palm over the Time Pauser's button.

_**BOOM!**_

A white shockwave shot out from the rocket in all directions, freezing time.

"HA HA!" Brainstorm screamed with triumph. "WE HAVE COMPLETED STEP ONE, JACK!"

Jack took little notice to Brainstorm's outburst, however, as he took out a magazine and started reading, silently.

They flew on towards the direction that Brainstorm assumed the White House was in.

On the way, they passed several birds and at least two airplanes, hanging frozen in the air.

Each time they would pass another one, Brainstorm would burst out with insane laughter, to the point where Jack began to find it to be rather annoying.

Finally, they came to a flock of Canadian geese, flying off in the other direction.

Brainstorm began to maneuver his way through the flock.

"Well, Jack! In a few short hours I shall be ruling the world!" Brainstorm chuckled deviously. "What should I do first as ruler of the planet?"

"Give Texas back to Mexico?" Jack suggested.

"I vote we make Venice the capitol of the world!" Brainstorm announced.

Jack paused.

"Why?"

"Because of the food."

Jack rolled his eyes.

Suddenly there was a bright flash of white light that filled the interior of the rocket.

"AAUGH!" Brainstorm screamed, covering his eyes.

As the light cleared the sound of geese squawking filled Brainstorm and Jack's ears.

Brainstorm stared in shock as the geese starting flying past him, obviously no longer in time stop.

"What the..." Brainstorm looked down at the Time Pauser.

There was a tiny screen on the little top spinner and the words on it were flashing yellow.

BATTERY LOW

"What the heck does that mean?" Brainstorm cried.

"It means the battery is low." Jack said, without looking up.

"Well, why did it stop pausing time?" Brainstorm screamed.

"Because if the battery ran out while you were still in time stop, you'd be trapped in it forever with no possible means of escape." Jack said, simply.

"WELL THAT'S JUST STUPID!" Brainstorm roared.

Jack rolled his eyes.

Brainstorm picked the tiny machine up and studied it.

"So how do you recharge it?" He grumbled.

Jack shrugged.

Brainstorm studied it for a moment before making a decision.

"Well then, we need to go back to the lab and figure out how to charge it back up!" He declared, jerking the rocket's wheel to the right, spinning it around and heading off towards Yellowstone.

"Oh goody," Jack yawned.

Upon reaching Yellowstone, Brainstorm got right to work on recharging the Time Pauser.

He hooked it up to the main console and pushed a few buttons.

"Alright, Jack! It is now time for the epic recharging of my uber cool 'stopping time' device!" He declared.

"Mmhmm," Jack said, sitting down in his chair and yawning.

Brainstorm pushed a few more buttons and pulled a lever.

_ZZZZT!_

The lights in the lab flickered, slightly, before coming back on.

Brainstorm looked around.

"Did it work?" He asked.

Jack didn't respond.

Brainstorm rushed over to the Time Pauser and checked the screen.

BATTERY LOW

"Dang!" He shouted. "WE NEED MORE POWER!"

Jack sighed.

"Well, this is going to end in bloodshed," He mumbled.

Brainstorm flipped more switches and hooked up more wires to the Time Pauser before pulling the lever, again.

_ZZZZZZZT!_

This time the lights completely went out, plunging the lab into total darkness.

"Quick! Jack!" Brainstorm shouted. "Initiate the backup power!"

Jack sighed and flipped a switch on his chair.

_FWOOM!_

Immediately, the lights came back on and the computers rebooted.

Brainstorm looked around.

"Did it work, this time?" He asked.

Jack turned the page to his magazine.

Brainstorm rushed over to the Time Pauser and checked the screen again.

BATTERY CHARGED

"SUCCESS!" The mad scientist screamed, jabbing his hands into the air in triumph.

"It work?" Jack asked, looking up, casually.

"YOU BET IT WORKED!" Brainstorm screamed, yanking the Time Pauser out of the console and pocketing it. "COME, JACK! WE HAVE A WORLD TO CONQUER!"

And with that, the lunatic scientist rushed into the rocket launching room.

Jack sighed and put his magazine down.

"Bet you 50 dollars it'll run out of power again before we get there," He muttered, following Brainstorm out of the lab.

* * *

That afternoon, the school bus pulled up to Calvin's house, and he hopped down and ran up the path towards his front door. He was anxious to do something about the Time Pauser problem.

"If Dr Brainstorm has the Time Pauser, I need to get to him before he figures out how it works," he thought to himself.

He was just flinging open the front door when…

"I'M HOOOOOOO_AAAAAAAAA**AAAUUGHHHH!**_"

**_KAPOW!_**

The world briefly turned orange with black stripes as he suddenly rocketed backwards thanks to some sort of fuzzy propulsion pushing against him, and then the world to green and brown as he hit the world itself and sent dirt and grass flying everywhere.

"Wooo!" Hobbes cheered, getting up and romping around in the dirt a bit. "It was getting a touch boring sitting around waiting for you to get home!"

"Then allow me to liven things up!" Calvin retorted, finding his feet and figuring out which way to throw his fist.

But Hobbes managed to dodge out of the way with a simple kitty leap, and Calvin landed face-first in the grass again.

While his friend tried to determine which was up, Hobbes decided to gather the school materials that'd gone flying in every direction.

"So, how was school?" he asked.

Calvin struggled to get up again. "Dr Brainstorm turned up," he said through a moan.

"Yeah, I thought he might. He came here first."

"Hobbes, we've got a problem…"

"I'll say we have. I can't find your world history binder anywhere…"

"No, I mean Dr Brainstorm. I think he stole the Time Pauser."

"Mm-hmmm…"

Calvin stood and managed to dust himself off. "You're taking this rather well."

"It's Dr Brainstorm. I know how this works. He gets one of your inventions, he takes it back to his place, he tries to use it, he and Jack bounce off each other with a smattering of dialogue, and then we turn up and take the invention back."

Calvin considered. "Yeah… All the same, I think it'd be best if we got going after it now."

Hobbes looked at the notebooks in his paws. "Don't you have homework tonight?"

"Did you find my world history binder?"

"No…"

"Then no, no I don't."

Hobbes sighed and they headed inside.

Back in Yellowstone, the rocket was once again landing.

Once it settled, Dr Brainstorm stormed out of the hatch and marched determinedly down the ramp, followed by Jack. When they reached the bottom, he angrily glared off into space for a moment.

"Ahem," Jack said, holding a hand out.

Dr B glared at him, reached into his pocket and pulled out a fifty dollar bill, handing it to Jack, who put it away for later.

"Okay, let's try this again," he muttered, taking the Time Pauser out of his pocket.

"Now what? You want to deplete the backup power?" Jack asked, looking at him expectantly.

"Don't be a fool, Jack! Without the backup power, we have nothing left!"

Jack stared at him, rather surprised. "Oh, so you _have _thought about this?"

Dr B glared at him. "I just need to find another power source. Maybe I can convert it to solar power…"

"The sun's energy can't power it if it's in time stop."

"Why not?"

"Because once we go into time stop, we enter a dimension of no time, and that means nothing is moving, including the sun rays."

"Hmmmm…, okay, how about this: we could create a device of perpetual power! It could constantly be recharging this device, and it would keep running forever!"

"Okay, that's nice, but where would we get the perpetual power for the perpetual power device?"

"Well, we could…"

But he trailed off as he considered this.

"WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND YOUR LOUSY _LOGIC_?"

"There's nothing lousy with my logic. You just have lousy plans."

"AND THAT'S GOING INTO THE REPORT!"

"Sure, sure…"

Dr Brainstorm growled and examined the Time Pauser. "There must be something we can use… How does _Calvin _recharge it?"

"I wouldn't know."

"Hmmm… Well then, that's our best course of action."

"What is?"

"Calvin's probably going to come looking for this at some point, yes?"

"Yes."

"And his searches will lead him _here _eventually, won't they?"

"Yes again."

"So when he gets here, I'll hold his tiger hostage and make him _tell _me how to recharge it!"

Jack stared at him.

"…What?" Dr B demanded.

"Well, ignoring the fact that that plan of yours is another repeat of another plan, you're getting good at remembering he's not a robot."

"Who's not a robot?"

"Hobbes."

"Who?"

Jack stared at him. "The tiger you're planning to hold hostage."

"Oh, that's his name? Interesting…"

Jack moaned and shook his head.

"Now then, we must prepare! We don't know how long it will take him to finally realize we have the Time Pauser, so we must be patient."

"I actually think they'll be here soon."

"And how do you know that?"

"You've bothered both of them today. They're going to come to that conclusion rather easily."

"You're certain? It can't be _that _obvious."

Just then, the polite electronic voice announced to them: "_INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!_"

"I have a hunch," Jack said, smirking slightly.

Dr Brainstorm growled.

At that moment, the elevator in the corner of the room opened up, and Calvin and Hobbes stood there, the former holding the MTM.

"Well, _look _who's here, Jack!" Dr Brainstorm exclaimed, feigning delight. "What a _completely _unexpected surprise!"

"Oh, you _knew _we were coming! We've done this too many times now!" Calvin snapped.

"NO MATTER! SERVANT RAY, _DO NOT SECURE THE TIGER_!"

**_BRZAP!_**

Everyone reacted with surprise when Dr B suddenly pulled out the Servant Ray and aimed it at Hobbes.

Hobbes was suddenly picked up and slammed against the wall by a cloud of golden energy.

"Hey!" he shouted. "I'm stuck to the wall!"

"Immobilized, you are! Well observed!" Dr B snapped. "Now then, Calvin, if you want your precious tiger back, you'll tell me how to recharge your Time Pauser!"

Calvin looked around, first at Hobbes, and then at Jack, who shrugged, and then at Dr B, who was glaring at him with the Time Pauser in one hand and the Servant Ray in the other.

"Man, I hate this," he muttered.

"Ahem! I'm right here!" MTM reminded him.

Dr Brainstorm smirked. "Yeah fine, go ahead and hit me with one of your little toys. You're still not going to be able to get him down."

"Actually, I was thinking something more like this."

Calvin aimed at MTM at Hobbes, and a blast was fired that hit the cloud of energy holding him to the wall. The energy evaporated, and Hobbes fell to the floor, neatly on his paws.

Dr Brainstorm stared. "Drat…," he muttered.

Hobbes growled, went into the windup, bounded across the room and pounced through the air, straight towards Dr Brainstorm.

"No, _no, NO, NOT THE FACE_!" he shouted fearfully, shielding himself with his arms.

**_POW!_**

Hobbes and Dr Brainstorm rolled on the floor for a moment before the former smashed the latter into the wall.

"OWIE!" Dr B wailed.

"Okay, Frank, hand over the Time Pauser," Hobbes said sternly.

"NEVER!"

"I have claws, you know. I can use them whenever I want."

Looking at the pair of large paws pinning him to the wall, Brainstorm gulped and began fishing around for the Time Pauser in his pocket.

Just as he was pulling it out however, he noticed the screen on the side of it and his eyes widened.

BATTERY CHARGED

Grinning excitedly, he quickly hit the button with his thumb.

In that instant, Hobbes' paws seemed to slip through his shoulders and thudded against the metal wall.

"Hey, what the heck…?" he demanded, looking around.

"HA, _HA!_" the triumphant cackle announced.

Everyone turned and saw Dr Brainstorm standing off to the side, holding the Time Pauser.

"So, it recharges automatically, eh? How very clever!"

Calvin, for once in his life, felt rather afraid of Dr Brainstorm.

"Now, now, Frank," he said calmly. "Let's do this rationally."

"**_DR BRAINSTORM!_**"

And with that, Calvin suddenly found himself tied to a chair next to Hobbes, with the MTM squeezed between them, inactive.

The two friends looked at each other in shock.

"Uh-oh," they both muttered.

Dr Brainstorm grinned, holding the Time Pauser above his head.

"Come along, Jack! We've got work to do!" he declared.

And he turned and fled.

Jack watched him go for a moment before facing the others.

"I think you should've realized that saying a sentence with the words 'Frank' and rationally' was going to go wrong."

Calvin glared. "Yeah thanks, Jack, I—"

In an instant, Jack was suddenly gone, and they could hear the sound of the doors opening in the shuttle room.

"What do we do now?" Hobbes demanded. "By the time we get untied, he may actually be halfway to ruling the world!"

"Hang on, I have an idea," Calvin said. "But we need to implement it before he goes into time stop again."

Jack looked around in confusion, startled to find himself in the rocket again. He blinked and looked around and saw Dr B was at the control panel, finishing up with reconnecting the Time Pauser to the ship.

"Nice solid work, Frank," Jack sighed. "Now what do we do?"

"Well, once we reenter time stop, we shall once again get set to take over the world."

"How do we do that?"

"We'll go to the White House, and I'll use the Time Pauser to disarm every single Secret Service Agent I can find! With no one to get in my way, I'll demand that the president give me control of the country."

"You know, you really don't have a clue how the world's systems of ruling work, do you?"

"HEY, THERE ARE _NO _MANUALS FOR THIS SORT OF THING!"

Jack rolled his eyes and sat down in his chair, pulling out a magazine.

Finally, Dr B finished what he was doing and proceeded to push some buttons.

"Alright, let's see… Landing Bay doors nearly open!"

"Have you almost got it yet?" Hobbes hissed.

"Almost… Maybe, I'm not actually sure…"

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

Calvin had managed to get a hand down his pocket and was rooting around for the Hypercube.

"Wait… I think that's… No, wait that's just a compact disk… Wait… I think I've almost…"

Then they heard a loud roaring noise coming from the landing bay.

"He's taking off!" Hobbes wailed.

"Hold on, hold on… …_say_!"

"And here we go!" Dr B announced.

As the rocket aimed up at the opening landing bay doors and was released, Dr B pressed the button on the Time Pauser.

**_BOOOOOOOOOOOM!_**

The white shockwave exploded out around the ship and everything around them came to a stop.

"NOW OFF WE GO!"

And the rocket took off through the sky, flying past the frozen birds and people.

"Alright, here we go! Now let's get me this planet!"

"Yeah, whatever."

"Now then, what shall we do with the citizens?"

"I thought you were going to make them erect huge statues in your image."

"Nahh, that's so passé. I was thinking more like an annual Guitar Hero Day!"

Jack sighed. "Oh brother…"

"Yep! Everyone on the planet has to play Guitar Hero once a day out the year!"

"Indeed?"

"Yes. Now, I was considering it to be a _May _holiday…"

"How about we leave the ideas until we actually have the planet under your control?"

"Jack, you can't just waltz in with nothing to do! You need to think these things out! If you don't, you end up having all the power and no plans on what to do with it! Now what would _you _do if you had control of the planet?"

"I'd make a law that you can't be a successful star until you're twenty."

"What? But Jack, the world needs child actors!"

"I'm just sick of always turning on the TV and hearing about the Olsen Twins and Lindsay Lohan and all the others getting themselves into some sort of trouble. I can't watch _The Parent Trap _anymore."

"Whatever. Well, you'd better think of some ideas fast, because within the next couple of hours, I'll have the world in my power, and finally, not even _Calvin _can stop me now!"

"Oh, I beg to differ, Frank," Calvin replied.

Dr Brainstorm whirled around in his chair and stared at the boy standing casually at the other end of the room.

"But…but how did you…? WHAT THE HECK ARE _YOU _DOING UP IN HERE?"

Calvin pulled a round disk out of his pocket.

"Time Disk: it's linked with the Time Pauser. I went into time stop at the same time as you guys."

Dr Brainstorm stared at him before smacking his forehead.

"Dang it!" he yelled. "I _KNEW _IT WAS TOO EASY!"

Calvin smirked and pulled out the Transmogrifier Gun. "You either give me back the Time Pauser, or I'll destroy it."

Brainstorm glared. "Pah! You'd never dare! This is your invention!"

"Frank, I don't think you understand what it would mean. If I destroy the Time Pauser while it's activated, then we'll all be trapped here, within this one part of time. We'll be trapped in this single second forever with no possible means of escape."

Dr Brainstorm stared at him, his eyes wide with incredulity.

"You're…you're actually threatening to _condemn _me for all eternity?"

"Frank, you've actually got the means to take over the world right now. You've _earned _the right to be taken seriously."

"And yourself?"

"Occupational hazard."

"And Jack?"

"Sorry, Jack."

"S'alright," Jack replied, not looking up from his magazine while he piloted the ship with his feet.

Calvin and Dr Brainstorm held each other's glare for a long time.

Finally, Dr Brainstorm reached over and pressed the button on the Time Pauser.

**_BOOM!_**

The Time Pauser released the white shockwave, and time started up again.

Then he ripped it out of the circuitry and tossed it back to Calvin, who caught it with his free hand.

"Okay, let's go back to your lab," Calvin said, pocketing it.

"What makes you think I'll just let you go?" Brainstorm demanded.

Just then, they heard a pounding at the door of the ship.

"Oop, we got company stopping by," Jack announced, activating the doors without looking up.

The door to the rocket slid open, and when they looked outside, they saw Hobbes flying alongside with the cardboard box.

Calvin smiled. "Never mind," he said coolly. "My ride's here. See you guys later."

And with that, he ran from the rocket and leapt across into the box, and in seconds, he was flying away from them.

Dr Brainstorm stared in a stupor for a moment before rolling his eyes and shutting the door.

"Well, at least this wasn't a complete waste of time," he said with a sigh.

"How do you mean?" Jack asked.

Dr Brainstorm smirked as he took his seat again. "For just a few short minutes, I was a genuine threat to the planet."

Jack stared at him, letting him have the pilot controls again.

"You're really proud of this, aren't you?"

"Oh yes."

"You know, if you want to get technical, the whole time your were an actual threat, you were in time stop, right? That would mean it would be more like seconds."

"I WASN'T ASKING FOR YOU OPINION, JACK!"

"Yeah, yeah, let's just go home."

"Whatever…"

And with that, Dr Brainstorm turned the rocket around and they headed back for the lab.

"For the record, if it hadn't been for that Time Disk, I _totally _would've taken over the planet!"

"I imagine the Guitar Hero Day would've been spectacular, Frank."

"Yes, yes, it would have…," Dr B sighed.

They sat in silence for awhile.

"**_DR BRAINSTORM!_**"

Jack smirked as he flipped a page in his magazine, and they continued on their way.

**The End**


	7. POV

_Written by Garfieldodie and Swing123_

**POV  
**

**_CRASH!_**

**_BAM!_**

**_KAZAP!_**

**_WHAM!_**

**_BANG!_**

**_KABABABOOOM!_**

"TRY AND ACTUALLY _GET IT _THIS TIME, MTM!" Calvin wailed as he waved MTM like mad.

"And would it kill you to actually not _break _anything?" Socrates added angrily.

"It's not _my_ fault Calvin can't aim," MTM retorted.

"Well, whoever's fault it is, that person has to date broken three vases, two paintings, a bookcase and an entire refrigerator," Andy pointed out, surveying the damage to the mansion.

"I take it we're not counting the incident in the upstairs bathroom," Sherman noted.

"Call it what you like," Hobbes replied. "I myself am in denial that it ever happened."

Finally, they all stopped moving and looked around.

"Wait, where'd it go?" Socrates asked, looking around worriedly.

"It was here a minute ago," Calvin said. "MTM, can you find it?"

"Uh, guys…?" Sherman said, looking at the corner of the main hall.

"Just a minute, Sherman," Calvin replied. "MTM?"

"Its close…," MTM said vaguely.

"Big help _you_ are," Hobbes grumbled.

"Guys?" Sherman said again.

"Hush, Shermie," Andy said.

"It's somewhere close by, I know that much," MTM said.

"We need _details_!" Socrates insisted. "Coordinate, directions, zip codes, _anything_!"

"It's still in the building."

"_Guys_!" Sherman finally shouted.

"Oh, what could you _possibly_ contribute to this?" Hobbes demanded.

Sherman glared at him and pointed down the main hall.

Everyone looked and saw what he was pointing at.

There was a blue sphere levitating at the end of the hall.

"GET IT!" Calvin shouted, running at it with MTM.

They all ran after him, all reaching out and hoping to get the orb.

But the orb was faster than they were, and it managed to dodge them, meaning that Calvin ended up knocking over a small table with another vase on it.

"ANDY, IT'S HEADING YOUR WAY!_ GET IT! GET IT!_"

Andy immediately started running, trying to stay ahead of the orb, but it went over his head as he leapt into the air to try and get it, and Andy went crashing into the sofa, causing it to rock backwards and tip over, and knock over another table.

The orb doubled the other way again.

"HOBBES! SOCRATES! _ONE OF YOU, DO SOMETHING!_"

Hobbes and Socrates immediately went chasing after it, knocking various items over in the process.

Finally, in a final desperate act of desperation, Hobbes pounced into the air as if he were attacking an elk. He flew swiftly through the air and reached for the orb, but it stopped and lowered down slightly, meaning Hobbes crashed into another vase, rolling around for a bit before crashing into the wall upside-down.

Growling with frustration, Calvin leapt into the air with MTM in his grasp, heading straight for the orb.

Andy managed to stagger upright again and head in that direction.

Socrates got up off the floor and headed for it as well.

Hobbes managed to get his senses back, and he covered the last available option.

All four were just about to close in on it when they heard something loud coming from the front door.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU ALL _DOING_ IN HERE?"

They were all so startled that they ended up crashing into each other in midair, and they landed in a heap on the floor.

Calvin was the first to look up and see who it was.

Elliot was standing in the doorway, holding his sunglasses in one hand as he stared at the mess in bewilderment.

Sherman was off to the side, staring at them. He finally addressed Calvin. "Oh yeah, cheese it, you guys. Elliot is home."

Calvin glared at him. "Thanks for the tip, Sherman," he grumbled.

Everyone slowly started to get up.

Socrates tried to look cheerful. "Elliot! Whatup? Er, we were just trying to catch this thing. You know, the thing that we…"

As he trailed off, everyone noticed that the blue orb was floating above their heads. The object flew around the room, almost taunting them, before it finally turned and flew out the open door and vanished high into the sky.

Fortunately, everyone's energy levels had lowered upon Elliot's arrival, and now there was just an awkwardness settling over the room.

"What the heck was _that _thing?" Elliot demanded. "What were you all doing chasing it? What were you doing _destroying my house_…_again_?"

Calvin gulped. "Oh, you know… It was… We were… It's really… Well… Huh, this is embarrassing. I'm really drawing a total blank here… We've never really had to explain ourselves like this before…with the odd chance that someone might believe the truth when they hear it."

Socrates grinned winningly. "So, Elliot how was your swim meet?" he asked.

Elliot glared at him. "How about you guys try telling me what happened, and it went well, I found a nickel on the way home!"

They all glanced at each other before Sherman finally scurried forward.

"Okay," he said, looking up at Elliot, "it's like this: I wasn't around for this bit, so it may be a bit off…"

* * *

_Socrates was sitting in his room, staring blankly at the wall and drooling slightly on his own foot. He was enjoying a day of sitting around and basically being a moronic simpleton. He was just considering watching _Fox & Friends_ when he noticed something floating around the room._

_"Duhhhh… What's that?" he asked, trying to uncross his eyes as he looked._

_There was a blue spherical object hovering in circles in plain sight just ahead of him, but he'd been so clueless, it hadn't registered in his mind that it was there for a good few hours._

_Socrates spent the best part of a half hour trying to determine what to do._

_"Hmmm… I could capture it and make it into my pet globe! I've always wanted a pet globe! I'll name it Peter! Who else would have a globe named Peter?"_

_And he tried all sorts of ideas._

_"I could…put it in a petting zoo…but then it'd be lonely…"_

_And a few more ideas…_

_"Oh! I could put it in a tree and stare at it all day!"_

_But he finally realized something that was…well, something that was wrong, but sent him on his way to getting another half-decent idea._

_"Ooh! It must that ghost come back to haunt my red-striped behind! I'd better go get Cally and Hobbo to save my sorry butt!"_

_And with that, he was on his way._

_He brought Calvin and Hobbes to his mansion, and he told them about it._

_"The ghost is back, eh?" Calvin said, contemplating this. "You're sure about that?"_

_"Yeah!" Hobbes said excitedly. "You sure it wasn't really a giant can of tuna?"_

_"I'm pretty sure," Socrates said nodding enthusiastically._

_Calvin rolled his eyes. "But you're certain it was the ghost? I don't recall the ghost being at all like a globe."_

_"You sure it wasn't tuna?" Hobbes asked._

_"Positive," Socrates replied._

_"Enough with the dang tuna!" Calvin yelled. "MTM?"_

_"Yo," MTM replied. _

_"Based on what Socrates described, what do you think it is?"_

_"Not sure… Let me see…"_

_MTM began revving._

_"Processing… Processing… Processing…"_

_Hobbes, of course, is an impatient fool, and he immediately got frustrated._

_"Hurry up, you electronic pancake! I want tuna!"_

_"I haven't said something moronic within the past fifteen seconds! I need to say something off-color now!" Socrates added._

_Calvin rolled his eyes and waited._

_"Okay…," MTM said at last. "I've figured out what it _isn't_."_

_"What isn't it?" Calvin asked._

_"It's not the ghost."_

_"Oh… Okay, then what is it?"_

_"I don't know."_

_"USELESS!" Hobbes burst out._

_"CUDDLE BUNNY!" Socrates yelled, grinning stupidly._

_Calvin sighed. "Come on, there's only one thing to do."_

_"What's that?" MTM asked._

_"Make a few copies of these scans, and we'll give them to __Sherman__."_

_"__Sherman__…?" Hobbes moaned. "Why do we have to go to _him_?"_

_"Because __Sherman__ is the smartest sentient being on the face of this Earth, and he is possibly our only hope in ascertaining as to what this thing is. Now come along. The genius awaits!"_

_But of course, Hobbes and Socrates are jealous imbeciles, and they kept insisting for a good amount of time that they could figure it out themselves before they finally agreed to come._

_Later that day, Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Socrates were gathered around __Sherman__ in his extraordinary laboratory. The intelligent, and rather gifted, hamster was working away at his giant computer, going through the MTM's files._

_"Hmmm…," __Sherman__ said, without a trace of ego._

_"What have you got, Shermie?" Andy asked._

_"Is it an evil globe bent on world domination?" Socrates asked excitedly._

_"Is it a round can of tuna?" Hobbes asked hopefully._

_"No it isn't, you fools," __Sherman__ replied, trying to be gracious to the morons. "According to all the available data and coupled with my own obdurate intelligence, I'd have to conclude that this entity is in fact some sort of sentient being."_

_"That sphere is alive?" Calvin asked._

_"Indeed it is. I've crosschecked all these references, and as far as I can tell, it is a creature from a parallel dimension, and it only appears when something infinitely significant is due to occur."_

_"You mean like it's going to rain tuna?" Hobbes asked with a crazed gleam in his eye._

_"Of course not! Don't be so depraved!" __Sherman__ scolded. "In theory, if we could catch it, then it would tell us something very important about the future. It will tell us of one singular event due to occur in the realm of possibility."_

_Everyone stared at each other._

_"Well…!" Calvin said at last, picking up MTM. "What say we go orb-hunting, boys? I don't know about you, but I feel like this is going to be a lot more exciting than that weirdo psychic hotline."_

_"NOOOOO!" Hobbes screamed, running and hiding under a desk and covering his face. "I don't want to do something that involves being remotely brave! I want to hide under something, sniveling like a child and eating tuna until I barf!"_

_"Come on, Hobbes," Andy said. "We're all going together. It won't be that bad."_

_"Yeah! Come on, let's go beat the tremulous beastie's buttocks!" Socrates yelled, laughing madly._

_And so, they all carried off to Socrates' mansion._

_Unfortunately, Hobbes is a cowardly wuss, and as such, they were all forced to drag him most of the way, as he wailed and screamed pathetically._

_Finally, they arrived at the mansion. They were all ready._

_"So how are we doing this?" Andy asked. "This place is huge. I doubt all five of us can cover it decently."_

_"Ooh! What if we all ate the dirty clothes, and we could pass ourselves off as laundry bags?" Socrates suggested eagerly. _

_They all stared at him._

_"Close, Socrates, but no," __Sherman__ said. "I would advocate that we basically await its entrance and upon seeing it, we strike using the MTM's energy blast to power it down. If it's able to evade that tactic, then one of us will be required to seize it by hand." _

_"Sounds good," Calvin agreed. "MTM, get ready for it."_

_"Okay, you guys do that," Hobbes said, clasping his hands together. "I'm going to go into the kitchen and gorge myself on tuna and then cower in the basement. Good day."_

_Calvin grabbed his tail and stopped him. "Come on, Hobbes, let's get ready."_

_Hobbes whimpered._

_There was then a fifteen minute wait where they sat in front of the door for the orb to arrive._

_During that time, Hobbes attempted to escape five times, and Socrates was trying to practice pouncing by attacking his own shadow._

_At last, however, the blue orb finally began to show itself, silently floating out from the shadows, looking for all the world like a lost ball._

_"There it is!" Calvin announced._

_"HELP! SAVE ME, TUNA!" Hobbes wailed, jumping into the air in terror._

_"GET READY TO SPILL THE FUTURE, BALL BOY!" Socrates roared, taking on a fighting stance._

_"Now wait just a minute," __Sherman__ ordered. "We need to do this rationally and calmly. We must proceed in an organized manner."_

_"DIE, DIE, DIE!" Socrates yelled, blatantly ignoring the well-meaning hamster and soaring through the air, knocking over a vase in the process and missing the target completely, mainly because it ducked out of the way just in time._

_Calvin sighed and aimed MTM._

_"MTM, get ready to fire!" he yelled._

_"Energy blast loading," MTM replied. "Three…two…one… Firing!"_

_A red bolt of light shot out of MTM and missed the clever orb, and it instead sent the adjacent wall on fire._

_"Whoops," Calvin said sheepishly. "Extinguish that, please?"_

_"Extinguishing," MTM sighed._

_White foam shot out from the MTM's front and splashed on the fire, putting it out._

_The orb did a small loop before heading up the stairs._

_"It's heading for the bathroom!" Andy yelled, pointing after it. "Let's get after it!"_

_"HIGH-HO, TINFOIL! AWAY!" Socrates crowed._

_And they all ran up after it._

* * *

"…unfortunately…," Sherman continued, "I'm sorry to say that we all got a bit of an adrenaline high, and as a result, we ended up losing track of what we were doing. We ended up destroying half the house, and that's just about where you came in."

Everyone stared at the hamster.

"Huh…," Elliot said. "So…that's what happened?"

Calvin scratched his head. "I…guess so…," he said slowly.

"In a…roundabout way, yes," Andy agreed. "I think that's…more or less what happened."

"Oh, give me a break!" Hobbes snapped. "That's not how it happened at all! Didn't you hear how he said I reacted! He made me sound like a cowardly tuna-addict! I don't recall mentioning tuna _at all _during this particular escapade!"

"Yeah!" Socrates added. "And what about me? You made me sound like some kind of hyperactive imbecile!"

"You kind of are…," Andy pointed out.

"No I'm not!"

"Yes, you are," Calvin said, glaring at him.

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are," Sherman sighed.

"_No, I'm not_!"

"YES, YOU ARE!" everyone shouted.

Socrates stared at them and glared. "Well, it didn't happen like _that_!" he snapped. "I suppose you're going to blame what happened in the bathroom on me as well!"

"What happened in the bathroom?" Elliot asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Now, now," MTM said, speaking up for the first time since Elliot's arrival. "I think if you want to hear a _true _account of what happened, you'll need the opinions of a machine that is uninterested in whose point of view it is, but it only concerned with the _facts_."

Elliot stared at the CD player in Calvin's hand.

"Er…yeah, okay," he said uncertainly. "What happened here, MTM?"

MTM electronically cleared his throat.

* * *

_Socrates was hard at work, trying to think up his latest prank ideas at his desk. He'd been working solidly all through the day, which is, although committed, is also a bit crazy. He was just about to wrap up his latest project when he saw something floating around the room._

_"What the heck…?" he said, looking up at it._

_The object was the aforementioned blue sphere. It flew there for a moment before turning and flying away._

_Socrates chased after it and tried to follow it, but it kept getting ahead of him. Eventually, he'd lost it entirely, but he was still curious._

_"It looks like the ghost is back again. I'd better consult the all-knowing and all-powerful MTM. He'll know what to do. I'll ask Calvin if I may acquire an audience with him."_

_A couple hours later, Calvin and Hobbes had brought the MTM to Socrates' mansion._

_"We, his humble servants," Calvin announced, "give you, the one, the only, the magical, the mystical, the wonderful, and the transportable…the Wise One!"_

_And with that, he got down on one knees and bowed his head, holding MTM above himself theatrically._

_Hobbes stood off to the side._

_"All hail the Wise One!" he cheered, dropping to his knees as well._

_There was silence until MTM deemed it appropriate to speak._

_"Who wishes to see me?" he asked._

_Socrates stepped forward. "It is I, o Wise One," he said, bowing his head. "I, your wretched and unworthy servant, have requested to speak to you."_

_"You may speak…"_

_"Oh, thank you, Wise One! I think you from the bottom of my tail! Thank you for hearing me out! Thank you, thank you, thank—"_

_"Oi! Get to the point, you!"_

_"Yes, Wise One. Apologies, Wise One! I will get to the point, Wise One!"_

_"Today, please…"_

_"Oh Wise One, a hex has been put upon my humble home! The spirit that haunted its besmirched halls has returned, and it is could very well be plotting to destroy me! I ask of you, as a humble tiger, to help me in vanquishing it."_

_MTM pondered. "Hmmm, I was going to watch _EastEnders_, but I suppose I could TiVo it until later… Very well! I shall see to your dilemma…"_

_"Oh thank you, Wise One! I shall be forever in your debt!"_

_"Yeah, I bet… Calvin!"_

_Calvin stood. "Yes, Wise One? What may I, your main wretched servant, do for you?"_

_"Scan the area. Get as much detail as you can on this place."_

_"Yes, Wise One. As you command, Wise One."_

_Calvin pressed a button on MTM, and he began revving._

_"Processing… Processing… Processing…"_

_After a few seconds, during which no one dared question how long the MTM took to figure things out, he finally had his answer._

_"It's not a ghost," he said simply._

_"He has spoken! All hail MTM!" Calvin cried._

_"All hail MTM!" Hobbes and Socrates said, both bowing._

_"Suggest we head over to __Sherman__'s lab to determine further," MTM continued as if they'd never spoken._

_"Your wish is our command, your lordship!" Calvin said. "Come, fellow minions! Off to speak with __Sherman__!"_

_"Huzzah!" Hobbes and Socrates cheered._

_Sherman, as per always when he must speak with MTM, immediately stopped what he was doing and gave MTM his full attention._

_"Oh, Wise One!" he said, bowing before him. "What may I do that can be of service to you?"_

_"I need you to tell us what it is that is lurking about in Socrates' mansion," MTM replied. "I have brought the data you will require."_

_"The Wise One has brought work for me! Oh, you are too kind, Wise One! I shall begin immediately!"_

_"Cheers, mate."_

_MTM was hooked up to the giant computer and __Sherman__ eagerly got to work._

_Andy came up alongside, hands clasped together as he dropped to his knees._

_"Oh, Wise One, what can I do for you while you wait?" he asked eagerly._

_MTM thought about that. "You may sit there and stare at the wall."_

_"Yes, Wise One. Thank you, Wise One!"_

_Andy then proceeded to eagerly stare at the far wall._

_Sherman__ spoke up a few moments later. "Oh, Wise One!" he cried, bowing. "The work is complete."_

_"Tell me what you found out," MTM replied._

_"Yes, Wise One. According to all the available data, I'd have to conclude that this entity is in fact some sort of sentient being."_

_"The sphere is alive?" Calvin asked._

_"Yes. Indeed it is. I've crosschecked all these references, and as far as I can tell, it is a creature from a parallel dimension, and it only appears when something infinitely significant is due to occur. In theory, if we could catch it, then it would tell us something very important about the future."_

_Calvin finally walked up._

_"Oh, Wise One!" he cried out, bowing down again. "Might a humble child please make a suggestion?"_

_"He may. Who is he?"_

_"It is I, Wise One."_

_"Oh… Go on, then."_

_"I suggest that we capture this creature for ourselves, Wise One! Perhaps it might aid us all! It could let us know about our own future!"_

_Hobbes suddenly stepped forward. "But Wise One!" he cried, bowing as well. "We do not know if it is safe! Suppose the creature is hostile!"_

_MTM pondered and then responded. "Then you shall have the honor of sacrificing yourself to save me should the issue ever arise," he replied._

_Hobbes bowed again. "Very well, Wise One," he said. "As you wish."_

_"Shall we depart, Wise One?" Socrates asked._

_"We shall. Who wants to carry me?"_

_All five of them suddenly descended upon the CD Player, all arguing over who should carry him._

_"On second thought," the muffled voice said, "perhaps we should just teleport."_

_Finally, they arrived at the mansion. They were all ready._

_"Oh, Wise One, might I inquire how we shall do this?" Andy asked. "This place is huge. I doubt all five of us can cover it decently."_

_"Indeed," MTM replied. "__Sherman__, what are your recommendations?_

_"Of course, oh Wise One," __Sherman__ replied, bowing from Andy's shoulder. "I would suggest that we simply await its arrival and once it comes, we strike using your energy blast to power it down. If it's able to evade that tactic, then one of us will be required to seize it by hand."_

_"Good enough. I'll prepare my laser. Calvin, prepare to strike."_

_"Yes, Wise One," Calvin replied._

_There was then a fifteen minute wait where they sat in front of the door for the orb to arrive._

_During that time, they all passed the time by singing MTM's theme song, which they had written themselves._

_At last, however, the blue orb finally began to show itself, silently floating out from the shadows, looking for all the world like a lost ball._

_"Oh Wise One, it appears!" Calvin cried. "Guide us!"_

_"Right then," MTM replied. "Socrates, try to subdue it."_

_"I am on it, Wise One!" Socrates replied, and he soared through the air, knocking over a vase in the process and missing the target completely, mainly because it ducked out of the way just in time._

_Calvin sighed and aimed MTM._

_"Are you ready, oh Wise One?" he asked._

_"Energy blast loading," MTM replied. "Three…two…one… Firing!"_

_A red bolt of light shot out of MTM and missed the clever orb, and it instead set the adjacent wall on fire._

_"Whoops," Calvin said sheepishly. "Oh Wise One, what shall we do now?"_

_"Extinguishing," MTM sighed._

_White foam shot out from the MTM's front and splashed the fire, putting it out._

_"Huzzah!" Hobbes cheered. "The Wise One has saved us all!"_

_The orb did a small loop before heading up the stairs._

_"It's heading for the bathroom!" Andy yelled, pointing after it. "Let's get after it!"_

_"WE MUST SECURE IT FOR THE WISE ONE!" Socrates crowed._

_And they all ran up after it._

* * *

"…and as it happens," MTM continued, "we ended up trashing most of the house, due to the fact that Calvin can't shoot worth a darn, and as a result, we ended up destroying your house. Then, of course, you came in and here we are."

Everyone stared at the CD player incredulously.

"Dear lord…," Calvin mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

"What the heck kind of fantasy land do _you _live in?" Hobbes insisted.

"What?" MTM asked, sounding genuinely surprised.

"That's not how it happened either!" Socrates snapped.

"Yeah, since when have we ever called you 'Wise One'?" Andy demanded.

"And we sure as heck won't bow before a CD player!" Sherman added angrily. "Next you're going to say we sacrificed the upstairs bathroom to you in effigy!"

"Again with the bathroom!" Elliot complained. "What did you guys do to my bathroom?"

"Don't worry, Elliot," Andy said reassuringly. "_I'll _tell you what happened. I won't stretch it in the least."

* * *

_Now, as you probably know by now, Socrates thought the blue orb was the ghost that was hovering around his house a few Halloweens ago, and you also know that Calvin, Hobbes and MTM came over and found it was not the ghost, but something else. So they brought it to __Sherman__'s lab where we looked it over._

_"Incredible!" __Sherman__ exclaimed. "It seems as though it's some kind of creature that can create total darkness! Just look at what it's done to my screen! It's _totally_ dark!"_

_"Er, Shermie, it's not dark. It's just not turned on," Andy said slowly, pressing a startup button on the side._

_"Oh… I knew that," __Sherman__ sniffed, staring as the data flew across the screen._

_"What have you got, Shermie?" Andy asked._

_"Is it the zombies?" Socrates asked excitedly._

_"No, I'll bet it's some kind of electromagnetic monster!" Calvin shouted._

_"No, it's probably some kind of intergalactic bowling ball!" Hobbes yelled._

_"Guys, guys," Andy said calmly, "how about we wait for __Sherman__ to _tell _us."_

_"Oh, okay," they mumbled disappointedly._

_"According to all the available data and coupled with my own obdurate intelligence, I'd have to conclude that this entity is in fact some sort of sentient being," __Sherman__ explained._

_"That sphere is alive?" Calvin asked._

_"So it's not zombies?" Socrates asked, let down._

_"I've crosschecked all these references, and as far as I can tell, it is a creature from a parallel dimension, and it only appears when something infinitely significant is due to occur."_

_"Does this mean that it's a crystal ball?" Calvin asked excitedly. "Man, that'd be _cool_! Can you imagine! Maybe there's some sort of intergalactic gypsy coming and she's gonna tell us our fortune!"_

_"Calvin, I think there may be more to it than that," Andy said._

_"In theory," __Sherman__ continued, "if we could catch it, then it would tell us something very important about the future. It will tell us of one singular event due to occur in the realm of possibility."_

_Everyone stared at each other._

_Then Calvin started jumping up and down. "I WANT IT, I WANT IT, I WANT IT, I WANT IT!" he yelled._

_"HIDE ME! HIDE ME! HIDE ME! HIDE MEEEEEEEEEE!" Hobbes wailed, diving under a table._

_"ZOM-BIES! ZOM-BIES! ZOM-BIES! ZOM-BIES! WHOOOOOOOO!" Socrates barked._

_"HEEL!" Andy suddenly shouted._

_Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at him._

_"Now let's be good and get going," Andy said sternly._

_"Yes, Andy," they all said, sounding like scolded children._

_And so, they all carried off to Socrates' mansion._

_"So how are we doing this?" Andy asked once they'd arrived. "This place is huge. I doubt all five of us can cover it decently."_

_"We could get out a fishing rod and catch it using a gummie worm as bait!" Hobbes suggested._

_"No! We'll use my gigantic magnet!" __Sherman__ suggested eagerly. "We'll use it to attract it to us!"_

_"How about we just use the MTM to power it down with an energy blast?" Andy suggested calmly. "If it can't be stopped long enough for us to get a decent shot, one of us could try and get it by hand."_

_"Sounds good," Calvin agreed. "MTM, get ready for it."_

_There was then a fifteen minute wait where they sat in front of the door for the orb to arrive._

_Calvin suggested blowing up the whole mansion, Socrates suggested blowing up Calvin, Hobbes suggested hiding from the explosions, and Sherman suggested what they could wear during the explosions._

_At last, however, the blue orb finally began to show itself, silently floating out from the shadows, looking for all the world like a lost ball._

_"There it is!" Calvin announced._

_"AGGGGGGHH!" Hobbes screamed. "WHATDOWEDO? WHATDOWEDO? WHATDOWEDO? WHAT DO WE DOOOOO?"_

_"Everyone calm down!" Andy yelled. "Socrates, try and get it!"_

_"DIE, DIE, DIE!" Socrates yelled, soaring through the air, knocking over a vase in the process and missing the target completely, mainly because it ducked out of the way just in time._

_Calvin burst out laughing._

_"HA! That's right, you dumb tiger! Break something!"_

_"Calvin, get MTM ready!" Andy insisted._

_"Huh? Oh, right! MTM, do the thing!"_

_"Energy blast loading," MTM replied. "Three…two…one… Firing!"_

_A red bolt of light shot out of MTM and missed the clever orb, and it instead sent the adjacent wall on fire._

_"Whoops," Calvin said sheepishly. "Extinguish that, please?"_

_"Extinguishing," MTM sighed._

_White foam shot out from the MTM's front and splashed on the fire, putting it out._

_The orb did a small loop before heading up the stairs._

_"It's heading for the bathroom!" Andy yelled, pointing after it. "Let's get after it!"_

_"AFTER IT, BOYS! HEAD IT OFF AT THE PASS!" Socrates crowed._

_And they all ran up after it._

* * *

Andy nodded and smiled, convinced that the true story had been finally revealed.

Calvin glared at him.

"OK, first of all, we are not all insane lunatics!" He said.

Andy rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, and besides, that's not how it happened either!" Socrates exclaimed. "Do none of you have any idea what actually _happened?_"

"Oh, you do?" Calvin demanded, crossing his arms.

"It just so happens I do!" Socrates said smugly, sticking his tongue out at Calvin. "For example, I never went into the bathroom, so you can't pin the blame of that on me!"

"We _all _went into the bathroom!" Hobbes said. "It's just as much your fault as it is ours!"

"_What's wrong with the stupid bathroom?_" Elliot demanded.

"Fear not, Elliot old pal!" Socrates declared. "I shall report the true happenings of the evening!"

"Oh, this will be interesting," Calvin groaned.

* * *

_As previously stated by our fine friends, Socrates had been seeing a strange orb floating around his house lately. Assuming it was the ghost having returned, he sought help from Calvin and Hobbes._

_DING DING DING DING DING DING _DONG!

_Socrates happily skipped to the door and flung it open._

"_CALLY! HOBBO!" He shouted, holding his arms out in greeting._

"_SOCRATES!" Calvin and Hobbes both shouted, also holding their arms out in greeting. Their insane grins matched Socrates._

"_We have come at your request to assess the ghostly damage that has been occurring as of late." Calvin grinned, wildly, skipping into the mansion with Hobbes short behind._

"_Brilliant!" Socrates yelled with delight. "It's so wonderful to have such caring friends as your self!"_

"_And you as well, Socrates ol' buddy!" Hobbes grinned back at him._

"_Don't know what we'd do without ya!" Calvin agreed._

_And with that, Calvin pulled out the MTM._

"_Right dudes!" MTM said, cheerfully. "What's going down?"_

"_We need you to scan the house to see if our _best friend_, Socrates, is experiencing any paranormal activity!"_

"_Right on!" MTM yelled, cheerfully. "Processing... processing... processing. Done!"_

"_All is successful!" Socrates yelled in triumph._

"_The presence is in fact not a ghost but something of different origin!" MTM explained. "I suggest we go off to see good ol' shermie the hamster for any further developments!"_

"_TO SHERMIE'S IT IS THEN!" Socrates cheered._

"_YAY FOR SHERMIE!" Calvin and Hobbes cried._

* * *

"_SHERMIE!" Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates all yelled in Sherman's lab later on, holding their arms out in greeting._

"_GUYS!" Sherman yelled, holding _his_ arms out in greeting. "To what do I owe to this unexpected visit?"_

"_We have for you a mystery to solve in Socrates' mansion!" Hobbes grinned, insanely._

"_Oh boy!" Sherman yelled. "How I love mysteries! Let's see the data!"_

_Later on, after examining everything, Sherman turned back to the group._

"_Alrighty-then!" He yelled, cheerfully. "After several carefully calculated calculations I have come to the distant conclusion that this sphere that our _best friend_ Socrates is seeing is in fact a creature from _another plain of reality!_"_

_Everyone gasped._

"_The sphere is..." Calvin paused for dramatic effect. "...ALIVE?"_

"_It is indeed!" Sherman went on. "It is in fact a creature that only comes when there is a event of significant significance is brewing to be happened. It comes with such knowledge so that should we capture it, it would share the secrets _OF THE FUTURE!_"_

_Calvin began jumping up and down excitedly._

"_Well, we must capture it! Who knows what sort of mysteries it would reveal to us?" He yelled._

"_But wait!" Hobbes yelled, dramatically. "What if the sphere would in fact cause bodily harm? I mustn't muss my coat up so close to lunch time."_

"_It's a risk we're going to have to take!" Andy exclaimed. "TO THE MANSION!"_

"_HUZZAH!" Everyone screamed so loudly that the room shook._

_And with that everyone ran out of the lab._

* * *

"_So how are we doing this?" Andy said excitedly as they arrived at the mansion. "This place is huge. I doubt all five of us can cover it decently!"_

"_We should wait here!" Socrates proclaimed. "For surely it will appear to our presence, and once it does that we shall capture it!"_

"_GENIUS!" Calvin yelled. "You're my _best friend_, Socrates!"_

"_I know, I know," Socrates grinned._

_And so they waited._

_There was then a fifteen minute wait where they sat in front of the door for the orb to arrive._

_The gang passed the time by skipping around in circles, singing camp fire songs, and pulling light hearted pranks on one other._

_At last, however, the blue orb finally began to show itself, silently floating out from the shadows, looking for all the world like a lost ball._

"_THERE IT IS!" Calvin screamed wildly pointing at it, dramatically._

"_FOR THE ALAMO!" Socrates screeched, diving at it._

_The orb unfortunately flew from the way of Socrates' well calculated plan, and he instead slammed head first into a vase, knocking it over._

"_HE HAS INJURED OUR _BEST FRIEND_, SOCRATES!" Sherman screamed in terror._

"_MTM! FIRE! AVENGE SOCRATES!" Calvin shouted aiming the CD player at the orb._

"_Energy blast loading," MTM replied. "Three…two…one… Firing!"_

_A red bolt of light shot out of the tip and headed for the orb._

_Unfortunately, the orb moved again, causing the blast to hit the wall and catch fire._

"_TRICKY LITTLE BUGGER!" Hobbes shouted._

"_Extinguishing," MTM said, a little too happily._

_White foam shot out from the MTM's front and splashed on the fire, putting it out._

"_WE SHALL PREVAIL!" Sherman screamed._

_The orb did a small loop before heading up the stairs._

"_IT'S HEADING FOR THE BATHROOM!" Andy screeched, hysterically. "DON'T LET IT ESCAPE OUR CLEVER GRASP!"_

_And with that the group of friends started laughing insanely and heading up to the bathroom, knocking things over as they went._

* * *

"All and all, we ended up destroying the house, because of its insistent dodges and loop-de-loops," Socrates concluded. "Thus wrapping up the true report of the afternoon!"

Silence filled the land.

Everyone stared at Socrates with blank unblinking expressions.

Socrates simply stood there, looking quite proud of himself, and nodding at everyone around him.

"Socrates?" Calvin asked, slowly.

"Yes, ol' buddy?" Socrates grinned, turning to Calvin.

"Do you ever get the feeling that you very well may be insane?" He said, simply.

Socrates blinked.

"Well, on the one hand, our acting like that may very well explain the bathroom." Andy nodded.

"I swear, if you don't tell me what's wrong with the bathroom..." Elliot began.

"Alright, my turn," Hobbes said, stepping forward. "I want to see how well _I _can exaggerate the story, now."

* * *

_Hobbes was sitting in Calvin's bedroom reading a comic book one lovely spring day._

_Suddenly, though, it was interrupted by Calvin entering the room, holding the phone in his hands._

"_Hey Hobbes," He said, simply._

"_Hey, Calvin," Hobbes said, not looking up. "What's up?"_

"_Well Socrates just called." Calvin said, putting the phone down and sitting at his desk._

"_Oh? And what does he want?" Hobbes yawned._

"_He says he's seeing the ghost in the house, again." Calvin said, turning back to him. "He wants us to come over and investigate it."_

_There was a long moment of silence._

_Calvin and Hobbes stared at each other for a long moment._

_Then Hobbes reacted._

"_Then we must rescue our dear friend!" He shouted, bravely, standing up on the bed. "Even at the risk of our own lives!"_

"_Indeed," Calvin nodded. "Let's head out."_

_Calvin took a good six or seven minutes getting ready. The entire time of which was spent with Hobbes eagerly bothering him to hurry._

_At long last, they made it to Socrates' mansion._

"_Socrates!" Hobbes shouted, banging on the door, loudly. "Are you OK?"_

_After a tense second, Socrates opened the door. All together looking quite petrified._

"_Oh ,thank the good lord you've come!" He gasped. "I didn't know how much longer I would've last!"_

"_Suck it up, ol' buddy!" Hobbes said, patting Socrates on the back. "We're here! You're most definitely safe at this time!"_

"_We got MTM," Calvin said, boredly. "So we should be able to see what it is."_

_There was a pause as he pulled the CD player out of his pocket and pushed a button on it._

"_MTM, do a scan of the area and find out what this thing is." He ordered._

"_Processing." MTM replied._

_There was a moment of silence._

"_Hurry up man!" Hobbes yelled, impatiently. "Can't you see we have a friend in distress, here?"_

"_Processing." MTM said, ignoring Hobbes. "Processing. Done."_

"_What is it?" Calvin asked._

"_Well, it's not a ghost." MTM said._

"_PRAISE THE LORD!" Socrates screamed, falling to his knees._

"_Darn it!" Hobbes yelled, snapping his fingers in annoyance. "I wanted to beat him up!"_

"_So what _is _it?" Calvin asked, again._

"_I don't really know." MTM said. "I can't really understand it's energy signature. I would recommend giving the info to Sherman for analysis."_

"_Surely you're joking," Hobbes said, crossing his arms. "That hamster wouldn't even figure out that it wasn't the ghost to begin with."_

"_I know, Hobbes, I know." Calvin said, assuringly. "But it's all we have to go on. Come friends! We are off to Sherman's!"_

_Hobbes sighed reluctantly, but eventually agreed to do so._

_And so they headed out to Sherman's._

* * *

"_Wait... what did you want me to do?" Sherman asked, slowly, sitting hunched over in his chair, looking at them with big sleepy eyes._

_Hobbes heaved a deep sigh._

"_Alright, I'll explain it to you, again," He said, patiently. "There is something... in Socrates' mansion... and we want _you_... to find out what it is... do... you... understand?"_

_Sherman thought about it for a long throbbing moment._

"_I think so." He said, slowly. "Do you have the data?"_

"_Got it in the MTM," Calvin said, stepping forward._

_Predictably enough, it took Sherman a good hour and a half to figure out what the orb was. This may have been due to the half hour he spent trying to turn his computer on._

_Finally, though, his tiny hamster brain registered all the data, and he turned back a very impatient Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates and Andy._

"_OK," He said, staring off into space with his mouth agape. "I found out what it is."_

"_What?" Calvin asked._

"_It's really a living nonhuman being," Sherman explained, pausing every now and then to try and pronounce a word right._

"_The sphere is alive?" Calvin asked._

"_Uh huh." Sherman said, simply. "It's a thing from a place not close to here, and it only shows up when something's gonna happen. If we catch it, it'll tell us what."_

_Sherman then laid down, obviously exhausted from everything he had just said._

_Calvin rubbed his hands together._

"_Well, I don't know about you, but I'd say this is something worth looking into." He said. "Perhaps we should..."_

"_Of course we should!" Hobbes interrupted, stepping forward. "Let us not waste further time discussing what could be! To the mansion!"_

"_Right! Come along Sherman!" Andy said._

"_What?" Sherman asked, looking up._

_And with that, they all ran out of the lab._

* * *

_Finally, they arrived at the mansion.  
_

"_So how are we doing this?" Andy asked. "This place is huge. I doubt all five of us can cover it decently."_

"_Simple!" Hobbes said, stepping forward. "We shall wait here until it shows up! Surely a creature of such importance will show itself to a brave lot as of ourselves!"_

"_Sounds good," Calvin agreed. "MTM, get ready for it."_

"_Righto,"MTM agreed._

_And so they waited._

_There was then a fifteen minute wait where they sat in front of the door for the orb to arrive._

_At last, however, the blue orb finally began to show itself, silently floating out from the shadows, looking for all the world like a lost ball._

"_There it is!" Calvin announced._

"_HA HA!" Hobbes shouted, taking a step towards the orb. "You will now meet your downfall orb!"_

"_ATTACK!" Socrates screamed, leaping through the air at it._

_Unfortunately, he missed, knocking a vase over in the process._

_Calvin sighed and aimed MTM._

"_MTM, get ready to fire!" he yelled._

"_Energy blast loading," MTM replied. "Three…two…one… Firing!"_

_A red bolt of light shot out of MTM and missed the clever orb, and it instead sent the adjacent wall on fire._

"_Whoops," Calvin said sheepishly. "Extinguish that, please?"_

"_Extinguishing," MTM sighed._

_White foam shot out from the MTM's front and splashed on the fire, putting it out._

_The orb did a small loop before heading up the stairs._

"_It's heading for the bathroom!" Andy yelled, pointing after it. "Let's get after it!"_

"_What?" Sherman asked, squinting at the top of the stairs._

"_FASTER MEN!" Hobbes ordered. "Don't let it get away!"_

_And with that everyone raced towards the bathroom. Hobbes in the lead._

* * *

Once again, this story was greeted with complete silence.

Sherman was sitting on Andy's shoulder, seething with anger.

"Hobbes," Socrates said, patting him on the back.

"What?" Hobbes asked.

"I'm afraid that's not how it happened, either." He said, smiling to comfort him.

Hobbes glared at him.

"The bathroom!" Elliot said, looking upstairs, anxiously. "What's wrong with the bathroom?"

"All in good time, Elliot, old boy!" Calvin said, striding to the front. "You've heard all of _their _fabrications and weird spasms. Now it is time for you to hear _the truth!_"

"Ya know, really, I got the gist of it," Elliot said. "You really don't need to..."

But Calvin had already launched himself into the story.

* * *

_DING DING DING DING DING DING _DONG!

_There was moment of silence, then Socrates walked cautiously to the door, and opened it._

_Upon doing so, he straightened up, looked at Calvin and Hobbes with a serious expression and nodded to them._

_"Agent white fang. Agent child prodigy." He said, quietly._

"_Agent Prankster," Calvin said, nodding to him, silently._

_It may be a good time to note at this moment that Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates were all wearing black suits and sunglasses._

"_Request entry," Hobbes said, silently._

"_Request granted," Socrates nodded, stepping aside for them to enter._

_Calvin and Hobbes swaggered in, and Calvin pulled out the MTM._

"_Agent CD," Calvin started. "Initiate protocol twenty nine hundred."_

"_Ten four," MTM said._

_There was a pause as the MTM hummed silently._

_Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates all waited, patiently, occasionally looking from side to side, still retaining their stern expressions._

"_Finished. Report on paranormal status of current residence." MTM said._

"_Report," Calvin said._

"_No unusual findings to report." MTM said. "The creature of interest is of unknown origin. Suggest we report to Agent Squeak for further depth on the subject."_

_Calvin and Hobbes nodded silently._

_Hobbes turned to Socrates._

"_Agent Prankster. We request permission to divulge this case to Agent Squeak."_

"_Request granted," Socrates nodded, simply. "Agent Squeak will provide a more detailed report no doubt."_

"_Ten four," Calvin said, pointing at the door._

_And they all left._

* * *

_After battling through several barrages of ninjas, aliens and giant guinea pigs, Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates finally managed to arrive at Andy and Sherman's house._

_Battered and tired, the three walked down the stairs into Sherman's lab._

"_Anget White Fang." Sherman said, also wearing a black suit and turning in his chair. "Agent Child Prodigy. Agent Prankster."_

"_Agent Squeak." Calvin said, nodding to the hamster. "We have a case for you to review."_

"_Ten four," Sherman said, turning back to his computer._

_At that moment, Andy came walking into the lab. Predicably, he too was wearing sunglasses and a black suit._

"_Agent Homeschooler," Calvin nodded to him._

"_Agent Child Prodigy." Andy replied, simply._

_For a while, Sherman worked in silence._

_Everyone around him waited, patiently. Finally, he turned to the group, and crossed his arms._

"_What's the report?" Calvin asked._

"_According to all the available data, I'd have to conclude that this entity is in fact some sort of sentient being." Sherman said._

"_The sphere is alive?" Calvin asked._

"_Correct. I've crosschecked all these references, and as far as I can tell, it is a creature from a parallel dimension, and it only appears when something infinitely significant is due to occur. In theory, if we could catch it, then it would tell us something very important about the future."_

"_Our mission is clear, men," Calvin said, standing up. "We must capture this being and utilize its powers for future knowledge."_

_Hobbes stepped up._

"_Agent Child Prodigy." He said. "What is the threat level of this mission?"_

"_Probably relatively high," Calvin said. "It's a risk we'll have to take for the sake of science."_

"_Ten four." Everyone said in unison._

_And with that everyone left._

* * *

_And so the four battled their way through the ninjas, aliens and giant guinea pigs once again before arriving at Socrates' mansion. __In the process, the group lost several men, but Calvin swore their lives would be avenged._

_Upon arrival at the mansion, everyone stationed each other at different entrances._

"_So how are we doing this?" Andy asked. "This place is huge. I doubt all five of us can cover it decently."_

"_We wait for the orb to appear," Sherman said. "We will then subdue it for the sake of the future."_

_There was a moment of silence._

"_Ten four," Calvin said._

_And so they waited. It was a good fifteen minutes in which everyone simply stood still with stern expressions, only moving to look from side to side._

_At last, however, the blue orb finally began to show itself, silently floating out from the shadows, looking for all the world like a lost ball._

"_Alright men, I'm issuing a Code red!" Calvin said. "Agent Prankster! Subdue the target!"_

"_Ten four!" Socrates yelled, diving for the orb, which dodged him, effortlessly, causing him to hit the wall, knock a vase over in the proccess._

"_Agent CD! Fire at will!" Calvin ordered._

"_Energy blast loading," MTM replied. "Three…two…one… Firing!"_

_A red bolt of light shot out of MTM and missed the clever orb, and it instead set the adjacent wall on fire._

"_Initiate protocol seventy nine twenty." Calvin said, his manner unchanged._

"_Extinguishing," MTM sighed._

_White foam shot out from the MTM's front and splashed the fire, putting it out._

_Suddenly a giant robot crashed through the doorway, and began firing lasers at Calvin and Hobbes._

"_Agent White Fang! Code Red!" Calvin yelled, leaping from the way._

_The orb did a small loop before heading up the stairs._

"_It's heading for the bathroom!" Andy yelled, pointing after it._

_Upon hearing this, the robot leaped through the air, landed on the stairs and charged after the orb._

_Before anyone could react to that, however, a pterodactyl flew in from the kitchen and began shooting fire from its beak at everyone._

_Calvin began throwing exploding marbles at the dinosaur, which only phased it enough to transmogrify it into a group of ninjas._

_But before the ninjas could attack, the exploding marbles that Calvin had thrown had opened up a hole in the time vortex, sucking everyone inside and transporting them into the fifth dimension._

_Calvin crawled through the nothingness towards a giant shoe, that was hovering above the orb which was clearly taunting them, as it threw flaming toothbrushes at their stomachs with its invisible arms._

_It was at that point that a pair of giant nail clippers appeared out of nowhere and began chasing Socrates._

_And as if that wasn't bad enough, the giant robot had come back and was firing lasers randomly and the giant pterodactyl flew in and its wings transformed into giant machine guns when the ninjas..._

* * *

"Calvin, please just shut up," Andy groaned, burying his face in his hands.

Calvin glared at Andy, offended.

"I wasn't finished, yet!" He exclaimed.

Everyone rolled their eyes.

Elliot had been spending this whole time sitting silently in the chair in the livingroom, waiting for Calvin to finish. When the talking finally died down, he stood up.

"Alright. Everyone has told their version of the story. Now will someone _please _tell me what happened to the bathro..."

"Wait, everyone didn't tell their story yet!" Socrates piped up.

Elliot's eyes squeezed shut.

"Alright, Socrates, who else is there?" He sighed.

"You haven't given us your version, yet." Socrates grinned.

There was a moment of silence.

"You know what? I'm just going to go look, myself." He said, turning towards the stairs.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman watched him go.

"Alright, don't feel to bad for the bathtub," Calvin cried. "It put up a good fight."

Elliot sighed in annoyance as he approached the bathroom door.

There was a pause as everyone waited for the storm to arrive.

Suddenly, Socrates caught something out of the corner of his eye.

He looked around and to his shock, he saw the blue orb floating, almost tauntingly, next to arm chair.

He quietly poked Hobbes in the shoulder.

"Ow!" He hissed. "What?"

Socrates pointed at the orb.

Hobbes' eyes widened.

By this time, everyone's attention was caught.

Everyone turned and stared at the orb with fixated stares.

Calvin then tapped Socrates and motioned for him to go around.

Silently, Socrates crept out of the group, and circled the orb.

The orb began moving more erratically at Socrates' movements, clearly watching him.

At the same time, Hobbes moved around in the opposite direction, surrounding it.

The orb continued to float there, seemingly unaware of the ambush that was being set up.

Calvin pointed at Socrates, then pointed at the orb, then held up four fingers.

Socrates crouched down.

Calvin moved back from Andy and Sherman and aimed the MTM at the ceiling.

"ATTACK!" He suddenly cried.

At the same instant, Hobbes and Socrates pounced for the orb.

Effortlessly, the orb simply raised into the air, causing Hobbes and Socrates to collide with each other.

This, fortunately, was what Calvin was expecting it to do.

_**BRAZAP!**_

A ray of light shot out of the MTM and engulfed the blue orb.

"Got it!" He yelled, triumphantly.

The orb struggled and flew in all directions attempting to get away, but it was too late. It had been caught.

"VICTORY IS OURS!" Socrates cried.

The light was partially absorbed back into the MTM, as to bring the orb closer to Calvin.

Upon doing so, Calvin grabbed it, and the light disappeared, instantly.

The orb felt soft under his hands, almost as if it was made of fabric.

It struggled for a second, then finally surrendered.

"Ha ha!" Calvin grinned, victoriously. "Alright, buddy! Time to spill the future!"

There was a pause as everyone gathered around the ball.

They were expecting it to come out with an echo-y Wizard of Oz kind of voice, but interestingly enough, it did not do that.

Instead, it simply sent a stream of green energy into the MTM and then simply vanished from Calvin's hands.

"What the..." Calvin said, in shock. "What the heck was _that?_"

"Did it say anything to you telepathically?" Hobbes asked.

"No!" Calvin yelled. "It just disappeared! What the heck kind of stupid fortune telling was that?"

There was a pause.

"Maybe it whispered it," Socrates suggested.

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Oh, it told us something," MTM said, knowingly. "It sent a stream of information into my hard drive before it left."

All eyes went to the MTM.

"Really?" Andy said. "What did it say?"

"I don't know, yet," MTM said. "I'm still unscrambling the information. It'll take me a second."

There was a pause as everyone waited for MTM to process the info.

Finally he beeped.

"Done." He said.

"Great," Hobbes sighed. "What did he say?"

"They have returned." MTM said.

There was a silence.

"They have what?" Socrates asked.

"They have returned through the darkness," MTM said. "That's all it said to me."

"Oh god..." Andy groaned. "I knew it was just going to give us some kind of encrypted message that we won't figure out until it actually happens."

"Well, that's the thing about people and creatures alike that can tell you the future," MTM said.

There was a silence.

"What?" Calvin asked.

"They love to drive you crazy with the 'I know what you don't' routine," MTM said, matter-of-factly.

Everyone groaned.

Suddenly, Calvin noticed something of vague importance.

"Uh... Guys? Anyone notice that Elliot hasn't started screaming at us about the bathroom, yet?" He said.

There was a pause as everyone thought about that.

Then, all attention was directed at the stairs.

Elliot was standing there, staring into the bathroom, with his eyes bulging out his head and his mouth hanging open.

"I'd say it's shock," Socrates said. "Probably enough time to get you guys out of here before the hurricane arrives,"

"Sound advice," Hobbes nodded. "Well, even though we destroyed half your house and basically didn't get anything out of it, it has been a pleasure, Socrates,"

"Same here," Socrates grinned, shaking Hobbes' hand. "Until next time."

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman all rolled their eyes as they headed for the door.

As they closed the door behind them, they heard Elliot scream, "SOCRATES!"

"Ho boy..." Andy said, rolling his eyes. "We got out of there at the right time,"

"Indeed." Hobbes said. "Who wants to head back to the field for a game of Calvinball?"

"I'm in!" Calvin grinned.

"Sure," Andy shrugged.

"Mm," Sherman said, not really paying attention.

And with that, they all raced off, not giving the orb's information another thought.

And so comes this story to a close. Do you believe it?

**The End**

**Voice work**

**Pamela Segal Adlon** Calvin  
**Tom Hanks **Hobbes  
**Ryan Stiles **Socrates  
**Colin Mochrie **Sherman  
**Andrew Lawrence **Andy  
**Norman Lovett **MTM  
**Josh Hutcherson** Elliot


	8. White Noise

_And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series  
Written by Garfieldodie and Swing123_

**White Noise**_  
_

It was a rather nice day in August. There was a nice warmth in the air that was kept pleasurable by the gentle breeze in the air.

Calvin and Hobbes were sitting in their room, going over some of their latest plans for how they would be annoying Susie over the course of the week.

"Let's see…," Calvin said, going over his poorly-drawn yet elaborate plans. "If we were to somehow get her up into the higher regions of Sneer Hill, perhaps we could trick her into following the path that leads towards the swamp."

"Right… Then we could send the wagon rolling down the hill, she'd land in it and it'd carry her into the swamp," Hobbes said, sketching the escapade out on another sheet of paper.

"Yeah, yeah, that sounds good… However, she could probably easily guess that the wagon was ours, so we'd need to find a way to get rid of it so she can't make the connection…"

"Perhaps we could blindfold her somehow?"

"We could tell her we have an early birthday present for her."

"And it's so incredibly amazing that we need to shield her eyes from its radiant amazingness!"

"Er…yeah…"

They sat in silence for a moment.

"Or we could just dump a bucket of swamp water on her," Hobbes said at last.

"Yeah… Ooh! We'll fill water balloons with swamp water!"

"Yeah! Then we'll sneak up on her in the wagon!"

"Yeah! Let's get to work!"

They immediately started sketching out their new plans on fresh paper.

However, after a few minutes, Hobbes' head came up in a very cat-like fashion, as if he had just realized something.

Calvin noticed his motion. "What's up?"

"Something's…something's wrong…"

"What is?"

"I'm not sure… I'm just getting this…_feeling_…"

Calvin sighed. "What are you _feeling_, genius? We out of tuna? Is there a chicken on the front lawn?"

"Stop making fun of me! It'll come back one day! But this…this is a distinctly _evil _feeling. Something terrible is about to happen to us…"

"Like what?"

"Wait here. I'll scope it out…"

Hobbes slunk along on the floor, his whiskers twitching and his ears perked up as he slunk out of the bedroom.

Calvin rolled his eyes and continued drawing. "You can take tiger away from the ham, but you can't take the ham out of the tiger…," he muttered.

* * *

Hobbes slunk along the hallway and headed towards where the source of evil was emanating from.

The entire place took on a sort wildlife theme, as the house melted away and was replaced with thick bushes and weeds as Hobbes sniffed his way through the jungle, and he provided his own narration.

"Ever alert, the jungle cat is ready for any threat. Watch how he slinks silently along on all fours, waiting for his senses to pick up on even the slightest prickle of danger. Watch how he sniffs gently at the flowers and the grass, checking for any signs of treacherous predators, or maybe even his next meal."

Hobbes crouched down under a bush and pushed his way through the leaves and branches until he could see something in the distance.

There, perhaps fifty feet away, was an antelope grazing in the grass, as if it were in fact a gas.

"The jungle cat spies the evil… The creature just ahead knows what is happening… He knows that there is something sinister at work in the jungle. The tiger must now beat him into submission."

Rearing up on his hind legs, Hobbes let out a ferocious roar and bounded towards the antelope.

The antelope jumped in surprise before turning and running off across the plains.

Hobbes got into a nice steady sprint as he bounded after him.

The chase took them over rivers, under trees, around rocks and through a lake.

After a few minutes of an intense pursuit, the antelope was out of breath and collapsed from exhaustion in the middle of the jungle.

Hobbes was on it in an instant, bowling into it and grabbing on it as they both rolled around on the ground.

Finally, Hobbes had the antelope on its back and pinned it to the ground with his arms.

"Alright, you scum, talk!" Hobbes ordered, growling fiercely. "What do you know?"

"Alright, alright, I'll talk!" the antelope wept. "They're going out to dinner!"

"Who is?"

"Calvin's parents! They're going out to dinner to some restaurant, and she's coming!"

"Who's coming?"

"She'll be here soon…"

"_Who's coming?_"

"…so come on, dear, get dressed a little faster! She'll be here any moment now!"

"Who is…? What are you talking about?"

"I'm coming, dear. I've got a run in my stocking. Just a minute," the antelope said in a female voice now.

"What…? What?" Hobbes demanded.

He blinked a couple of times and noticed something a bit odd about this antelope.

For a start, it was beginning to look like a shoe.

Now the jungle was turning back into a hallway, and he found that he was outside Calvin's parents' bedroom. The door was open a crack, and he could just make out Calvin's dad putting on his clip-on tie.

"Well, we'd better hurry. They might give our table away, and Rosalyn will be kept waiting. Now where's my shoe…?"

Hobbes' eyes burst open and he span around in horror, sprinting back to the bedroom, leaving the shoe where it was.

Dad came out of the room and found it on the floor. He saw it in it's slightly mangled form and stared at it in confusion. "What the heck…?"

* * *

Hobbes exploded back into the bedroom and screeched to a halt, sending the papers flying everywhere.

"Oh great," Calvin muttered. "It's going to take forever for all of this to be put back in order…"

"Your parents are going out! Rosalyn's coming!" Hobbes cried.

Calvin stopped gathering the papers and stared in horror.

"No! Not Rosalyn!" he wailed. "We've gotta stop them from leaving!"

Calvin fled the room and skidded out into the hallway, just in time to see Mom leaving the room and coming down the hall towards the stairs.

"NOOOOOOO!" Calvin screamed, diving forward to block her path. "Do not pass! You can't leave me here with Rosalyn! DON'T GO DOWN THOSE STAIRS!"

Mom simply stepped over Calvin and walked downstairs.

Calvin stared for a moment before pondering to himself, "I think my evasive maneuvers need to be less evasive…"

Dad came out, sliding into his sport coat, and he saw Calvin on the floor.

"Get off the floor, Calvin. Now what do you know about my shoe?" he demanded, pointing at this scuffed shoe.

Calvin stared at him. "What would I know about your cheap footwear? More the point: DON'T LEAVE ME HERE WITH ROSALYN!" he screamed, grabbing Dad's leg.

"Calvin, get off my leg!" Dad ordered, trying to pry his son's viselike grip off his appendage.

"Not until you promise not to leave me here with Rosalyn! Please! Anyone but Rosalyn!"

"Calvin, we'll only be gone for an hour!"

Then they heard the telephone ringing downstairs.

"Honey, could you get that? I've got a six-year-old stuck to my leg."

"I've got it," Mom replied.

Dad continued to try and pry Calvin off his leg while they both listened to the phone call downstairs.

"Hello…? Oh, Rosalyn, hello. When are you coming?"

"Calvin, honestly, this is incredibly immature of you!" Dad snapped at last.

"How can you expect maturity from me? I can't even grow a mustache!" Calvin retorted, hanging on for dear life.

This continued for a few moments until…

"What do you _mean _you can't come?" Mom shouted from downstairs.

Dad stopped what he was doing and stared off into space as this computed in his mind.

"No… _NO!_" he shouted, finding the strength to wrench Calvin off his leg and sprint down the stairs.

Calvin got up, dizzy and disoriented.

Hobbes walked up to him. "How's it going?"

"I think…we're reaching some sort of negotiation…"

* * *

Dad practically flew down the stairs as he reached the phone and snatched it away from Mom's hand.

"Rosalyn, what's this about you not being able to come?"

"I'm sorry, sir," Rosalyn said in a very nasally voice. "I would come, but I came down with the flu, and I can't get out of bed."

"I'm willing to overlook that. How soon can you be here?"

"Sir, I'm sorry, but I can't come. I've been hacking and coughing all day, and I've got a killer headache. I don't need Calvin enhancing that, thank you."

"Well… Okay, fine, I guess we could try and find another babysitter. Get well soon."

"Thank you, sir. One more thing…"

"Yes?"

"I don't suppose you could pay me anyway. College tuitions are coming up and–"

"Rosalyn, you used that excuse last month."

"Ohh… Maybe I should just…"

Dad rolled his eyes and hung up.

"Well, we've got about an hour to check the phonebook for a new babysitter," he said, checking his watch.

"I'll get it out," Mom sighed.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Mom and Dad were hunched over the kitchen table, nearing the end of the phonebook.

"Well, that's about it," Mom sighed. "We've called everyone we know."

"And a few we didn't," Dad added.

"We're coming into the ad section now… Maybe there's a professional we can call…"

"Someone we can call who can be here within an hour? I doubt it's possible."

Mom flipped through regardless, checking each ad carefully.

"Let's see… Babysitters… Babysitters… Wait, here's one… Hmmmm…"

"Well?"

"It's interesting… They claim good service, they have good quotes… It's called _DB & JR: BABYSITTERS_. Their address is in town."

"Call them."

"Dear, shouldn't we—?"

"CALL THEM!"

Mom immediately dialed and listened for an answer.

"It's ringing…," she said hopefully.

* * *

Meanwhile, all the way across the country, down in Yellowstone Park, Jack was reading a magazine in the main control room. He was sitting in a swivel chair when he heard the phone ringing. He casually reached over and picked it up off the cradle and brought it to his ear.

"Hello?" he asked in a bored sort of voice.

"Yes, hello, is this the babysitting service?" Mom asked.

Jack didn't look up yet. He was still concentrating on an article about liposuction.

"The what?" he asked.

"The babysitting service. It was in the phone book. This is the number we were given. Is this it?"

Jack looked up, now a little confused.

"No, it isn't. Sorry," he said.

"But it must be it! This is the number in the phone book!"

"I'm sorry. It might've been a misprint. This isn't a babysitting service."

"Please! It must be! They wouldn't put the ad in the paper if it wasn't!"

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but what do you want me to do about it? We don't watch kids here. We can't even have goldfish in here. It isn't the type of environment for _sea monkeys_, let alone _children_."

"We're just asking you to come down and watch our son! Please! We need someone to watch him while we're out tonight and our regular babysitter cancelled on us!"

"You know, ma'am, maybe this would be a good time for you to get to know your son. Maybe you should spend some quality time together. Play a board game or whatever it is families do."

"Listen, pal, between Parent / Teacher Conferences and complaints from the neighbors, we've had enough quality time with our son. We need some time to ourselves for an evening. Now _please _get over here within the hour!"

"Ma'am, I'm sorry. We're not a babysitting—"

Suddenly, the phone was being yanked out his hand. Jack looked around and saw Dr Brainstorm standing over him holding the phone to his ear.

"Hello, DB & JR Babysitting Service. DB speaking. May we be of assistance?"

"Ah, and it all snaps into place," Jack sighed, putting his magazine away.

"Okay," Mom's irritated voice said. "Is this a babysitting service or not?"

"Yes we are, ma'am. I apologize for JR. He's a bit lost sometimes, but bless him, he tries," he replied, glaring at Jack.

Jack glared back.

"We need you to look after our son, Calvin. I don't suppose you would be willing to come down here right away?"

"Of course! We'll be there on the double. See you in a bit!"

"Wait, but we didn't give you the address!"

But Dr Brainstorm hung up anyway. "Not to worry," he said slyly, once he was done. "I know the place quite well."

Jack sighed. "Okay, I'll bite. What's going on?"

"I've set things up so that we can get into Calvin's house!"

"Did you?"

"Yes! I've been telling you about this last night!"

"Did you?"

"Yes! And the night before!"

"You did?"

"Yes! In fact, I've been preparing for this moment for a fortnight!"

"Huh?"

"How could you not remember this?"

Jack shrugged. "I probably wasn't listening again."

"You haven't been listening for the past two weeks?"

"Possibly longer, in fact."

"Jack, how on earth do you get by without listening to a word I say?"

"Cheerfully."

Dr Brainstorm glared. "Fine, whatever. The fact is we're going. Get a disguise on."

"Uh-huh. How're we getting there?"

"Oh, we'll just teleport over. The rocket is still in the shop."

"FM radio still busted?"

"No, no, it's fixed…mostly."

"Mostly?"

"It's stuck on a station that keeps spouting Rush Limbaugh…"

* * *

"Okay, they're on their way, I think," Mom said, putting the phonebook away. "Calvin, if they get here alive, I want you to behave yourself, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Calvin replied. "As long as it's not Rosalyn, I'm okay with it."

"I should hope so," Dad said firmly. "I hope they get here soon…"

As he checked his watch and Mom put on some lipstick, neither of them noticed a bright flash electricity light up outside their windows.

Calvin was the only one who saw it, and he watched with some degree of suspicion.

**_DING-DONG!_**

"Oop, I wonder if that's them," Dad said, hurrying over to the door.

When he opened it, standing on the front porch were Dr Brainstorm and Jack. Dr B was wearing a black afro wig, and Jack was wearing a hat and suit.

"You called for a babysitter?" Dr Brainstorm asked, trying to keep his crazy eye at bay.

"Yes, we did," Dad said.

"Excellent! I'm DB and this is JR. Where's the little rugrat?"

"Calvin's right over here. Calvin, come and say hello to Mr. DB."

Calvin stared at Dr Brainstorm with a bewildered expression before approaching warily. "Hello, Mr DB," he said slowly.

"Hello… Calvin, is it?" Dr B said innocently.

Calvin glared. "Yes, that's me."

"Wonderful! I'm sure we'll get along just fine."

"Yeah, I'm sure we will," Calvin replied, lowering his voice as he said, "just as soon as I know what you're up to."

Brainstorm smirked before coming to eye level with the parents.

"You have nothing to worry about. We are prepared for every happenstance. You go out and have a good time!"

"Yes, how much will you charge?" Dad asked worriedly.

"Oh, not to worry. We can discuss that when you return. Have a nice evening!"

And with that, he guided Mom and Dad out the door.

Dad glanced at Jack, who was watching the scene with great disinterest.

"You look a bit pale, you know," he commented.

"I'm albino," Jack replied, not up for making eye contact at the moment.

And with that, he slammed the door shut.

Mom and Dad stood on the front porch, stunned.

"Well…," Mom said, "let's get out of here."

"Right," Dad said, heading for the car.

They hurried into the car and peeled out of the driveway, hurrying to meet their reservation.

* * *

Dr Brainstorm watched them leave through the window, and then he turned to face the others.

"THEY'RE GONE! QUICKLY, JACK! SECURE THE HOUSE!"

"Check," Jack replied, casually reaching over and locking the door before he leaned against it.

At around that time, Hobbes came downstairs.

"What are they doing here?" he asked.

"Hobbes, meet our new babysitters," Calvin said, gesturing to the two figures in front of him.

"What?"

"Ah, yes, allow me to explain my excellent plan!" Brainstorm said, grinning madly.

"How about you just let Jack give us the abridged version?" Hobbes asked hopefully.

"Sorry, my short attention span got the best of me and I only found out when his parents called."

"Darn."

Dr Brainstorm glared at them. "Now then, as you know, I have been working on a crude time machine. Two weeks ago I journeyed to today, and I learned from various sources that this is your parents' 'Get Away From Their Kid' night, and then I learned that your usual babysitter would be sick today. So I went back in time to when they were printing this year's phone book, and I spent ten bucks to get this ad in the print. Then I tried to use the time machine to come back to the present, which would've been two weeks ago, but the time machine was broken, so I had to wait about nine months, living quietly and secretly under a bridge, and then upon a park bench, and then when the nine months were up, I snuck to Yellowstone and into the lab, and I took a chance to inspect the future time machine since the old one was broken, only to find it in perfect working order, so I had to sabotage the future time machine so my past self would follow the same pattern and no screw-ups were made to the timeline, and after two more weeks of waiting and spending most of them back in my own bed, I anticipated the phone call that would bring me here, and _here we are_!"

By now, Jack had just about nodded off, and Calvin and Hobbes had gotten bored and started conversing in the corner.

Dr Brainstorm stared at them for a few moments before grinning.

"I always knew my love for extreme exposition would come in handy one day," he said, pulling out his Servant Ray. "Servant Ray, _do not _destroy Calvin and Hobbes!"

**_KAZAP!_**

A bolt of red energy shot out of the Servant Ray.

Calvin and Hobbes thankfully noticed it in time, and both were just barely able to get out of the way.

"Well, maybe it won't be too bad," Hobbes suggested. "I mean, what damage can he do?"

**_CRASH!_**

They stared.

The shot struck the leg of a table which was holding a potted plant, which tipped over and smashed on the floor.

"Ah, I see…"

"Come on, let's consult MTM and figure this out," Calvin said, grabbing Hobbes' hand and dragging him upstairs.

"YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!" Dr B shouted.

His answer was the sound of Calvin's bedroom door slamming shut.

"Oh, I see. You can do both. Fine. Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Let us scourge the house! Find anything useful! See if there are any bits of technology we can take for ourselves!"

"In this house? I sorely doubt it."

"What makes you say that?"

"His dad likes to _camp_, remember?"

"So?"

"On an _island_, even when it's raining."

"Ah… So he'd rather live in a cave, is what you're saying."

"And he does everything in his power to make sure he gets as close as he can."

"Hmmm… Well, maybe we can raid the fridge…"

"Right-o."

* * *

Meanwhile, Calvin and Hobbes were hiding in the hallway closet with the MTM.

"Alright, MTM, let's hear the report," Calvin whispered.

"Well, if I'm not mistaken," MTM said in a normal voice. "Your parents will be home in approximately one hour and twenty seven minutes. Which means we have one hour twenty six minutes to get rid of Brainstorm, and another minute to reverse time vortex the house into being fixed."

"Which brings us to the problem of how the heck are we going to get rid of Brainstorm?" Hobbes asked.

"Just let him fight it out until he gets bored," Calvin replied.

"Ah," Hobbes nodded.

"Shall we get to work?" MTM asked.

"Well, let's let him find us," Calvin yawned. "That way we can burn another ten minutes or so."

* * *

Meanwhile, Brainstorm and Jack were sitting at the kitchen table.

Brainstorm had a bunch of blueprints laid out on the table and Jack was off to the side eating some leftover pizza.

"Alright!" Brainstorm said. "We have here a complete run down of the house!"

Jack leaned over and peered the papers.

"Huh." He said.

"This way, we'll know this house inside and out so we'll constantly be one step ahead of Cally!"

Jack stared at Brainstorm for a moment.

Then he looked down and sighed.

"Frank..." He said, slowly.

"DR BRAINSTORM!"

"Has is ever occurred to you that the fact that he lives in this house gives him some kind of an advantage?"

Brainstorm thought about that.

"Yeah... well..." He said, struggling for a response. "We still have the map and they don't! So you can just shut up!"

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Now, on to the task at hand! We must find Calvin and his robotic tiger and destroy them!" Brainstorm roared standing up.

"He's not a robot," Jack said.

"SHUT UP JACK!" Brainstorm screeched.

And with that, he raced out of the room.

Jack rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat, grabbing another piece of pizza.

"CALVIN! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!" Brainstorm screamed, tearing through the livingroom, knocking stuff over as he went. "You might as well give up now!"

Brainstorm stopped for a moment to see if Calvin would give up. When he didn't, he continued his ranting.

Calvin stuck his head out of the closet and peered downstairs.

Brainstorm was in the livingroom, trying to lift the couch while screaming his head off looking for them.

Calvin silently motioned for Hobbes to follow and he and Hobbes crept out, tiptoed through the hallway and into Calvin's bedroom.

Meanwhile, Jack walked into the livingroom, now holding a glass of chocolate milk, as he watched Brainstorm trying to lift the couch.

"JACK, HELP ME!" Brainstorm ordered.

Jack didn't move.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Brainstorm demanded, incredulously. "I'm trying to lift the couch to see if Calvin or Hobbes are hiding under it! NOW HELP ME!"

Jack rolled his eyes. He wondered whether to help Brainstorm to keep him from looking like even more of a fool or simply watch and see how far he went.

To avoid helping him lift the couch, he chose the first option.

"Yes because the chances of him being under the couch as opposed to upstairs in his bedroom are far more likely, aren't they, Frank?" He sighed.

Brainstorm paused.

He looked upstairs towards Calvin's room.

He dropped the couch.

"TO THE UPSTAIRS!" He shouted at the top of his lungs.

And with that he raced for the stairs.

"AND MY NAME IS DR BRAINSTORM!" He screamed on the way up.

Jack made no reaction as he followed him casually.

Brainstorm ran up to Calvin's door and began priming up his Servant Ray. Which loosely translated into he ordered it not to work.

And with that he flung the door open.

"BWA, HA, HA! PREPARE TO BE ERADICATED CALLY! SERVANT RAY! DO NOT..."

"Main headquarters breached. Initiating self defense mode." MTM said, which sitting on Calvin's desk, aimed at the door.

KABOOM!

There was an explosion of color as the MTM fired about ten of his weapons at the door at once.

"AAAAAAUGH!" Brainstorm screamed as he was thrown backwards and off of the railing.

Jack watched from the top of the stairs as Brainstorm landed on the floor in the livingroom.

Amazingly, he was unfazed as he stood up and looked around.

"THAT WASN'T FAIR!" He screamed at Calvin's bedroom.

Jack rolled his eyes.

Brainstorm dusted himself off and raced back up the stairs.

"Want to tell me how the heck you were just thrown off the second floor and survived?" Jack asked as he came up to him.

"Invisible, lightweight body armor!" Brainstorm giggled. "My body is completely indestructible for a total of seventeen hours!"

There was a pause as Brainstorm and Jack stared at each other.

Jack raised his eyebrows.

Brainstorm glared at him.

"Fine! Two hours!" He grumbled.

"That sounds better." Jack nodded.

"FOR THE ALAMO!" Brainstorm screamed at the top of his lungs as he raced back towards Calvin's bedroom.

KABOOM!

There was another explosion from the door and Brainstorm was once again flung from the a second floor into the livingroom, below.

Jack remained silent.

Brainstorm stood up once again and raced back up the stairs.

"YOU CAN'T KEEP THIS UP FOREVER!" He screamed racing back to Calvin's door.

KABOOM!

Jack heaved a deep sigh.

Brainstorm raced back up the stairs.

"Alright, Jack, we need a new battle plan!" He whispered.

Jack turned to him with his usual bored expression.

"Clearly the front door is unable to be accessed at this time," Brainstorm said, scratching his chin in thought. "Which means we have to find another way inside. But how?"

There was a moment of silence.

Then, Brainstorm snapped his fingers.

"Of course! We must scale the house and climb in through the window!" He said, triumphantly.

Jack rolled his eyes.

"I'll be right back!" Brainstorm said, running downstairs and out of the house.

Jack watched him go.

"Calvin, is it alright if I watch TV until you guys are done?" He called to Calvin's bedroom.

"Knock yourself out!" Calvin called back.

"Thanks," Jack said, turning and heading back down the stairs.

Brainstorm raced around to the side of the house, and stared up at Calvin's bedroom window.

He rubbed his chin in thought as he stared at it.

Then he pulled out his hypercube and began digging around in it.

Finally, he pulled out a grappling hook and began swinging it around his head.

He threw it as hard as he could as it flew over the roof and hooked onto the chimney.

Brainstorm pulled it tight, then began climbing up the side of the wall.

He grunted and groaned as he pulled himself higher up the wall, before finally he reached Calvin's window. By this time he was exhausted and gasping for air.

He tried to open it.

It was locked.

"DARN IT!" Brainstorm screamed, causing a few of the neighbors to stare at him, oddly.

Brainstorm then climbed down from the window and ran back to the front door.

Right before he reached it, however, Calvin appeared in front of it.

"HEY!" He yelled, diving for him.

Calvin stared at him blankly, before slamming the door in his face.

SLAM!

Brainstorm grabbed the doorknob and tried it, frantically. It didn't work.

"CALVIN! I ORDER YOU TO OPEN THIS DOOR AT ONCE!" Brainstorm screamed at the top of his lungs. "I AM THE BABYSITTER AND YOU WILL OBEY! OBEY!"

There was a pause.

Calvin didn't answer.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, CALLY BOY! MARK MY WORDS!" Brainstorm screamed, reaching into his pocket, trying to find his Servant Ray.

He dug through his pockets for a while before he realized that he had left the Servant Ray in the livingroom on his way outside.

"CURSES!" Brainstorm screeched, grabbing his head in frustration. "JACK! COME OPEN THE DOOR!"

There was another pause. Jack didn't respond.

"JACK!" Brainstorm screamed at the top of his lungs.

Jack looked up. He was currently sitting on the couch watching TV with a soda and a piece of pizza.

"Yo," He said, turning to the front door.

"JACK! I ORDER YOU TO COME OPEN THIS DOOR AND LET ME IN!" Brainstorm screamed, outside.

"I can't." Jack said, simply.

"WHY NOT?"

"I'm eating." Jack replied.

There was a long moment of silence.

Brainstorm stared at the door with a blank expression on his face.

"Jack, I must warn you," Brainstorm started. "If you don't open this door right now, this is all going into my report!"

"Oh, God forbid that." Jack said, turning back to the TV.

"OPEN THE STUPID DOOR!"

Jack turned the volume up on the TV.

"JAAAAACK!" Brainstorm screamed so loudly that the livingroom shook.

"Fine, if it will hush you up." Jack sighed.

He pointed his finger at the door, which began glowing like a sonic screwdriver.

Click!

Brainstorm opened the door and walked in.

"There! Now was that so hard?" He demanded.

"Yep," Jack said, taking another bite out of his pizza.

"No, it wasn't! Now where's Calvin?" Brainstorm asked, grabbing his servant ray and looking around, frantically.

"I think he went back up to his room." Jack said.

"Ah, thank you. PREPARE TO DIE, CALLY! BWA HA HA HA HA HA!" And with that, he raced up the stairs and towards Calvin's bedroom.

KABOOM!

The entire livingroom shook as another explosion occurred above Jack's head.

Seconds later, Brainstorm crash landed in front of the TV, blocking Jack's view of it.

There was a pause as they both stared at each other.

Finally, Jack spoke.

"Did you know more people die every year in vending machine accidents than shark attacks?" He said, nodding his head. "Very interesting show I'm watching here."

"Jack?" Brainstorm said, calmly.

"What?"

"Shut up."

Jack shrugged and turned the volume up even higher on the TV.

Meanwhile, Calvin and Hobbes were sitting quite relaxed up in Calvin's bedroom. The MTM was still pointing at the door.

They both had their arms crossed and were waiting patiently for Brainstorm to give up.

"So, I hear there's this new interesting thing going around with music, now," Calvin said.

"What is it?" Hobbes asked.

"A few artists are trying to mix together classical music with modern rock. Sounds like an interesting endeavor," Calvin said.

"Indeed," Hobbes said, rubbing his chin. "I suppose symphonic instruments could be used in a rock song,"

"Of course," Calvin nodded. "I personally think a little orchestral music can add intensity to a song."

"Well, take Within Temptation for instance," Hobbes pointed out.

"Exactly. They're one of the few bands out there that somehow make symphonic rock work."

Suddenly there was some bumping on the ceiling.

"He's in the attic." MTM said.

"Get him out, please," Calvin said.

"Righto." MTM said.

There was a pause.

ZAAP!

"OUCH! HOW THE HECK DID YOU DO THAT?" Brainstorm screamed, now back in the livingroom.

There was a pause as Calvin and Hobbes stared at the door.

"Peter Gabriel doing some pretty interesting things with that idea," Hobbes suddenly said, turning back to Calvin. "Rewriting all of his older numbers into orchestral songs. Sounds rather interesting, especially since the majority of his songs are otherwise very dependant on the sometimes elaborate drum rhythms he comes up with."

Calvin nodded in agreement.

Jack was still sitting in the livingroom watching TV through all this.

Surprisingly enough, his show was interrupted when Brainstorm came racing in from the kitchen, holding a bag over his shoulder.

"JACK!" He screamed, causing Jack to jump a little bit.

"Yes?" He sighed, muting the TV.

"GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME! We need to disarm Calvin's line of defenses so we can get into the bedroom and destroy him!"

"Mmhmm," Jack said, turning back to the TV.

"And it just so happens I have just the right thing to throw up there to disarm just such a machine!" Brainstorm cackled, reaching into the bag.

Meanwhile, Calvin and Hobbes were still discussing music when MTM suddenly broke in.

"Whoop, looks like the genius of Yellowstone is getting ready for something else." He said.

"What?" Hobbes asked.

"Can't tell. But he's not moving around downstairs anymore and he hasn't screamed in about fifteen seconds."

"Hmm, should be concerned?" Calvin asked.

"Like I said, too early to tell, but we'll find out in the next..."

CRASH!

Suddenly, something apparently made from glass came hurling into Calvin's bedroom and hit the wall, shattering into several pieces.

Calvin and Hobbes both jumped in shock as it did so, and looked around as to what it had been.

"What the heck was that?" Calvin demanded.

All eyes went to the wreckage of what had been hurled into the bedroom.

They stared at it for a long time.

"He didn't..." Hobbes sighed.

"He did," Calvin said, rubbing his temple. "The man just tossed a jar of peanut butter into my room."

Indeed, there was now a broken jar of peanut butter on Calvin's floor. The sticky food was now all over the wall and floor from where it had hit.

"K..." Hobbes sighed. "Just checking, but what the heck does he think he's accomplishing by doing this?"

"Well, it's either one of two things," MTM said. "Either he's trying to hit me and make it so I can't fire at him, or he trying to hit you. Either way, I'd say you'd better duck."

At that moment another item came flying into the room.

Calvin and Hobbes both ducked as it hit the wall very close to where the peanut butter hit, and basically exploded, sending a wave of white liquid everywhere.

Calvin and shielded themselves, then looked at what it had been.

It was a jug of milk.

"Oh for the love of..." Calvin moaned.

CRASH!

Suddenly, another jar came flying into the room and shattered on the wall, again. This one was jelly.

"MTM, put an energy barrier around the door, please," Calvin said.

"Shall I make it bouncy?"

"Please do,"

"Very well, then."

Meanwhile, Brainstorm was downstairs trying to find something else that he had raided from the kitchen to throw up there. Jack was kneeling next to him, pretending to help.

"Let's see, should I throw the soda packs up now or save them for if the pie doesn't work?" Brainstorm said, rooting through the bag.

"I'd say use 'em later." Jack said. "Use the most powerful weapons last, right?"

"You raise a fair point. EAT BANANA CREME PIE OF DEATH, PUNKS!" Brainstorm screamed, throwing the pie as hard as he could towards the upstairs.

There was a pause as both of them stared up at Calvin's bedroom.

They watched as the pie hit the invisible barrier around Calvin's doorway, stretching it out a little bit before flinging it back at Brainstorm and Jack.

"INCOMING!" Brainstorm screamed.

Jack pushed a button on his arm initiating a force field around himself whereas Brainstorm simply dove out of the way, and the pie hit the ground where he had just been, splattering Jack's barrier a little bit.

"So that's how they want to play, eh?" Brainstorm growled reaching into the bag. "Fine then! PREPARE TO BE DESTROYED BY CARBONATED DRINKS OF DEATH!"

And with that Brainstorm started chucking soda cans at Calvin's bedroom.

Each one hit the force field around the door and bounced off sending them hurling back towards the mad scientist.

Jack simply stood off to the side and watched silently as all this unfolded.

"JACK! TAKE COVER! THEY'RE TAKING COUNTERMEASURES!" Brainstorm screaming rushing into the kitchen as the soda cans were pelted at him.

Jack watched him leave, then walked back to the couch, sat down and turned the TV back on.

Meanwhile, Mom and Dad were walking out of their restaurant having finished their romantic evening, and were walking back to the car.

"Well, the sirens haven't started yet," Dad observed. "That's a good sign."

"Well, if this babysitter does a good job, maybe we can hire him again. They seemed nice, anyway," Mom said, opening the passenger side door and getting into the car.

"ATTACK!" Brainstorm screamed, racing up the stairs once again, firing his servant ray, randomly, knocking stuff off the wall and charring the furniture.

Calvin, who was now outside of the bedroom with Hobbes, aimed the MTM at Brainstorm and fired.

BOOOM!

"AAAUGH!" Brainstorm screamed, tumbling backwards at the blast, and falling back down the stairs.

"Report," Calvin said, turning to the MTM.

"We have five minutes before your parents get back." MTM said.

"Dually noted." Calvin nodded. "Come on, Hobbes, we have work to do,"

Hobbes sighed as he slowly trudged after Calvin, who started running towards the stairs.

Brainstorm leapt to his feet and started looking around frantically for some means of destroying Calvin.

Finally, he picked up a picture which had fallen off of the wall, and chucked it at him as hard as he could.

Calvin simply fired the MTM again, and knocked it away.

Brainstorm started backing away.

"JACK! INITIATE PROTOCOL THREE!" He screamed.

"Whatever," Jack sighed, muting the TV again, and standing up.

He walked over to Brainstorm and turned to Calvin.

"Don't kill him please." He said.

"Righto," Calvin grinned, saluting Jack.

"JACK! THAT'S NOT WHAT PROTOCOL THREE IS!" Brainstorm screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Protocol three, keep individual who called it from suffering an untimely death," Jack said, blandly.

"Wrong! Protocol three is for destroying the enemy!"

"I'm the computer, Frank." Jack moaned. "Which one of us do you think is right?"

"FINE THEN!" Brainstorm screamed. "Which one is the protocol for destroying the enemy?"

"We don't have one."

There was a moment of silence.

Brainstorm and Jack stared at each other for a long moment.

"WELL THAT'S JUST STUPID!" Brainstorm screeched, finally.

And with that, he whipped back to Calvin, thought for a moment, then whipped back to Jack.

"MY NAME IS DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!" He shrieked.

Jack waved him off and walked back to the TV.

Brainstorm whipped back to Calvin.

"AND AS FOR YOU!" He warned. "I WILL NOW DESTROY YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR! THERE SHALL BE NO RECORD OF YOU EVEN EXISTING! EVERYBODY WHO THOUGHT THEY KNEW YOU WILL THINK THEY'RE CRAZY BECAUSE THEY REALLY DIDN'T! What do you say about that?"

Calvin checked his watch.

"Well, you'd better hurry because Mom and Dad just pulled up in the driveway." He said.

Brainstorm stared at Calvin for a long moment.

Then, he spun around to Jack.

"JACK! CONFIRM HIS STATEMENT!" He ordered.

"Yep," Jack said. "They're getting out of the car right now."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS?"

"I was going to wait for the commercial," Jack said, simply.

"RRRRGH!" Brainstorm screamed in frustration.

He whirled back to Calvin, but he had already gone.

Him and Hobbes were running around the house, frantically with the MTM, focusing the concentrated time vortex on the broken up parts of the house, trying to fix it before Mom and Dad came in.

Brainstorm watched them for a second before realizing that he was in his lab coat and Jack was not wearing anything, clearing indicating that he was a robot.

"JACK! ACTIVATE THE DISGUISE UNITS!" Brainstorm screamed, frantically.

"Mmhmm," Jack muttered, pushing a button on his arm.

Mom and Dad walked up the sidewalk towards the front door.

"The neighbors aren't watching us go back in, that's a good sign," Dad said, looking around the area.

"Dear, just relax." Mom said. "Chances are something happened while we were gone, and we just have to prepare ourselves for whatever it is,"

Dad nodded and sighed.

He reached for the doorknob and opened the door.

"Hello?" He asked, timidly, peeking inside. "Mr DB? Are you in here?"

Brainstorm and Jack were now back in their holographic disguise units. They were both sitting on the couch watching TV, and the house had been completely restored to how it had been before they left.

"Ah! Mr and Mrs Whatever!" Brainstorm grinned, forcing a smile and standing up. "I take it your trip back was uneventful?"

"Erm... yeah..." Mom said. "Where's Calvin?"

"Ah the little tike was no trouble at all!" Brainstorm said, cheerfully. "He's up in his bedroom, preparing for bed. Right JR?"

"Yep," Jack said, not taking his eyes off the TV.

Mom and Dad exchanged glances.

"Uh... OK, then, so what do we owe you Mr DB?" Dad asked, slowly taking out his wallet.

"Owe? How can I possibly put a price on such a little angel?" Brainstorm asked, shocked. "Payment will not be necessary."

"I'll accept payment," Jack said, raising his hand, but still not looking away from the TV.

"No you won't!" Brainstorm snapped. "Anyway, we must be off! We have to go finish our blueprints for all those children's hospitals we're making, together, after we get back from helping all those poor untouchables over in India. Right JR?"

"Uh huh," Jack said, rolling his eyes.

"Good! Then let us depart!" Brainstorm said, grabbing Jack's arm and tearing him off of the couch. "Tell Calvin what a brilliant little boy he was!"

And with that, he raced out of the house.

Mom and Dad watched them go.

Suddenly, Calvin came walking down the stairs.

"Oh, hey Mom. Dad," He said, as if he had just noticed them. "And how was your evening?"

Dad turned to him.

"What the heck did you do to Mr DB?" He demanded.

Mom rolled her eyes.

* * *

Meanwhile Brainstorm and Jack were already arriving back at their rocket which had been parked behind the house.

"Alright Jack, so invading the home base proved to be a mistake!" Brainstorm said, climbing in. "Clearly their defenses are too powerful and the situation must be reconsidered."

"Indeed," Jack said, not really listening, also climbing into the rocket.

"So now it is time initiate Plan B!" Brainstorm declared.

"Plan B," Jack said, thoughtfully. "Does that by any chance mean coming back in the middle of the day, tomorrow to see if we catch them off guard or something?"

There was a pause.

"If it is, you'll never know!" Brainstorm spat, finally. "It's top secret! NOW COME! WE HAVE MUCH TO DO!"

And with that, Brainstorm started the rocket up, lifted it off the ground and flew off towards Yellowstone.

However, they both failed to notice a tiny robotic camera with legs which was sitting atop Calvin's fence.

Electricity was sparkling off of it as it watched Brainstorm and Jack fly away. It then focused on Calvin's house for a second, before disappearing behind the fence and out of sight.

**The End**


	9. Nocturnals P1

**Nocturnals**

"This meeting of the top-secret club **GROSS** (**G**ET **R**ID **O**F **S**LIMY GIRL**S**) will now come to order, Supreme Dictator-For-Life Calvin presiding. All salute!" Calvin announced.

Calvin and Hobbes saluted each other.

"First order of business: First Tiger Hobbes will read the minutes of last week's meeting."

Hobbes pulled out a notepad.

"Thank you," he said, clearing his throat. " 10:00 AM: Meeting called to order. 10:01 AM: Reading of previous minutes. 10:02 AM: Dictator-For-Life expresses disdain for recorded minutes. 10:23 AM: Dictator-For-Life completes expression of disdain. 10:24 AM: Reading of previous minutes continued and completed. 10:25 AM: Chief Strategist Calvin begins plans to ambush the enemy, Susie Derkins, with mushy apples. 10:30 AM: Plan put into action. 10:34 AM: Dictator-For-Life is grounded for a week by opposing forces. 10:35 AM: Medals of Bravery awarded to all parties. Meeting adjourned."

"Thank you. Now then, a field report from Head Scout Calvin," Calvin said, looking out over the neighborhood.

"What news from the front, Scout?"

"The enemy appears to be lying low today. Perhaps she is plotting?"

"I think it's more likely she heard you're not grounded anymore and is avoiding us for awhile."

"Hmmm… Yes, that does sound probable. Nevertheless, a close lookout will be kept for movement from her section."

"Check."

"Next item of business: we need to discuss a slightly more serious matter. Better record this, Secretary Hobbes."

"Yes, sir," Hobbes said, taking the notepad back out and flipping to a clean sheet of paper and getting a pencil out.

"Gentlemen, we are facing a potential threat that, while _not _being a slimy girl, is still a force that must be dealt with, and we must steel our resolve and prepare ourselves for it."

Hobbes wrote frantically. "_Dictator-For-Life Calvin gears up for a potentially dangerous assignment. All club member's on edge of seats as they await their mission._"

Calvin continued. "We have received word from our informant, Mini-Time Machine, that there is some sort of something is living in the void."

"_Dictator-For-Life describes enemy sketchily. Various club members gasp in shock._"

"For those of you who don't know, the void is what exists between the walls of the universe. It is a virtual nothing, and its inhabitants are virtually unknown. According to his interdimensional readings, this strange something seems harmless for now, but it is moving in our direction."

"_Various officers yell in outrage. Club members jump up and down atop their tables, spoiling for a fight._"

"We must take the utmost caution. We cannot know for sure what this entity will attempt, so it must be monitored _every second_."

"_Various shouts of agreement. More jumping on tables. Bottles smash. Pandemonium ensues._"

"So that's our assignment, men. Any questions?"

Hobbes raised his hand.

"The Chair recognizes First-Tiger Hobbes," Calvin said, motioning for Hobbes to proceed.

"How precisely will the monitoring process be implemented?"

"MTM is already watching it as we speak. I shall be on hand at all times if he needs to inform me of a change in activity."

"But won't that interfere in your non-club activities?"

"Such as?"

"You have school tomorrow."

"Ah… Well, I'll just have to make do. This is the risk of a possible endangerment to the universe, Hobbes! We must carefully pick our most important priorities!"

"I see. Point made."

"Good. Any more questions?"

They sat in silence, waiting to see if anyone would say anything.

"Very well then. Let's move out, men! Meeting is adjourned!"

They removed their newspaper hats and climbed out of the treehouse.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Yellowstone National Park, a tour guide was leading a group of people around the attractions.

"And if you'll have a look around here, you'll see the vast and wondrous plains of our park. This is perhaps some of our best examples of natural beauty!" he said grandly.

Everyone looked out over the field.

They could make out the odd burger wrapper or milkshake cup being tossed around in the wind.

Then one of them noticed the water buffaloes were coming in their direction.

"Why are those animals coming over here? Shouldn't they stay out there?" a woman asked.

"Unfortunately, a lot people ignore the signs we put up and go ahead and feed the animals anyway. It's getting ridiculous. They're like big house pets now."

"So what do we do if they get too close to us?"

"Oh man… Whatever you do, don't feed them marshmallows. Trust me."

The guide led them away from that spot and headed them over to Old Faithful.

"Now, if you'll watch from here, you'll see our most famous attribute, Old Faithful, our geyser. Eruptions from this old pit can shoot 3,700 to 8,400 gallons of boiling water to a height ranging from 106 to 185 feet lasting from one and a half to five minutes long. Intervals between the eruptions can range from forty-five to over an hour and a half, slowly increasing to an average of ninety minutes apart today. More than 137,000 eruptions have been recorded. If we wait just another minute, it should go off any second now."

A woman raised her hand.

"Is it true that there's someone living under the geyser?" she asked.

The guide sighed. "Look, I'm getting tired of answering that question. No. No, there is no one living under the geyser. It wouldn't be possible. The heat alone would boil them alive. Now please, let's just watch it erupt. Any second now."

Then there was a low rumble from under the ground.

"Here we go…"

Suddenly, there was a huge release of water and steam, all of it rocketing into the air.

The crowd cheered and clapped, taking pictures and recording it on cameras.

Satisfied, the guide enjoyed the view.

Then they saw something shoot out of the ground along with the water. Whatever it was, it was cube-shaped and heading straight up into the air.

"What's that thing?" a man asked, pointing at it.

The guide took out his binoculars and looked up at the object.

"I'm not sure. It looks metallic, and it seems to be covered in something… They look like wires…"

"It's heading this way!" a woman shrieked.

They all suddenly ran for cover, panicking blindly, trying to shield themselves.

Fortunately, when the object landed on the ground, it was several feet away from them.

"Okay, everyone stay back!" the guide shouted. "I'll investigate."

He ran forward and putting a pair of gloves on, he gently prodded the object. It was indeed a cube with wires on it, but it was also short-circuiting from its rather rough treatment. It had flashing lights and several buttons on it, but other than that, it didn't seem to do anything.

"Odd," he remarked, carefully picking it up. "I wonder what it could be."

Just then, a boulder nearby popped over and onto its side, as if it were on hinges.

Everyone backed away from it in shock.

And then, who should step out but Jack T Robot, looking around for a moment as if he'd lost something, muttering to himself, until he noticed the group of people nearby.

"Oh, hey!" he called over. "Did anyone see a thing fly in this direction? It was sort of boxy and had a bunch of wires on it…?"

Then he noticed the guide staring at him in shock, holding the device in his hands.

"Ah! There it is. Thank you," he said, coming over and taking it back. "Sorry about that, fella. Nobody hurt, right? It just sort of fell into the duct way and into the pit. Sorry."

Everyone continued to stare in shock at him.

"Anyway, enjoy the geyser. She's a beauty. Of course, then she goes off at three in the morning and wakes us up. It's a tad annoying. We're looking into having it fixed."

They still stared at him, no one saying anything.

Finally, someone had the place of mind to hold up their video phone and start recording him.

Jack rolled his eyes. "Really? A robot turns up and your first reaction is to film him and put him on the internet? Nice."

And with that, he held up a finger, which glowed blue, and suddenly the phone erupted in a shower of sparks. The stunned tourist dropped it in horror.

"Anyway, thanks for getting this thing for me. See you around," Jack said to the guide before heading back to the rock. He walked behind it and it slammed shut on top of him after he vanished.

Everyone continued to stare.

"I still had minutes left," the tourist grumbled.

The guide groaned. "One day at a time… One day at a time…," he muttered.

* * *

The elevator dinged musically and opened up, allowing Jack to carry the device back into the lab.

"Okay, I found it," he called out.

Dr Brainstorm looked up from his computer.

"Ah, so there's the little troublemaker," he grumbled, getting up and heading over to him. "Where was it?"

"Some of the tourists were pawing over it."

"_What? _The ordinary people saw it?"

"Afraid so."

"Well, did you kill them?"

"Er…yeah, sure."

"Oh, good. Yes, that's good. Can't let just _anyone _see my Recombobulator…"

"Right. Can't just let _anyone _see your fancy box that you rename once a week…"

"Oh hush, you."

Dr Brainstorm tossed the box aside and went back to his computer.

"Now then, let's see, shall we? I was doing something…"

"Good. It helps to have hobbies."

"No, no, I was doing something work-related… Ah, yes! I was monitoring that alert from the void!"

"What were you doing monitoring the void?"

"I got an alert from my Void-Movement Detector."

"Your what?"

"My Void-Movement Detector!"

"When did you make a Void-Movement Detector?"

"Two months ago! Goodness, Jack, where have you _been_?"

"Precisely where I don't want to be: right here."

"Oh, nice, very droll."

"Thank you. Now when did you make this Void-Movement Detector?"

"Well, it didn't start out that way."

"What was it originally?"

"Originally it was an ice machine."

"…it was an ice machine?"

"Yes, the one we have is on the fritz and I was trying to make a new one."

"Oh."

"And then of course, one thing led to another, and before I knew it was watching strange creatures flying around on a blank background like a screensaver."

"Huh, well, isn't that the way?"

"Indeed."

Dr Brainstorm plopped back down in his swivel chair and stared at the screen again.

"So what's going on in there?"

"Well, apparently, there's something moving about in the void. Whatever it is, its generating a lot of energy if it's detectable through the void."

"I suppose so."

"So you know what that means?"

"Yes, I do."

"Oh you do not!"

"I do."

"What then?"

"You want to harness this power for yourself so you can take over the world."

There was a pause.

"Oh. So you do know."

"You're not hard to read."

Brainstorm scowled and started typing.

Jack sighed. "May I point out that the only way to get to the whatever-it-is is it break a whole in reality and get into the void?"

"Of course!" Brainstorm snapped. "A simple task, really."

"First of all, no, it's not, and secondly, it's not a good idea either way. We don't even know what it is."

"Ah, but I'm a genius! I can open the void long enough to get that pesky power supply, and then close it before any damage is done."

"Yes, I admit you're a genius, but you're also about as coordinates as a one-eyed, one-horned, flying, purple people-eater."

Dr Brainstorm stared at him.

"What?"

"Well, they only have the one eye. They probably lack depth-perception."

"Ah… No matter! I shall get to work!"

And he stormed off to his lab.

Jack sighed. "I should probably get the gas masks and the iodine out," he muttered, heading for the first aide room.

* * *

The next morning, Calvin and Hobbes walked down the walk towards the bus stop and stood there, waiting for the bus to come.

Calvin pulled the MTM out of his pocket and checked it.

"Hmmm…," he said. "These readings are getting interesting."

"What's the thing doing?" Hobbes asked.

"Not much at the moment, but it seems to be moving closer to the wall of our universe."

Hobbes thought about this.

"Hey, our universe is constantly expanding, right?"

"Yes."

"So where exactly is this wall?"

Calvin stared into space for a moment, pondering that.

"Er… Why don't _you_ field this one, MTM?" he suggested.

"Yeah, sure," MTM said, wishing his could roll his eyes. "The wall is between the universe and the void, and it's always moving with the expansion of the universe. That satisfy your curiosity?"

"Yeah. Sure," Hobbes said with a sigh.

The bus pulled up moments later.

"Alright, I'll see you this afternoon," Calvin said, pocketing MTM and grabbing his book bag.

"I'll be here," Hobbes replied, tousling his hair.

Calvin clambered up the steps and walked down the aisle to a window seat and sat down, waving goodbye to Hobbes as he was driven away.

Once they'd been going for awhile, Calvin pulled MTM out again and started studying the readings.

Susie sat down next to him.

"Hi, Calvin!" she said cheerily.

"Mmm," Calvin replied, still glaring fixedly at the MTM's little screen.

"What are you doing with that CD Player? Are you listening to music?"

"It's not really a CD Player, Susie."

"What is it?"

"It's my MTM, my miniature time machine. Of course, I don't use it for time travel much anymore. It does lots of other things as well."

Susie stared at him before rolling her eyes. "You're so weird," she muttered.

"Only because you don't take the time to understand," Calvin replied swiftly, not even bothering to look at her.

Susie sighed and focused on her book instead.

"Did you even do your homework?" she asked.

"Of course I did," Calvin snapped. "I did a great job too!"

"Do you even remember what it was?"

"It was social studies! We did a paper on Ancient Greece!"

"Calvin, that was two months ago."

Calvin considered this.

"Oh… Well, better late than never. That's my motto."

* * *

Jack wandered around the lab one morning, heading for his favorite chair in front of the giant television screen. He settled down with his morning toast and orange juice and stared up at it.

"Okay, let's see… What's on CBS?"

He pressed the remote button and watched it roar into life.

"Eugh," he muttered, glaring at the screen. "Morning chat shows. Nobody in the world should be that perky in the AM."

He sat there for a few moments before shrugging.

"Oh well, I can't watch NBC or Fox on principle."

And thusly he sat there, watching a pair of overly-cheery morning people promote ridiculous products.

**_BABOOOM!_**

"Thank goodness," Jack muttered, getting up.

He strolled into the lab and looked around, trying to find the source of the explosion. He eventually found a great big skid mark on the floor that went three feet before disappearing altogether. Bits of metal and wiring lay strewn about the place.

"Frank?" he yelled. "Where are you?"

"**_DR BRAINSTORM!_**"

Jack looked up at the ceiling and saw that Dr Brainstorm was slammed into it, wedged into the crater he'd created in the process.

"…How goes progress?" he asked, crossing his arms.

"Hush, Jack! I'll have you know that this time it was a minor miscalculation this time!"

"You used that excuse the other five times as well."

"Hmph. Just get me down from here!"

Jack sighed and extended his arms towards the ceiling and latched onto Dr Brainstorm's sides, and then after a good yank, he had him down again, bringing some of the ceiling with him.

"There, all better?"

"Shut up, Jack. I'll harness that power if it's the last thing I do!"

"You know, one of these days, that phrase is gonna come back and bite you in the keister."

And with that Jack turned and left the room.

Brainstorm scowled and glared into space, trying to think of a new plan. His eyes wandered, and he glanced over at the tool area. He saw a pair of pliers sitting on the bench.

He stared at them for a few moments before a grin stretched across his face.

* * *

Miss Wormwood went through the motions as she got to work teaching her class.

"Alright then, class," she said. "It's time for math. We're going to continue working on subtraction for now, because some of you don't seem to be getting it."

Everyone suddenly looked at Calvin, who seemed very offended.

"Oh, why do you all feel that you can make the situation better by gawking at me? How does staring at me like I'm a freak make this better? How does it make our world better?"

They continued to stare at him.

"MIND YOU OWN BUSINESS!" he snapped at last.

Everyone quickly stared straight ahead again.

Calvin sighed. Sometimes offensiveness and brusqueness are the only things people listen to.

"Now then, if we may begin," Miss Wormwood said sternly. "We'll start with some basics. I want you all to go over these worksheets and once I've seen what you've learned, I'll teach accordingly."

So she passed out some worksheets.

As she did this, she noticed Calvin had the MTM out and was pressing the buttons on it.

"Calvin, put that away. I don't want you listening to music while we're working," she said.

"I'm not listening to music," Calvin replied. "I'm just checking on some sort of life form living in the void between our universe and the next one."

"I'll have no nonsense in my classroom, young man. _Put it away_."

Calvin checked the MTM's screen one last time before relenting.

"Alright, alright," he sighed, putting it in his desk.

"Thank you. Now get to work."

Calvin took the worksheet and got started.

Once everyone was working, Miss Wormwood sat down at her desk and got to work on grading papers.

There was silence for all of thirty seconds.

Then there was a strange beeping noise.

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! _

Everyone looked around, wondering what it was.

Calvin opened his desk and pulled MTM back out. He promptly checked the screen and typed some new commands into it for a moment.

"Calvin, what did I just tell you?" Miss Wormwood said warningly.

"Sorry, sorry, I forgot to turn the beeper off. It's just letting me know of some recent void activity," Calvin replied, not even looking at her.

"I don't want you disrupting class again, Calvin."

"I know. Just a moment, I'll set it to vibrate."

Calvin pressed another button on the MTM and put it back in his desk. Apparently not realizing he'd caused a disturbance, he set to work again.

Sighing to herself, Miss Wormwood went back to grading papers.

However, promptly ten seconds later, another noise was heard, sounding very much like a drill.

_VVRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! VVRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! _

Everyone looked up again and saw Calvin pull MTM out again and promptly begin to work with it again.

"Okay, that's it. Give it here," Miss Wormwood said, holding a hand out.

"But Miss Wormwood, I still need to study the void! Something is inside it and trying to break through to our reality! It could be dangerous! I need to know what its doing!"

"You are disrupting my class. I'll take your CD player, and you'll work these problems."

And with that, she took the MTM and went back to her desk, placing him inside a drawer.

Calvin tried to ignore the mocking smirks of his classmates as he angrily returned to his class work.

For ten seconds, all was quiet.

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! _

Everyone looked up once again.

Miss Wormwood sighed and reached into her desk to do something about the MTM.

Strangely, when she opened the drawer, she found it wasn't there anymore. She dug around trying to find it, but there was no sign of it.

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! _

Everyone watched her digging for a moment.

Calvin looked confused until he realized the beeping was coming from his own desk. He opened and pulled the MTM out, looking at it with a knowing smirk. He deactivated the beeping and checked everything he needed to.

"Calvin, how did you get that back?" Miss Wormwood demanded.

"It teleported back to me," Calvin replied, knowing full well Miss Wormwood wouldn't believe that.

"I don't believe that!" she snapped.

"I didn't think you would."

She walked over and snatched it away from him and took it back to her desk, this time locking the drawer when she put it inside.

Ten seconds passed, during which she watched Calvin very closely.

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! _

She quickly unlocked the desk and looked inside the drawer.

Once again the MTM was nowhere to be found.

She looked up and saw Calvin had it and was working with it again.

"Calvin, this is becoming intolerable!" she yelled angrily.

"Tell me about it. This void thing keeps coming in our direction. I'm getting worried."

"You are making a mockery of this class! Either you stop this nonsense right this minute and give me that, or I'm sending you to the principal's office!"

She took MTM once again and this time, she locked it in the filing cabinet.

"Now get to work!" she ordered.

Calvin quickly resumed work on his subtraction.

This time, twenty seconds managed to pass, and Miss Wormwood this time watched the filing cabinet, making sure nothing happened, and that Calvin couldn't get to it.

For awhile, she thought she'd finally outsmarted him, but then…

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! _

She practically leapt from her chair and yanked open the filing cabinet and dug around, looking frantically for the MTM.

It wasn't there.

And then she turned and saw Calvin once again working with it.

Her eye twitched involuntarily.

"That's it, young man. You're coming with me!"

Calvin was surprisingly willing, and he followed her obediently to the principal's office.

They walked in silence down the long hallway, and before they knew it, they were both standing in front of Principal Spittle.

"Okay, Miss Wormwood, what's he done now?" he asked tiredly.

"He's disrupting my class," she said angrily.

"I could've guessed that much. _How _is he disrupting your class?"

"It's his CD player. He won't put it away!"

"He's listening to music in class?"

"No, he's just fiddling around with it."

"Fiddling around with it? Do you have it with you?"

Calvin handed him the MTM.

Mr Spittle looked at it. "What about the headphones?"

"I lost those years ago," Calvin replied.

It didn't even look like an ordinary CD player. There was a large speaker grill in the middle and loads of complex circuitry and wiring going around it.

"Calvin, you couldn't even listen to music in this if you _wanted _to!" he said, looking very disturbed.

"Sure, you just have to select the right feature," Calvin assured him.

"So what were you doing with this in class?"

"Look, I'm sorry for the interruptions, but it beeps whenever something important is happening."

"Mmm-hmmm… Miss Wormwood, why didn't you just take the CD player from him instead of bringing him to me?"

"I did."

"You did?"

"Yes. He kept getting back."

"He took it back from you."

"…Sort of."

"Yes?"

"I put it in my desk drawer, and when I looked up again a few seconds later, he had it back."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, and then I _locked _it in my desk, and then somehow he got back _again_!"

"I see…"

"And then I locked it in the _filing cabinet_, and I watched it carefully, and then when I opened it again, it was gone, and Calvin had gotten it back _again_!"

Mr Spittle stared at her for a long few moments.

"Miss Wormwood, I think it's time you had that sabbatical we talked about. I think you're working too hard."

Miss Wormwood opened her mouth to say something, but then she thought about the whole scenario, stared at Calvin for a few moments and then glanced at the MTM before finally sighing heavily.

"Yes, maybe you're right," she said. "Come on, Calvin. Back to class."

She headed away.

Calvin quickly motioned for Mr Spittle to lean in close.

"She drinks the Maalox _straight from the bottle_," he whispered.

And with a wink, he picked up MTM and walked away.

Mr Spittle stared for a moment before shuddering and resuming his work.

* * *

Back in the lab, Jack was listening to the sounds of sparks flying and servos blowing up as Dr Brainstorm worked on his latest tasks. He was growing more and more bored as he waited for something to happen. But so far, Brainstorm hadn't destroyed anything since the ceiling incident.

Bored, he looked over the Void-Movement Detector. The computer was still beeping about the void thing, so he decided to take a look at what all the fuss was about.

As he took a close look at the screen, he saw that the view was of the wall between the universes, and the void was in the very narrow space in between. He then saw the void stuff that was getting all the attention, and something interesting was happening with it.

The thing was actually right between the void and this world, and it was actually trying to get in itself.

Jack thought about this.

This thing that Frank was trying to get at wasn't just some harmless entity.

It was actively trying to enter their world.

It was trying to enter their world.

Something about that told Jack something was up.

It was _trying _to _enter _their world.

Why would some non-sentient being try to enter their world?

It wouldn't. It couldn't.

That meant only one thing.

Whatever was trying to enter was alive.

And it wanted to enter their world.

"Uh-oh…," he whispered.

Just then, the door to the experimenting room burst open.

Dr Brainstorm was wielding a pair of pliers that were attached to various wires and coated with some sort of metal.

"THEY…ARE…_COMPLETE_!" he shouted.

Jack stared at him while Dr B held his dramatic position.

"What are?"

"My Interdimensional Pliers, of course!"

"Oh… When did you start on those?"

"Two hours ago! What do you _think_ I've been doing?"

"Hey, if the place isn't on fire, then it's usually none of my business."

Dr Brainstorm glared. "Fine. Well, I'm going to rip open a hole in the universe. I'll open it up just long enough to get the power from the void thing and then I'll snap it shut."

"How're you going to absorb the power?"

"You'll use your power extrapolator and contain it."

"I can't contain that much power."

"Then find somewhere to put it!"

"Where am I supposed to put it? Raw energy in this much open space could potentially destroy the world!"

"THEN I'LL THINK SOMETHING ELSE! NOW STAND BACK WHILE I RIP THE UNIVERSE!"

And then Dr B ran back into the experimenting room.

Angry and frustrated, Jack glared after him and then glared at the computer again.

Then he remembered.

It was trying to come into their world.

"Oh right," he muttered.

Dr Brainstorm held up the Interdimensional Pliers to the air and began to prime them up.

"Okay, here we go…," he said quietly.

The Pliers began to glow slightly, humming slightly, and they began to do something.

Specifically, they were beginning to rip the hole into the universe.

Dr Brainstorm stared in amazement at the rip he was creating.

"It works… _IT WORKS_!" he crowed.

Jack heard these words in deep shock.

Dr Brainstorm's stuff _never _works.

"Frank, don't open that hole!" he yelled, hurrying into the room.

"Why shouldn't I? The world is finally mine!"

"But there's something you didn't notice on the computer?"

"Oh yeah? What's that?" he snorted.

"It's already trying to get into our universe! It's _alive_!"

Dr Brainstorm stared at Jack for a moment, and then he stared at the rip he'd made.

Already, black smoke was pouring out of it and into the room.

"Ah…," he said slowly.

The black smoke poured all around them now.

"You know, in hindsight, I probably should've said that earlier," Jack remarked.

The smoke was now filling the lab.

"Close the rip, please."

"Er, yeah, hold on," Dr Brainstorm replied, struggling with the pliers.

But nothing was happening, and the smoke was still pouring in.

"Huh boy," he said, starting to cough. "Yeah, I think that's not an option right now."

"So what do we do?"

Suddenly, the smoke start to swirl around the room, and the sudden movement picked them both up and threw them into the wall.

**_WHAM!_**

They slid down the wall and landed in a heap on the floor.

"This is why I don't smoke," Dr B grumbled.

Suddenly, the black smoke swirled again, but this time, he went into the nearby computer.

"What's it doing now?" he asked, trying to see the screen.

Jack got up and walked over, looking at it. "I think… I think the whatever-it-is has gotten into the computer systems. It's flying through the internet. I think it's trying to figure out where it is, so it's gone to the biggest information source it can get."

"Oh great. We're going to have a great big gaseous entity running about who's obsessed with videos of fat goalies getting soccer balls in the business," Brainstorm grumbled, getting up and dusting himself off.

Suddenly, a shower of sparks erupted from the computer and it went dead.

"What happened now?"

"It's gone. Maybe it overloaded the server."

Then there was a crackling sound from the intercoms.

A deep, threatening voice rumbled throughout the lab.

"_I…AM…YOUR FUTURE…_"

Brainstorm and Jack stared at each other uneasily.

"_I…AM…_THE_ FUTURE…_"

Out of the corner of his eye, Dr B spotted a quarantine chamber. His cutting about the room, he measured the distance, calculated the necessary speed and made a decision.

He suddenly broke into a sprint and dove across the lab towards it, slamming his fist into the security pad, managing to strike the right code, and he dove through the opening door, managing to shut it behind himself before he hit the floor.

Panting heavily, he managed to turn around and look out the glass wall.

He could see Jack staring back at him from across the room.

"Nice sprint," he shouted.

Brainstorm glared.

Suddenly, there was a loud explosion from over him, and he watched in horror as a shower of sparks flew from above him. Then another bang came from the keypad. The whole thing rattled and quivered.

"_YOU WILL BE MINE!_" the voice shouted.

But nothing happened.

Dr Brainstorm smirked. "HA! My quarantine chamber is a success! It even keeps out otherworldly beings from the void! _I'M A GENIUS_!"

Jack rolled his eyes.

Suddenly, the creature materialized in the middle of the lab, glaring at Brainstorm.

"_You can't hide in there forever_," it growled.

Then it turned and faced Jack, who backed away uneasily.

"…_You…are irrelevant_," it growled, waving him off.

"Hey!" Jack yelled, feeling offended for reasons he could not identify. "Who're you calling irrelevant?"

But the creature ignored him. Instead, it dissolved into black smoke again and phased up into the ceiling and then out into the real word.

**To be continued...**


	10. Nocturnals P2

Meanwhile, Calvin was getting on the bus to head home for the day. As he sat down in his usual seat by the window, who should come sit by him, but Susie.

"Hi Calvin," She said taking her backpack off and putting it into her lap.

"Mmhmm," Calvin said, uninterestedly.

"I'd say today was pretty fun, huh?" Susie continued.

"If you say so," Calvin yawned.

"What was your favorite part?" Susie asked.

"Just now as I was getting on the bus." Calvin said.

Susie rolled her eyes.

"You just don't have enough patience, Calvin," Susie started. Calvin rolled her eyes, realizing she was going into lecture mode. "If you applied yourself more, I guarantee you'd get better grades and would have more fun all the while. I mean I know where you're coming from. If I didn't study and got bad grades I'd be impatient with school, too, but since I study before each test or assignment I have a better relationship with my schoolwork. It really is a lot more fun than you think it is Calvin. For example if you..."

_**WHIRRP! WHIRRP! WHIRRP! WHIRRP! WHIRRP! WHIRRP!**_

Calvin and Susie both jumped at the sound that suddenly started blasting out of Calvin's backpack.

Slightly relived to be away from Susie's rambling, Calvin frantically dug through his backpack looking for the MTM.

"What's that?" Susie asked, slightly shocked at the noise.

"It's an alarm! Level five! Something going on in the void!" Calvin shouted in terror.

Susie rolled her eyes.

Calvin pulled the MTM out and started pushing buttons on it.

The alarm quickly went off and numbers flashed across the tiny screen.

"It's gone!" Calvin exclaimed. "That's impossible! It's just gone!"

"What's gone?" Susie asked.

"The something that MTM was tracking!" Calvin said. "There's been a breach in time and space and now it's gone!"

"What does that mean?" Susie asked.

Calvin heaved a deep sigh.

"It means that a hole has been ripped into the fabric of reality! Someone or something has torn open a portal between this dimension and the void and whatever was on the other side got into our world!"

Susie stared at Calvin for a long moment.

"Erm... OK..." She started, slowly starting to inch towards the edge of the seat away from Calvin.

"There's only one thing to do!" Calvin declared. "MTM! Identify the breach location! We need to know where the whatever got in!"

"Righto," MTM yawned. "Should take a few minutes, however. I'll let you know,"

"Right then! There's hope for the salvation of reality, yet! So what were you saying, Susie?" Calvin said looking up.

The seat next to him was empty.

Calvin looked all around, before he finally saw Susie walking to the back of the bus and sitting down in another seat.

He sighed.

"Poor deluded dopes. They just can't wrap their minds around how much they're gonna die, at the moment."

"Shameful," MTM agreed.

* * *

All the smoke having phased through the ceiling, Brainstorm deactivated the quarantine chamber, and cautiously stepped outside.

"Well..." He said, looking around. "That was weird. Do you suppose we should be worried about that?"

"Well, let's see," Jack said. "It's an interdimensional pitch black smoke that patched into the speakers and said it was the future, tried to attack you and upon failing to do so, it went through the ceiling to reemerge in Yellowstone where there are thousands of people, from which it's going to do god knows what. I'd say we should probably be a little bit on edge."

Brainstorm glared at Jack.

"Real funny, Jack. Now quick! Patch me into Yellowstone's security cameras! We need to see what it's doing!"

Jack sighed and pushed a button on the console.

The screen above then went to static for a second before an image of Old Faithful appeared over it.

Everything seemed normal.

The tour was going on and another group of people were at Old Faithful waiting for it to blow.

Brainstorm and Jack exchanged glances.

"And here we see Yellowstone's most popular attraction, Old Faithful. This is one of many geysers from which..."

Someone in the group raised their hand.

The guide turned to them.

"No, there's nothing living underneath it." He said.

The hand went down.

"Now then, this is one of several geysers within the park which are heated by..."

Suddenly, the ground began rumbling.

Everybody began looking around with concern.

"Don't worry, this is all quite normal," The guide assured them. "Earthquakes here are actually quite common since we are built on a volcano."

Another hand went up.

"Yes, you in the back." He guide said.

"Why would someone build a giant tourist attraction on one of the world's largest super volcanoes?" He asked.

The guide paused.

"Erm... If you'll come this way, we have the Yellowstone gift shop." He said, turning towards a nearby building.

The inquirer rolled his eyes.

Suddenly, the ground started shaking again, this time more violent than before.

Several people were knocked off their feet as the ground shook like mad.

Then, Old Faithful starting spewing water into the air.

Everyone turned and watched the event unfold.

Several people noted that the water seemed a bit darker than usual.

_**BOOM!**_

Suddenly, the black smoke exploded from the geyser and shot out in all directions in large tendrils.

Realizing that that probably wasn't supposed to happen, people started screaming and rushing in all directions in a typical group panic.

The smoke covered the entire area of Old Faithful and engulfed everyone around it.

The screen Brainstorm and Jack was watching was now completely black and the screaming from all the tourists slowly died down.

A deathly silence moved in.

Brainstorm and Jack stared at the screen.

"Well..." Brainstorm said. "That's not good,"

"Nope," Jack agreed. "Probably not."

Brainstorm thought for a moment. Finally he came to a conclusion.

"Alright Jack! We must defeat this entity of unknown origin!" He declared.

"I see," Jack yawned. "And why might that be?"

"Clearly, I have brought this creature into this world, which means I have to take it out!" Brainstorm said, heroically. "Plus, I don't want it taking over the world before I do!"

"Mmhmm," Jack said, rolling his eyes.

"TO THE BRAINSTORM ROCKET!" Brainstorm announced racing out of the room.

Jack sighed and followed him.

He climbed into the rocket after Brainstorm where he found him frantically pushing buttons and closing everything up.

He flipped a switch and a loud hissing stung through the cabin of rocket.

"Airtight!" Brainstorm giggled. "Alright Jack! This may very well be our last day alive! Any closing words before I ignite the engines?"

"We're out of Dr Pepper," Jack said, rooting through the ice chest filled with soda at his feet.

"Good enough. BANZI!" Brainstorm screamed igniting the engines and aiming the rocket for the exit.

Fire spewed out of the rocket's engines, throwing them forward.

The boulder beside Old Faithful flipped over as the rocket exploded out of it.

Brainstorm leveled the rocket above the geyser and looked around.

"OK, Jack, We are facing an enemy of unknown power and evil! Therefore we must be cautious in our quest and be aware of all our surrounds until we figure out if this guy's a wimp or not." He whispered. "What do we do first?"

Jack reached into the glove compartment, and pulled out a magazine.

"Avoid the plume of black smoke that's heading towards us." He said, opening it up and leaning back in his seat.

"What?" Brainstorm said, looking up.

It was then that he saw it. The smoke was hurling towards them with ominous lights flashing from inside it.

"AAAAUGH!" Brainstorm screamed, covering his eyes seeming to forget that there was a steering wheel in front of him.

The smoke enveloped the rocket and searched for any crack or seam from which it could get into the cabin, but was unsuccessful.

Brainstorm, remembering that the rocket was airtight, quickly grabbed a microphone on the console and started shouting into it.

"I AM ADDRESSING THE BIG BLACK SMOKE THING THAT'S BOTHERING ME, TODAY! I demand you go back into the void and give me all your power so I can rule the world!" He screamed.

Jack rolled his eyes.

Upon Brainstorm's outburst, the smoke around him began to disperse and he could see the area around him, again.

Taking advantage of the situation, Brainstorm began pushing buttons on the console again and looking around for something to defeat it with.

"Quick! Jack! Use your scanning technology to determine what happened to all the people around Old Faithful!"

Jack looked out the window.

"I dunno," He said, turning back to his magazine. "They all look fine to me."

Brainstorm stopped what he was doing, and looked out the window.

There were still people running around in terror, but the majority of the group was now standing quite still. They were staring off into space and their arms held stiffly at their sides with their fists clenching and unclenching.

Brainstorm blinked.

"Hmm, yeah they do." He said, thoughtfully. "I thought the smoke had done something to them for a minute there..."

Jack shrugged and turned the page.

Suddenly, one of the people who was holding still, staring off into space, lunged forward and grabbed someone who was attempting to run away.

"AAUGH!" The person screamed, as the possessed person pulled him back.

Almost immediately after it made contact with him, the man stiffened, his eyes blanked out and he began clenching and unclenching his fists.

Jack watched all this from the rocket.

"No wait a minute," He said. "I think there might be something wrong with them..."

Brainstorm looked out the window.

Suddenly, the possessed people started chasing after the unpossessed, running them down, and as soon as they made contact, turning them into part of the smoke's ever growing army.

Brainstorm and Jack watched.

"That's probably not good," Brainstorm said.

"No, probably not." Jack shook his head.

Suddenly, the windshield was engulfed in black, again, as the smoke attempted to break into the rocket again.

Brainstorm glared at it.

"Do you mind?! I'm trying to watch the crazy people!" He shouted.

The smoke formed once again into a humanoid shape in front of the rocket, and the speakers inside began to crackle.

"You are powerless against me Doctor Franklin Brainstorm." It said in its deep threatening voice.

"I demand you tell me how you know my name!" Brainstorm ordered. "That's cheating!"

"I can see you for you are," The smoke went on. "I see everyone for who they are. They are weak. I do not need any outside source to know who you are."

"YES YOU DO!" Brainstorm screamed.

"I can see the whole of time and space," The smoke said. "Everything that is, everything that was, everything that may be, and you harbor a dark future."

"YOU DON'T SCARE ME WITH YOUR CLICHED LINES!" Brainstorm screamed.

"You do have to admire him for his patience," Jack admitted, turning the page of his magazine.

"He is returning," The smoke said, pointing its finger at Brainstorm.

"YEAH WELL, YOU'RE NOT COOL!" Brainstorm shouted back.

There was a moment of silence.

"Who's returning, just out curiosity?" He asked, finally

"And you, one known as Jack," The smoke went on. "Something's in your eye,"

"Mmhmm," Jack said, still not looking up.

"OK, seriously!" Brainstorm said. "You're about as impressive as Nostradamus! I think we've all had enough!"

And with that, the mad scientist slammed his fist on a button and a laser shot out of the rocket and hit the smoke.

For those unaware of the physiology of smoke, I will key you in on it. Lasers don't work on them.

Brainstorm stared at the smoke for a long moment, before pushing another button and activating his next weapon.

A rocket launcher lowered out of the belly of the ship, and aimed for the smoke. Two rockets were then shot out of it, and through the smoke monster.

Brainstorm glared at him.

"Well, that's just not fair!" He spat.

"Well, let's see, the rockets and lasers didn't work. Have we tried a simple vacuum cleaner?" Jack said, still not looking up from the magazine.

"Shut up, Jack, I'm thinking!" Brainstorm snapped.

Jack shrugged and turned the page, again.

Now bored with Brainstorm, the smoke turned and suddenly dropped to the ground.

"HEY!" Brainstorm screamed, offended at its departure before he could destroy it.

The smoke passed through several more panicking people, hitting them with his little mind-control trick, then shot off down the street in search of more to infect.

"We have to figure out what this thing's up to!" Brainstorm said. "But there in lies the problem. This guy doesn't really like to talk as much as most bad guys on this show."

Jack sighed.

"I think it's pretty obvious what its doing," He said. "It's smoke. Therefore it can get through someone from which it can control their brain. Which is why it had no use for me, being an artificial life,"

Brainstorm paused.

"The smoke inside of the infected person then works as a virus which will then in turn infect whoever else they touch." Jack continued. "The current order is to attack anyone who isn't infected."

"How the heck did you work that out?" Brainstorm demanded.

"I watch enough movies on the Sci-fi Channel to be able to figure these guys out, now," Jack said. "Repetitive plots at times but interesting what people do when they accumulate a lot of money and then say 'let's make a movie!'."

Brainstorm closed his eyes.

_**CRACK!**_

Suddenly a loud noise reverberated through the rocket. Brainstorm and Jack looked around.

"What was that?" Brainstorm asked.

_**CRACK!**_

Jack looked out the window.

"Hmm, looks like the Old Faithful gang are chucking rocks at us." He observed.

_**CRACK!**_

"What?!" Brainstorm hollered. "I just put a new coat of paint on this thing!"

Jack rolled his eyes.

_**CRACK!**_

"Well, this shall not stand! We're heading back to the lab, Jack! Prepare the..."

_**CRACK! RRRRRRRRRR! BWAM!**_

Suddenly, the rocket started shaking violently as a particularly loud crack sounded through the rocket.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" Brainstorm demanded.

"It would appear one of the rocks went into the engine," Jack said, calmly, still reading the article.

An alarm started going off and the rocket began spinning in a downward spiral towards the Earth.

"MAYDAY! MAYDAY!" Brainstorm screeched. "JACK! WE'RE GOING DOWN!"

"I noticed," Jack yawned.

"WHAT DO WE DO?!"

_**CRASH!**_

Before Jack could respond, the rocket smashed into the middle of the road, jolting Brainstorm and Jack but otherwise keeping them unharmed due to the rocket's unexpected durability.

There was a moment of silence.

Brainstorm took off his seat belt and looked around his now wrecked rocket.

Jack had somehow managed to keep the magazine in his hands, and was only mildly interested in the event that just occurred.

"Well," He said. "More comfortable than most landings this rocket makes."

Brainstorm glared at him.

"Well, thanks a lot Jack! Thanks to you not saving us in time, I need to build a new rocket now!" He grumbled, moving around in his seat trying to get out.

"That's a shame," Jack said, uninterestedly.

"Now help me find the teleport before..."

_WHAM!_

Suddenly, a face planted itself into the window beside Brainstorm and let out a ear piercing screech, as it clawed at the glass.

"AAAUGH!" Brainstorm screamed, falling back in his seat.

Almost immediately the entire rocket was overcome by the group of mindless zombies attempting to get into the rocket.

Brainstorm looked around in horror as the light was slowly blocked by the amount of people climbing on top of the window.

"JACK! EMERGENCY! WE NEED THE TELEPORTER!"

"You left it in the lab," Jack said, turning to Brainstorm.

"WHAT DID YOU LET ME DO THAT, FOR?!" Brainstorm hollered, as the group started pounding the windows with rocks.

Jack shrugged.

"I think the teleporter for the teleporter is in the glove compartment," He offered.

There was a moment of silence.

"How long have we had a teleporter for the teleporter?" Brainstorm asked.

"The same time you tried to build the teleporter in the first place, but all it did was teleport other teleporters to you." Jack said.

Brainstorm thought about that.

"Hmm, weird. SO GET IT OUT THEN!"

Jack sighed, and reached into the glove compartment, while glass started to crack.

"You know, the thought occurs that we could initiate a mind filter on these people." He suggested. "Being smoke, it shouldn't be too hard to disengage the mind control."

"ARE YOU MAD?!" Brainstorm exclaimed. "Clearly this creature is some kind of interdimensional being of intense evil and insanity! IT'S TOO POWERFUL FOR SOME SILLY MIND FILTER!"

Jack shrugged, and pulled a small remote control out of the glove compartment.

He pushed a button on it.

KAZAP!

In the seat behind Jack, another remote control appeared.

Jack threw the first one away as Brainstorm snatched the other up.

"PREPARE FOR TELEPORTATION!" He shrieked.

"Yep," Jack said, getting his magazine, before Brainstorm hit the button.

KAZAP!

There was a flash of blue light and Brainstorm and Jack vanished, just as the window shattered and the group of people got into the rocket.


	11. Nocturnals P3

That afternoon, Calvin got off the school bus and headed up the walk towards his house. As he walked away, he pulled out MTM and switched him back on.

"Okay, now that we're away from the peanut gallery, what news on where the breach came from?"

"Almost got it," MTM assured him. "I'll need a little longer."

"Yeah, alright," Calvin sighed, pocketing him again and heading for the front door. "I wonder what I can do in the meantime…"

He pulled open the door and started to head inside.

**_WHAM!_**

Calvin found himself up in the air and doing a somersault, only to come back down and land on solid earth, getting a mouthful of dirt.

Dazed, he looked up and glared at Hobbes, who was rolling around on the ground happily. He tore at the ground excitedly, digging with his claws.

"Ah, _there's _something I can do," Calvin grumbled, dusting himself off as he stood again. "I can strangle a certain tiger…"

"Aww, did somebody have a bad day at school?" Hobbes teased.

Calvin growled and tore after Hobbes, who promptly leapt up and ran away, laughing his head off.

They ran around the house and headed off into the woods.

Hobbes kept a pretty good lead, leaping over rocks and under logs, while Calvin had to struggle along, trying to keep up with his stubby little legs.

Finally, things got a bit trickier when Hobbes scampered up a tree. Calvin was forced to stand at the base, panting and gasping, while he clambered up and settled on a branch.

"Ooh, you think you're so darn _clever_," Calvin growled.

"Precisely," Hobbes replied, sticking his tongue out at him.

Calvin circled the tree, trying to find a good place to start climbing, when he heard MTM beeping away in his pocket.

**_WHIRRP! WHIRRP! WHIRRP! WHIRRP! WHIRRP! WHIRRP!_**

"Always when I'm about to kill my best friend…," he sighed, pulling him out again.

"Okay, I've got a fix on the hole," MTM announced.

"What hole?" Hobbes asked, not quite ready to come down yet.

"You remember that thing in the void I told you about?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, whatever it was, it somehow escaped from there to our world. The only way that is possible is if someone opened a hole in reality."

"I see. So we need to find out who opened the hole based on where it was opened."

"Correct. MTM, what's the verdict?"

"It came from underneath Old Faithful in YellowstoneNational Park."

Calvin and Hobbes stared at MTM for a few moments.

"Okay, doesn't Brainstorm have anything _better_ to do?" Hobbes complained, finally coming down from the tree. "I mean, doesn't he care about _dating_?"

"He'd be hard up for a date with that hair of his," Calvin mused. "But never mind that. We need to go have a word with Frank about that hole he's opened. He probably doesn't understand what he's dealing with."

"Too true, and he'll never listen to Jack about it."

"Come on. Let's head back to our room so we can get to work on it."

They hurried back the way they came and reentered the house, bounding up the stairs towards their room.

Once they entered, they set to work.

"Okay, you get out the box so we can travel there. I'll summon Andy, Sherman and Socrates," Calvin said.

"Right," Hobbes said with a nod, heading for the closet.

Calvin primed MTM.

"MTM, teleport the others over here, will you?"

"On it," MTM replied.

There was a sudden flash of electricity, and within a few moments, Andy, Sherman and Socrates appeared.

Andy was covering his eyes with one hand and had been about to pour something with his other hand, while Sherman looked like he'd been writing something on a clipboard. Socrates looked like he was holding something up above his head.

They all seemed to clue in to where they were and looked around.

"Oh this is intolerable!" Sherman complained. "We were about to mix those chemicals."

"Well, if we get back and find the lab destroyed, I think it'll answer any questions you had," Andy remarked, looking rather relieved.

"Oh, this isn't good," Socrates mumbled. "I didn't get a chance to set the timer…"

Everyone looked at him.

"What precisely were you doing?" Calvin asked.

"Oh, don't worry. I'm sure the aftereffects will only be temporary," Socrates said reassuringly.

Everyone sighed.

"Hobbes, have you almost got the box out?"

"Found it," Hobbes replied, pushing it out and towards them.

"Oh, great, what's happening now?" Andy asked warily.

"We're not going to Tierra Del Fuego to do your homework, are we?" Sherman asked.

"No, nothing so trivial," Calvin assured them. "Turns out Dr Brainstorm has ripped a hole in reality, and in doing so he's let some sort of creature into our world."

"Oh, those mad scientists," Socrates sighed. "When _will _they learn?"

"So I figure we need to go down there and confront him about this. Should only take a few minutes really, but I want us all there to be on the safe side."

"Why do we always have to come on these little adventures with you, anyway?" Sherman demanded. "Does it not occur to you that we have lives?"

"You're all essential!" Calvin protested. "Look, I know we don't necessarily like each other all the time, but what it all boils down to is that we make a good team. We all have our little niches to fill."

"We do?" Socrates asked.

"Sure! I have my unbridled genius, Hobbes has his agility, MTM has his gadgets, Socrates has his cunning, Sherman is clever, and Andy is…"

Calvin trailed off as he stared at Andy, who waited patiently for him to finish.

"…_really_ important," he said at last, looking a bit sheepish.

Andy glared. "I'll accept that for now, but I want something better by the end of the day," he said firmly.

Calvin nodded. "Okay, all aboard everyone," he said.

Everyone climbed into the box.

Calvin opened the window before he climbed in as well.

"Alright, all aboard for Yellowstone!" he yelled.

And with that, the box rose into the air and flew out the window.

* * *

Upon returning safely to their lab, Dr Brainstorm and Jack were now working on a new device to stop the living smoke.

"Okay, let's see…," Dr B said, looking over his tools and various blueprints. "What could we use?"

"What've we got?" Jack asked, looking bored.

"Well, we've got the pogo stick that doubles as a letterhead stamp."

"No."

"Okay, we've got a fishing rod that can link with satellites and fillet a trout."

"No."

"Uh…we've got a whoopee cushion."

Jack stared at him. "Is it just a whoopee cushion?"

"Well, it's not necessarily a whoopee cushion in the traditional sense…"

"Then what is it?"

"When you sit on it, you hear Glenn Beck's delusional rantings."

There was a long moment of silence as Jack comprehended this.

"Why?" he asked at last.

"Hey, I'm trying to dominate the world here! I have to be open-minded!"

Jack sighed. "We'll save that as a last resort," he said.

"Fine…"

Dr B went through some more blueprints, trying to find something that might work.

"Oh, this is hopeless…," he grumbled. "I'll have to create something utterly _new_ if we're going to beat this thing!"

He got up and headed for the workbench, picking up his toolbox and lots of metal and wiring along the way.

Jack watched him, sighed again and headed over towards him.

Dr B set to work writing things down on a new set of blueprints, trying to find a new design that was practical for his needs.

"Why don't you just use a vacuum cleaner and a mind filter?" Jack asked, sitting down next to him. "You'd get this done a lot quicker."

But Brainstorm didn't even look at him. He was too engrossed in what he was doing.

Finally, after a few seconds of drawing on the blueprints, he looked up.

"Pass me a wrench," he said, reaching for some metal.

Jack rolled his eyes and handed him a wrench.

* * *

The cardboard box zoomed across the country, blazing its way to Yellowstone.

"Nearly there," Calvin said, checking his watch. "We should be at the Park within the next fifteen minutes."

"Say, MTM?" Sherman asked. "What precisely is it that came into our world?"

"Yeah, is it some sort of mutant beast bent on devouring us all or just some sort of void troll that wants us to turn our music down?" Socrates asked.

"I can't tell, I'm afraid," MTM replied. "I can't identify just what it is. It's not of this world."

Calvin stared intently ahead. His eyes widened slightly at what was in the distance.

"I think I can see it now…," he said. "It's right on the horizon. Hobbes, get a better visual."

"Coming up," Hobbes said, pulling out a pair of binoculars.

As the box sailed smoothly along, he looked determinedly ahead, getting a decent look at the quickly-approaching park.

"Whoa…," he breathed.

"What is it?" Calvin asked.

"Hold on. I'm getting a second opinion. Andy, take a gander."

Andy took the binoculars and looked ahead.

"Well?" Hobbes asked.

"It looks like…a huge black cloud is hanging over the Park," Andy said slowly.

"That's what I thought."

"So what does this mean?" Socrates asked. "Has this creature somehow managed to swap Yellowstone National Park with Seattle?"

"We'll find out when we get there," Calvin said.

And they zoomed on ahead.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, after much work and toil, Brainstorm finished his device and gave it a good rub with a rag to get excess oil off of it.

"There," he said, feeling rather pleased with himself.

Jack looked up from his magazine. "So, what is it?"

"This is the device that shall be our salvation!"

"Oh yeah? Howzat?"

"Well, once I activate the controls on this device, it will send a signal that will disrupt the smoke's physical structure and leave it powerless!"

"Wow, really?"

Brainstorm faltered slightly and held the device awkwardly in his hands.

"Er, well…_theoretically_, of course," he said unsurely.

"But of course," Jack replied. "So what's that creature up to, anyway?"

Brainstorm scowled and set the device aside, heading over to the computer. He checked the readings and then looked up at the screen.

"Let's see…," he said. "Let's just do a worldwide scan for interdimensional energy, and we should be able to…"

But he trailed off when he saw the results.

"Strange…," he mumbled.

"Now what?" Jack asked, not looking up from his magazine.

"According to this, the creature hasn't gone anywhere. In fact, it seems to be focusing primarily on Yellowstone Park."

Jack glanced at the screen in confusion.

"I wonder what it wants…," he pondered.

* * *

Calvin and the gang sailed in with the box, arriving in no time over the Park.

"Okay, weird weather aside, what do you guys think?" Calvin asked, looking around the area.

Everyone took a good long look at the park and its inhabitants, but they couldn't find anything all that odd.

"Nothing much to see," Andy remarked.

"Yeah, nothing except for those people all staring up at us," Socrates said, pointing down at the people.

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances before taking a better look at the people.

Indeed, all the tourists, tour guides and so on were staring up at them, seemingly fixated. None of them budged. In fact, they didn't even seem to be blinking.

"Okay, this is getting a touch frightening," Hobbes remarked.

"Yeah, I mean, I know we're pretty darn popular, but _really_," Calvin agreed.

Suddenly, something rather dense went whizzing past them from below.

"Whoa! What the heck was that?!" Calvin cried.

Sherman looked up at the object. "It looks like a rock!" he remarked.

"Well, how did it get all the way up here?" Socrates asked.

Everyone stared at him.

"…_What_?! It's a legit question!" he protested.

Suddenly, another rock flew past them.

"Why are they throwing rocks at us?!" Andy demanded.

"Two possibilities occur to me," MTM said, feeling the need to speak up.

"What's the first one?" Calvin asked.

"They think we're witches and are trying to kill us."

There was a silence, during which three more rocks went flying past.

"Okay, and the other one?" Calvin sighed.

"They're just plain old trying to kill us."

"Yeah, that seems a bit more likely, somehow," Hobbes remarked.

"But why?" Socrates asked.

"Well, I think we can tell they're not necessarily in their right heads at the moment," Sherman remarked, peering over the side. "Oops, _incoming_!" he squeaked, ducking back into the box.

**_BANG!_**

One of the tourists had scored a direct hit, and the box was suddenly jolted to the side.

"Hey!" Calvin shouted angrily. "You're gonna scratch my wheels!"

"But it doesn't _have _wheels," Hobbes pointed out.

"Not yet, but I was considering it…"

**_BANG! BANG!_**

Two more rocks flew through the air, both striking the box, and causing it to go barreling sideways.

"Okay, hang on. We need to get out of their reach!" Calvin said, leaning back a little bit, pulling on the front of the box.

Suddenly, they were all climbing higher and higher into the air, until finally they were ten thousand feet in the air.

"Wow," Calvin said, peering down through the clouds at the park. "I think this is the highest we've ever been!"

"Well, I think we've been pretty high before," Hobbes said, thinking back. "Remember the magic carpet?"

Calvin thought back. "Oh yeah… Man, that was a _long _time ago!"

"You guys had a magic carpet?" Andy asked, looking very confused.

"We did for awhile. Then Mom sold it and got a new non-flying one."

"We sat in the backyard for an hour trying to get it to work," Hobbes sighed.

"Yeah, at least the box has Warp Factor V."

"Whatever," Sherman sighed. "What about the people?"

"I'd reckon their minds have been manipulated in some way," MTM said.

"How so?" Calvin asked.

"I'm not sure. Maybe we can ask that giant black cloud heading our way."

Everyone stared at him in confusion before turning and looking around.

"Oh, _wow_…," Socrates groaned.

The giant cloud of smoke was heading out for them, reaching out for them with smoky claws. A pair of red eyes was glaring out at them, and a strange rumbling sound could be heard coming from it.

"You know, I hear Palm Springs is gorgeous this time of year," Calvin said at last.

"Lovely. Let's exude," Hobbes agreed.

And the box span around on it's axis and roared away.

The cloud gave chase.

Everyone held on as the box tore around the Park, going up and down and twisting around like a roller coaster.

The smoke kept reaching for them, growling loudly.

"MTM, what the heck is it?!" Calvin demanded.

"I can't tell. I can't get a decent scan on it from here," MTM replied.

"Well, what do you need?"

"I need someone to hold me a bit closer to it."

"Fine then. Socrates, you're in the back! Hold him up for the scan!"

"Righto!" Socrates said cheerily.

He picked up MTM and turned around in his seat, holding the CD player out towards the cloud.

"How's that?" he shouted.

"Got it," MTM replied. "Processing…"

Calvin tried to keep up speed, but the cloud was still catching up.

"Processing…"

Socrates watched as the red eyes in the middle of the cloud grew brighter.

"Ohh, that can't be good," he muttered.

"ANYTIME, MTM!" Calvin shouted.

"_Processing_…," MTM continued.

Socrates wasn't sure, but he was almost certain he could hear a crackling sound coming from the cloud.

"Okay, I've got it sussed. I think it's a—"

**_KAZAP!_**

A blast of red electricity shot out of the eyes and struck the underside the box, causing it leap in the air for a moment before going into a corkscrew spiral down to the ground.

Everyone screamed in blind terror.

Smoke billowed out from an unknown source of the box.

"SOCRATES! I NEED THE MTM!" Calvin shouted.

Socrates managed to turn around and get the CD player back into Calvin's hands.

"MTM, WE NEED YOU TO DO SOMETHING!"

"Like what?" MTM asked calmly.

"MTM, WE ARE DROPPING FROM ROUGHLY TEN THOUSAND FEET! _WHAT DO **YOU** THINK WE SHOULD DO?!_"

"Stop dropping?"

Calvin growled angrily.

"Alright, alright, keep your hair on. I've got in hand."

At that moment, a flash appeared around the box, and they realized that they had been encased in a force field.

They finished falling towards the Earth, and finally they hit the ground, landing in a mound of loose soil, sending it flying everywhere.

Everyone managed to stay inside the box during the crash, and they all got up, dazed and confused.

"Everyone okay?" Calvin asked, rubbing his head.

"Yeah, we're fine," Hobbes said, checking around.

"You sure?"

"Okay, hang on, I know how to find out," Andy said grumpily. "Anyone who's dead, raise your hand."

He looked around, but no one raised their hand.

"There you go. We're all alive."

Everyone glared at him.

"Look! It's still coming!" Sherman exclaimed, pointing at the sky.

The black smoke was still reaching for them, closing in.

"MTM, keep the force field up. Maybe it won't be able to get in!"

"Roger."

The smoke finally closed in on them.

Suddenly, the world went black. The smoke was encircling the whole force field, trying to find a way inside, but it was no good. It was airtight.

"I hope somebody brought snacks," Hobbes remarked. "I have a feeling we'll be here for awhile."

"Maybe it'll get bored with us and leave," Andy suggested.

"How would smoke get bored?" Sherman demanded.

"Well, I'm almost certain it's alive," Socrates said. "That electricity came out of it's eyes."

"Yeah, we tigers get bored if our prey can't be eaten after a certain amount of time," Hobbes pointed out. "With any luck, it'll just get tired of waiting and find someone else to terrorize."

Calvin picked up MTM.

"Okay, MTM, you got interrupted before. What is that thing?"

But MTM didn't reply.

"…MTM?"

A bit tension was hanging in the force field now as everyone waited for an answer.

"Maybe he was damaged in the crash," Socrates suggested.

"Then why is the force field still working?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin gently rapped on MTM's casing.

"Come on, MTM, what's your problem?"

"Maybe it's his voice modulator," Sherman suggested.

Calvin checked the speaker grill that lined the casing. "Hmmm… No, that looks pretty clear. In fact, I can hear static coming from it."

"Any words?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin listened carefully. "I…can hear something, but it's very faint."

"Try the volume control," Andy said.

Calvin turned the dial on the side and listened as the voice grew louder.

"I AM YOUR FUTURE…"

They stared at MTM curiously.

"Call me crazy, but that doesn't sound like him at all," Socrates pointed out.

"Yes, thanks, Socrates. Solid deductive work," Calvin grumbled.

"Well, if you're gonna be like that…"

"I AM _THE _FUTURE…," the voice continued.

They stared again.

"Say, what if it's the…thing?" Hobbes suggested, pointing at the smoke encircling them.

"Why can't it just talk to us regularly then?" Andy asked.

"Because smoke has no mouth," Calvin replied, still staring at MTM.

The smoke continued speaking.

"Your names are Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Socrates. I am speaking through the Mini-Time Machine, known to you as MTM."

"Yes, very good," Calvin said, growing impatient. "Now how about you tell who you are and what you want."

"The one known as Socrates…," the voice went on.

Everyone stared at Socrates who looked a little startled.

"Er… Yes?" he asked carefully.

"There is something in your head."

Everyone tried to maintain their composure while Socrates looked confused.

"What's _that _supposed to mean?!" he demanded. "Am I being insulted by a cloud of smoke?!"

"They are coming for you…"

"Who are?"

"They are coming for you and your tail…"

Socrates looked at his tail, which had red stripes on it instead of black. "What does that…? Huh?"

"But they will arrive too late, _far, far too late_…"

"Okay, that's enough," Calvin said angrily. "If you're quite finished trying to scare us, maybe you can make your point!"

"You are all doomed… All of you are _doomed_…"

And with that, the smoke suddenly cleared and dissipated completely.

They all looked around in confusion.

"Now where did it go?" Andy asked, looking around.

And then suddenly…

**_KAPOW!_**

…MTM erupted in a shower of sparks in Calvin's hand. Everyone jumped back while Calvin dropped him in the dirt.

With a flicker, the force field shut down.

"What happened?" Hobbes cried.

Sherman looked down at the smoking CD player.

"The smoke must've found a way inside him, somehow. The transmission overloaded him. We'll need to fix him somehow."

"Great…," Calvin grumbled, fanning the smoke away and picking him up. "Now we're defenseless. The box is broken and the MTM is damaged. We'll need to improvise to stop that smoke."

"How do we do that?" Socrates asked.

"We'll have to find Dr Brainstorm and Jack. They live under Old Faithful, so we just need to find the boulder that leads into the lab."

They all looked around.

"Well, which way is that?" Andy asked.

Hobbes then noticed something. "Hey look! There's a map of the Park over there!"

They all ran over to the Park Map and looked at it.

"Okay, we're here…," Calvin said, pointing at the spot, "…and Old Faithful is…_there_!"

"It doesn't look too far," Hobbes said.

"We just need to get over there and find the boulder. Come on, guys, let's get going before more tourists try to throw rocks at us."

"How will we know a tourist when we see one?" Hobbes asked.

"Simple," said Andy. "Just keep a look out for someone wearing sandals and socks."

And they hustled up the path towards Old Faithful.


	12. Nocturnals P4

"JACK! THE MOMENT HAS COME!" Brainstorm announced running into the lab.

Jack, who was back to sitting in his usual chair in the middle of the room, looked over at him in dull interest.

Brainstorm was now dressed up in a silver metal full body suit. He had a helmet on with a glass covering, revealing his usual lunatic grin. He was carrying his new invention in one hand and a brown bag in the other.

"Nice suit," Jack commented.

"I know, right?!" Brainstorm cackled. "Completely airtight! There's no way that stupid smoke will get to me, now!"

"What about the welcoming comity, outside?" Jack asked.

"Works on them, too." Brainstorm nodded.

"Whatever you say," Jack said, standing up. "I suppose you'll need me to..."

"NO!" Brainstorm announced, holding his hand up. "This is a far too dangerous mission for my robot assistant to take part in!"

Jack looked at Brainstorm rather taken aback.

"Frank... they don't even pay any attention to me." He said.

"Nonetheless!" Brainstorm continued. "I need you to stay down here and hold down the fort! I won't be but ten minutes."

"Wouldn't it make more sense to send me out there, and have you stay here?"

There's a pause.

"Shut up, Jack, there's work to be done!"

And with that Brainstorm turned around and marched out of the room. He paused at the door for a second as if thinking about something. Then he turned back around.

"DOCTOR FREAKIN' BRAINSTORM!" He shouted at the top of his lungs.

Jack rolled his eyes.

Brainstorm rushed to the elevator, and pushed the button.

He ran inside, and hit the button marked GROUND LEVEL.

"Alert," Said a cool robot voice through the elevator's intercom. "The floor ground level is currently in an unsafe condition. Are you sure you wish to proceed?"

"YES, I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING YOU STUPID COMPUTER! TAKE ME UP THERE, OR I'LL SCRAP YOU AND SELL YOU FOR LOUSY PRICES ON EBAY!" Brainstorm threatened.

"Confirmed," The robot voice said, and the elevator began to move.

Brainstorm shoved his device in the bag and crossed his arms defiantly.

DING!

"We have now reached ground level. Thank you and have a nice day."

The doors of the elevator opened revealing a small closet-like room from which above was the boulder that lead to the outside world.

Brainstorm threw the boulder over and crawled out into the blinding sun.

He threw it shut, and immediately noticed the mob of empty-eyed tourists and tour guides that were surrounding him.

He looked around in all directions. They were all staring at him with blank unblinking stares.

He paused.

"Erm... You're not cool!" He said, finally.

At this statement, everyone around him raised their arms into the air and reached out for Brainstorm. Their expressions still blank, they began stumbling towards him, their arms outstretched, creepily.

"HEY GET AWAY!" Brainstorm screamed. "DON'T YOU DARE SLOBBER ON THIS SUIT! I SPENT THREE HOURS ON IT!"

The zombies began grabbing Brainstorm wherever they could reach. All he could see out of his helmet were the hands attempting to get at him.

He struggled to get out from underneath them, but this proved to be unsuccessful as they all piled on top of him.

"THIS IS NOT COOL!" Brainstorm screeched. "DO YOU HEAR ME?! NOT COOL! GET OFF OF ME! IF YOUR LITTLE TRICK WOULD'VE TURN ME INTO A ZOMBIE, DON'T YOU THINK IT WOULD HAVE WORKED BY NOW?! WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DO...OW! DON'T BITE ME, YOU LITTLE FREAK! I WILL DESTROY ALL OF YOU!"

And with that, Brainstorm was buried under the pile of tourists and tour guides.

"I knew I should have installed some kind of laser in this thing," He grumbled.

* * *

Calvin and the gang meanwhile, were still making their way towards Old Faithful. They stopped at the top of a small hill, and looked around.

"Alright, the geyser is at the bottom of this hill," Calvin said, pointing down. "It looks clear so we should be able to get down there, undetected."

"What do we do when we get in there?" Andy asked.

Calvin paused.

"I'll think of something," He said, finally.

"What, you mean you're just making this up as you go along?" Hobbes demanded.

"Ah-yep." Calvin nodded. "But I do it brilliantly."

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman rolled their eyes.

"AAAAAAAAAAUGH!"

Suddenly, an ear piercing screech rang out through the valley, causing Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman to all freeze.

Seconds later, it came out again, a lot louder, this time, and clearly coming from the direction they needed to go in to get to the geyser.

"That doesn't sound good," Socrates commented.

"No it does not," Calvin said. "And usually, when I hear someone screaming their heads off, I tend to want to go find them and tell them to shut up, but in this case... Maybe not... Come on, we need to find another way down there."

Hobbes looked around.

"Uhh... Actually, maybe we better go hide in that ranger cabin over there..." He began.

"Always quick to find a hiding place, eh Hobbes?" Calvin sighed. "We are not going to go hide in the ranger cabin."

"Well, alright then." Hobbes shrugged, turning back to Calvin. "Then we'll stand here while the black smoke attacks us."

At that statement, all eyes went to the sky.

Sure enough, there was a black cloud high above them. It didn't look like it had seen them, but if they stayed where they were, it would.

"You raise a fair point, Hobbes," Calvin admitted. "Who's up for the cabin?"

"Cabin!" Socrates said, raising his paw.

"Cabins are good," Andy said, raising his hand.

"Probably so," Sherman nodded.

And with that, the four raced off towards the cabin, which sat just about three hundred feet away from them on another part of the hill.

Upon reaching it, Calvin swung the door open and allowed the rest of the gang in before he ran in himself and slammed the door.

"Alright," He said, locking it. "Now what?"

Andy looked around.

"We should probably wait out here for a little bit." He said. "It doesn't seem too safe outside, right now.

"Is the telephone on the MTM still working?" Sherman asked.

Calvin looked at the CD player.

"I'm not sure. The telephone is on a different circuit, so it might be."

"If it is, we should try calling Brainstorm to see what he knows about this," Sherman continued. "He might know what to do,"

"Alright, I'll try it," Calvin said.

"WHO'S THERE?!" A voice suddenly shouted from another room, causing everyone to jump.

Everyone looked around in all directions preparing for the worst.

Then all eyes went to the kitchen as a tall boy stepped into the room.

He had a round face with long, dark, curly and yet by some odd freak of nature, flat hair that went down over his forehead. He was wearing a white T-shirt that looked like it had paint splattered all over it. A very weird sight. And to top it all off, he was wearing one of those glow stick necklaces on the top of his head. The reason for this, God only knows.

For a long time the boy and Calvin and the gang stared at each other in shock.

"May I help you?" Calvin said, finally.

"WHO IS IT?!" Called another voice from the kitchen.

"OTHER SURVIVORS!" The boy called. "PRAISE THE GOOD LORD, WE'RE NOT ALONE!"

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged concerned glances.

By this time another person had walked into the room. This one was a girl.

She was slightly shorter than her friend and yet a little bit more tanned. She had straight, black hair just past shoulder length and brownish eyes. She was wearing a bright yellow T-shirt with a giant silver feather painted on it. She too was wearing a glow stick necklace. This one was actually around her neck, however.

She stared at Calvin like how a typical 12 year old girl stares at any of the Jonas Brothers.

"My god, Alyx! There may be hope left, yet!" She shouted.

Calvin closed his eyes. It was only fitting that they go into the one cabin with the two nuts.

"I'm sorry, but can we ask who you are?" Andy asked.

"My name is Alyx," The boy said, stepping forward. "This is my friend, Kim. We are the only survivors in the park, besides you, and we're going to wait out the zombie apocalypse!"

There was a moment of silence.

"In here?" Calvin asked.

"Yep!" Kim grinned.

"In an abandoned ranger's cabin..." Calvin said, slowly. "...With the door unlocked."

Alyx and Kim exchanged glances.

"Did we miss something?" Alyx asked, putting his hands on his hips.

"Oh god," Andy groaned, burying his face into his hands.

"No... Don't think so..." Calvin said. "Anyway, listen, we'd love to hang out and wait this out with you, but we really have to run, so..."

"NO! We can't let you leave!" Kim shouted.

Calvin and Andy exchanged worried glances.

"...Why?" Andy asked, nervously.

"The survivors of the apocalypse have to stick together!" Alyx declared, throwing his fist to the sky, causing his hair to bounce. "Wherever you and your stuffed tigers and hamster go we will follow!"

Kim nodded and grinned.

There was a long moment of silence.

"So, how long before we classify these guys as villains?" Socrates asked.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman rolled their eyes.

* * *

Brainstorm, meanwhile, had somehow gotten away from his initial attackers, and had began laying round devices throughout the park. Every fifty or so feet, he would reach into the brown pag, pulled out one of the sliver, glowing pods, placed them on the ground and turned them on, causing them to hum a little bit.

Every now and then he would run into a possessed person, in which he would scream at them to get lost. They usually never did, and Brainstorm was then stuck with losing them again, so he could continue working.

At one point, he was placing one of the devices on a large boulder just away from a large herd of buffalo.

As he switched it on, he noticed how it had become a little more darker than it had been before.

He looked up.

The smoke creature was hovering above him, staring him down with its beady red eyes.

"Oh hello, may I help you?" Brainstorm said, causally.

At this, the radio in his suit began to crackle, and the smoke's voice came through.

"You amuse me with your feeble attempts to defeat me," it said, tauntingly.

Brainstorm glared at it.

"Feeble?! I'll have you know I put a lot of thought into this!" He said, matter-of-factly.

"Answer me this, Brainstorm," The smoke continued. "Did they ever forgive you?"

Brainstorm paused.

"YES, AS A MATTER OF FACT, THEY DID!" He shouted at the top of his lungs.

He paused again.

"So... who are talking about, this time?" He said, finally.

"Your parents," The smoke said. "Did they ever forgive you for not being able to take over the planet?"

"HEY, IT'S NOT AS EASY AS IT SOUNDS SMOKE BOY!" Brainstorm shouted, jabbing a finger at the smoke. "And look at you! Just sitting on top of Yellowstone like it was the only thing worth taking over! I admit it's pretty cool, but REALLY?! Why the heck are you staying in Yellowstone?!"

"By the end of this day, Yellowstone will be all that there is," The smoke said.

"Oh yeah? OH YEAH?! Well I'll have you know that's not gonna happen, because I'm gonna defeat you!"

"No, you don't." The smoke said.

"YES I DO!"

"Franklin J Brainstorm, can you not see the obvious? I am a creature of sight. I know everything about you. Everything that has happened or ever will. I have already seen your fate. You lose this battle."

Brainstorm glared at it.

"Do you wanna bet?" He sniffed, crossing his arms.

"Your defeat is not alone," the smoke continued. "The ones known as Calvin and Hobbes. They also will lose to me."

Brainstorm stared at the smoke.

"Calvin and Hobbes? They're not even here! Are they?" He said, his voice trailing off.

The smoke didn't respond.

"Oh for the love of... Can't I ever defeat a super villain by myself for once?!" Brainstorm groaned, stomping his feet in protest.

"Your time is marked, Brainstorm," The smoke said. "This is the final time we will meet before your defeat. Goodbye."

And with that, the smoke dispersed.

Brainstorm paused.

"Yeah, well, I'M STILL SETTING THE DEVICES UP, SO THERE!" He shouted at nothing.

And with that, he whipped around and headed off to plant the next device.

* * *

Calvin was fiddling the MTM's controls. He had a screwdriver in it, and was attempting to fix it.

Hobbes walked up.

"What's the news?"

"Well, I am going to be able to get in touch with Brainstorm but it's going to take a little while," Calvin said. "Maybe... five or ten minutes?"

"Why so long?" Andy asked.

"The circuit was damaged when the smoke transmitted to him," Calvin said. "Not as hard to fix as everything else in the MTM, but defiantly not the easiest."

"Yeah, well, I think top priority right now is get the telporter fixed," Socrates said. "The sooner we get out of here, the better,"

"Which do you prefer?!" Alyx suddenly yelled, running up to them. "Sour creme and onion or regular potato chips?!"

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman all stared at him.

"Regular please," Andy said.

"We don't have regular." Alyx replied.

Calvin glared at him.

"Then why the heck did you ask us?!" he demanded.

"What, I'm not entitled to be curious?!" Alyx said, looking offended as he walked off.

Calvin groaned.

"We have to get out of here," He said, lowering his head to the table.

_**BANG! BANG! BANG!**_

Suddenly, there was a loud knocking on the door, that shook the cabin. Everyone jumped at the sound.

"More survivors!" Kim shouted. "We've located more survivors!"

And with that, her and Alyx gleefully skipped to the front door and unlocked it.

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged knowing glances.

"What are the chances of that actually being someone who isn't under the smoke's control?" Calvin asked.

"Not very high." Hobbes said.

"I didn't think so." Calvin nodded.

Alyx threw the door open, revealing a short man with short black hair and a blank expression.

"Welcome brother!" He announced "We are the survivors of the apocalypse! There is no longer any need for fear, because we are here to protect you!"

The man stared at Alyx, expressionlessly.

Kim looked past him, and noticed several more people limping and staggering towards the cabin in the distance.

"Hey, he brought some friends!" She said, pointing past him.

Alyx squinted in the sunlight.

"Hmm, he did. That's awesome!"

It took Alyx and Kim a whole of five seconds to realize that something might be slightly amiss.

They looked back at the man at the front door.

He started growling and raised his arms out in front of him, reaching for them.

"AAAAUGH!" They screamed, slamming the door in his face.

"They've found us!" Alyx screamed, locking the door.

"Our cover's been blown!" Kim added.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman all watched as Kim and Alyx started immediate panic, as they ran around in circles and screamed.

"On the one hand," Andy said, turning to Calvin. "What would these poor dopes do without us?"

Calvin sighed.

"Let's start barricading the doors," He sighed.

And with that, the four leaped into action, grabbing chairs and whatever else they could find laying around the cabin, and propping them against the doors and windows, which were slowly being surrounded by the mind locked people.

By the time they were finished the entire cabin had been surrounded by tourists and park rangers.

"Yep," Socrates nodded, taking a step back and examining the work. "As per usual, we are the only group of people on the planet that can handle the apocalypse with grace, wisdom and unbridled bravery."

"Mmhmm," Sherman said. "Anyone know where Hobbes went?"

Everyone looked around. Hobbes had vanished.

Calvin sighed.

"Check all the closets," He mumbled.

Suddenly there was a crackle from the MTM.

Everyone looked over at the CD player.

"We have a transmition coming through!" Sherman said, his eyebrows jumping.

"Hello?" Came a voice from the MTM. "Come in Calvin and Hobbes. Can you read me?"

"Yes I can, Jack!" Calvin yelled, running up to the table. "Well, I'm not reading you, I'm listening, but that's not really the point. What's up?"

"Oh, not much," Jack said. "The TV isn't working right, we're out of Dr Pepper, Frank opened a portal into the void and let a deranged smoke monster out, and there seems to be a little bit of spyware on the computers, slowing them down just a bit. You?"

"Same old," Calvin nodded. "We're already in Yellowstone, but we seem to be trapped at the moment."

"Really? Where at?"

"We're in a ranger's cabin with a couple of whack cases, surrounded by zombies." Andy said.

"Hmm, isn't that the way?" Jack said.

"Yep," Calvin nodded. "So what exactly happened here?"

Jack proceeded to fill Calvin and the gang in on everything that had happened in the last few hours.

As he finished, Calvin, Socrates, Andy, Sherman and Hobbes, who had just returned from his hiding spot, gave it a little bit of thought.

"How strange," Calvin said. "So there's really no sure fire way to beat this thing..."

"Not really," Jack said. "Unless, of course, we do a mind filter on the people under it's control, suck the smoke into a vacuum, and then inject it back into the void."

There was a pause.

"Yeah... that's real funny, Jack," Calvin said. "But if you could concentrate, we need to figure out what this thing's weak point is."

Jack heaved a deep sigh.


	13. Nocturnals P5

Dr Brainstorm was still clanking about the park in his armor. He was continuing to set up the devices, switching them on one by one. He ran another fifty feet and began to set up another one.

As he was in the process of setting it up, he noticed a shadow falling over him.

Thinking it was the smoke, come back to taunt him again, he glared up at the source.

"ALRIGHT, _YOU_, I'M GETTING SICK OF…"

He trailed off when he saw it wasn't the smoke, but a person.

It was one of the mind-locked people. It was a man in his mid-forties, who looked very much like a tourist.

Brainstorm glared at him for a few moments. "Nice look, dip wad. I've never seen argyle socks with see-through flip-flops."

The tourist didn't say anything.

"So…you're looking to take over my mind?"

The tourist just stared at him.

"Well, guess what: YOU CAN'T! HA!"

This still got no response.

"For you see, you poor dope, I'm wearing my impenetrable suit of body armor! Nothing, and I'll repeat that…'that'…can get through this suit! Do you understand, old man?!"

The tourist just continued to stare at him.

"And then, of course, there is my ingenious genius plan! I have been planting these pod-like devices all over the Park, fifty feet apart from each other, and do you want to know why?!"

The tourist didn't say anything.

"I'll tell you why: _SO I CAN DEFEAT THAT ANNOYING RAIN CLOUD!_"

He flipped a switch on the pod he'd just finished setting down, and it began to hum just like the others.

"But how can it possibly do that, you're wondering. Well, I'll tell you," Brainstorm continued, taking out the device from earlier. "This device will activate all the pods and cause them to release a chemical that will disintegrate the cloud and release everyone from it's spell! What do you say to that, bub?!"

The tourist still didn't say anything.

This ticked Dr Brainstorm off intensely.

"_LISTEN UP, TOURIST BOY, I'M NOT FALLING FOR ANY OF YOUR TRICKS! MY MIND IS MY OWN, AND I PLAN TO KEEP IT! UNDERSTAND?! CAPICHE_?"

There was still no response.

Brainstorm glared furiously.

"THIS ISN'T ANY FUN IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO RESPOND CALMLY AND SARCASTICALLY!"

But there was still no response.

"_FINE! _YOU DON'T WANT TO PLAY BALL? _OKAY! EXCELLENT! WHATEVER! _YOU STILL CAN'T CATCH ME! **_BURN!_**"

This is was Dr Brainstorm made his mistake.

Out of frustration and a desire to humiliate, he pointed his device at the tourist viciously and with intent to point.

Unfortunately, he brought the device just a little too close.

In one fell swoop, the tourist had ripped the armored glove off of Brainstorm's hand and span around and hurled into a hot spring about half a mile away, taking the precious device thing with it.

Brainstorm stared at the tourist for about five seconds, positively stunned into silence and inaction.

He stared at his bare hand for a few moments before immediately tucking it away in his pocket and backing away slowly.

"Uh-huh…," he mumbled. "Probably should've put a few extra bolts into this thing…"

The tourist reached out with a long hand.

"Keep away from me, you sunburned beast!" Brainstorm ordered.

The tourist advanced.

"ACK! HE'S AFTER ME!"

Dr Brainstorm turned and fled, running like a maniac for the hills, with the tourist running after him, hands outstretched.

* * *

Back at the cabin, Calvin and Hobbes were still trying to figure out what the creature was and why it was in the Park.

"Why is it still in the Park?" Sherman wondered.

"I'm not sure," Jack said through the MTM. "As far as I can tell, it's not leaving for anything."

"It must want something…," Calvin said. "What does Yellowstone have that other places in the world don't?"

"Hot springs?" Hobbes suggested.

"Predictable geyser?" Socrates asked.

"Silly little gift shops?" Andy put in.

Calvin shook his head. "No… It's gotta be something bigger than those…"

"It can only mean one thing!" Alyx exclaimed suddenly.

Hobbes sighed. "These guys are still here?" he moaned.

"I'll bite, Alyx," Andy said, pretending to be interested. "What is the one thing that this can only mean?"

"IT'S COME FOR OUR WATER SUPPLY!"

Kim gasped. "My god, he's right! It's come to take our water! _Whatever shall we do_?"

"It's not after our water," Calvin said firmly.

"_BUT IT'S THE ONLY EXPLANATION_!"

"No it isn't."

"IT IS!"

"Okay, fine, it is. How did you come to this conclusion?"

Alyx went to yell something, but he realized he hadn't come to that conclusion at all.

"…I dunno… I was just guessing."

Everyone stared at him.

"…You say your name funny. How do you spell it?" Andy demanded.

"A-L-Y-X," Alyx replied.

"Has it always been spelt that way, or was there an 'E' in there at some point?"

"Yeah, it was A-L-E-X when I was born. I changed it."

"…Yeah, I think I'm starting to understand who you are."

Surreptitiously, he leaned over to Calvin's ear and said through the corner of his mouth, "We need to get away from him."

Calvin nodded briefly and faced the group.

"Now look, I know we're all freaking out and are panicking, but we need to remain calm," he said slowly. "This is hardly the time to break out bibles and sing _Kumbaya_."

"But that may be all we have left!" Kim wailed. "We must defeat this creature before it steals our FM Radios!"

"No, we can still fight this thing! We just have to…," but Calvin trailed off as he realized what she had just said. "FM Radios?"

"IT'S THE ONLY POSSIBLE OUTCOME TO THIS SCENARIO!" she screamed.

"How?"

Kim went to yell again, but logic ended up stopping her and she clammed up instantly.

Calvin glared at her and continued. "There's something else about Yellowstone that we're not considering."

"What's that?" Andy asked.

"It's a volcano."

There was a pause.

Hobbes glared at him. "What, so you just pause dramatically and we're supposed to get it just like that?"

"It wouldn't hurt, you know," Calvin snapped.

"Why's it so important that it's a volcano?" Socrates asked.

"Think about it! The smoke is right above the underground volcano. Maybe it's trying to make it erupt!"

Hobbes squinted his eyes in confusion. "What good would that do for it?"

"A volcano doesn't just erupt with magma. It also releases ash and soot into the air. All of this would create another dark cloud. It would be a _huge_, _thick _cloud. This creature is smoke itself. Maybe it can control all that soot and ash. It would have total control over the whole planet within the first day of the eruption."

Everyone stared at him with wide unblinking eyes.

"Did you seriously just figure all that out on the fly?" Socrates asked, looking very suspicious.

"Well, all the evidence is right there," Calvin said with a shrug. "It's the only logical explanation at the moment."

"YOU'RE MAD!" Alyx suddenly shouted, rushing forward. "_MAD, I TELL YOU_!"

"Am I?"

"YOU'RE TALKING TO TIGERS AND A HAMSTER ABOUT _LIVING SMOKE_!" Kim added frightfully. "YOU'RE NOT BUT A CHILD!"

Calvin fixated them with a glare that would've chilled a six-pack.

"I am far more than just another child," he said quietly, fixing them with his evil eye.

Something in the tone of his voice caused Alyx and Kim to back away quickly.

"Ooh, they made the Cal _angry_," Socrates whispered excitedly.

Calvin continued to advance.

"I may be a child. I may go to school and do homework and get beaten up by bullies just like other kids, but it just so happens I'm a child who knows how to get us out of this mess and save the world from an otherworldly creature that you two know nothing about, and don't pretend that you know what you're doing because you're older than me, because I know you're both lost and just trying to be important, so get your heads out of your nether regions and listen to me, okay?"

Alyx and Kim nodded meekly.

Andy cleared his throat and spoke up, removing the tension.

"So if it's trying to make the volcano erupt, then why is it taking over the peoples' minds?"

"I think our best bet is that it needs to take control of everyone in the area, making it impossible to stop it while it goes to the center of the volcano and makes it blow."

"…Okay, that made next to no sense. Why can't it just go the center of the volcano right away?"

"I don't know. We need to think like a super villain. They like to show off how clever they are."

"And then when you take a fine-toothed comb and go through the plan, it all starts to fall apart," Sherman sighed.

"Exactly."

"Is there any way we can stop it?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin thought for a moment.

"Well…, the void should still have a certain pull on the smoke… If we can reopen the portal, the pull will be a lot stronger and might yank it back into the void."

He picked up the MTM and popped the lid.

"Jack, are you still on the line?"

"Yeah, I'm still here," Jack's bored voice replied. "I've been sitting here for several minutes now."

Calvin wished he could glare at Jack.

"I'm sorry, are we keeping you from something? Got some big lecture to give at the university around here?"

Jack sighed over the line. "What's up?" he asked irritably.

"How did Frank bring the creature out of the void in the first place?"

"He created a pair of interdimensional pliers and ripped the reality hole open."

Calvin stared. "What and they actually _worked_?"

"I know. I'm still stunned."

"Well, we think we can use the void to suck the creature back inside. Can we reopen the hole?"

"Er…no."

"Why not?"

"The pliers were broken during the first opening."

There was an incredulous silence over the line.

"Seriously?" Andy demanded.

"Yeah, I know," Jack sighed. "This hasn't been the best day for us."

"We're feeling it here too," Sherman grumbled.

"We'll just have to think of another way to open the hole," Calvin decided.

"We'd have better chances in Brainstorm's lab," Hobbes pointed out.

"Yeah, there's probably enough techy-tech stuff to help us," Socrates agreed.

"And I bet we could fix the MTM over here too," Jack said.

Calvin considered this.

"Yeah, that could work…," he said slowly. "Unfortunately, there's a bunch of hypnotized tasteless holidaymakers out there waiting to take over our minds."

"There must be another way out," Andy said. "There's _always _a way out. You just have to look for it."

They all stood in silence for awhile, thinking this over.

Finally, Sherman spoke up.

"Look outside," he said.

They all did so, looking at the crowd gathering outside.

"Yeah, a bunch of mind-locked people are waiting. So what?" Socrates demanded.

"No, you dope, _other _than them," Sherman grumbled.

They looked around, trying to see what the hamster was looking at.

"Er…," Hobbes said, squinting to see further ahead. "We've got hot springs, wildlife, a few pathways, someone is wearing a Mickey Mouse hat for some reason…"

"The trees!" Sherman said, pointing.

Indeed, there were several trees around the group as well.

"What about them?" Andy asked.

"They're our ticket out of here!"

"How so?" Calvin asked.

"Let's say one of us goes up on the roof and jumps into one of the trees?"

"What would that do?"

"It would be a diversion. Let's say one of goes in and jumps from tree to tree. They could lure the people away from us, leaving a clear path for us to get to the lab. Eventually, the one in the trees would lose the crowd and rejoin us later."

"You expect one of us to jump from tree to tree and lead a group of mind-locked people around the Park?" Hobbes demanded.

"That's the long and short of it, yes."

"But who would do that?" Socrates asked. "You'd need to be agile and good at leaping to jump from tree to tree…"

He trailed off as he came to the same realization as Calvin, Andy and Sherman, and they all looked over at Hobbes, who looked back at them unsurely.

"What, me?" he asked nervously.

"Why not? You keep bragging about how much distance you can cover whenever you pounce me. Here's a chance to put it to get use!" Calvin insisted.

"B-But I don't think I can… I mean, not that I don't want to help or anything, but I just don't think I'd be able to lose them effectively. Maybe Socrates should go instead."

Socrates glared. "Oh thanks, buddy. Put _me _in the line of fire!"

"Why not? Don't you want to help?"

"Don't _you_?"

"I asked you first!"

"So what? They asked _you_!"

"Since when does the honor system matter to you?!"

"Since _my_ life was possibly put on the line!"

"Oh, so when _my _life is in danger, its fine, but when it's _yours_, it's wrong?"

"Darn straight!"

"Enough!" Andy yelled, standing between the two tigers. "We'll settle this easily: I'll flip a coin, and whoever loses has to go, okay?"

Hobbes and Socrates glared at each other.

"Yeah, sure," Hobbes said at last.

"Whatever," Socrates snapped.

Andy reached into his pocket and pulled out a quarter.

"Okay, Hobbes, you call it," he said, flipping it through the air.

"Tails," Hobbes said, watching the coin determinedly.

Andy caught the coin and flipped it onto his hand. He slowly peeked at it.

"Hobbes wins," he announced. "Socrates, you're up."

Hobbes breathed a sigh of relief while Socrates groaned.

"Okay, fine," he said agitatedly. "But next time one of us needs to take one for the team, you're _going_, Hobbo. One way or another, you're going!"

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Hobbes said, waving him off.

Socrates glared.

"How do I get up on the roof, anyway?" he asked.

"Well, we can go to the upstairs window, and you can get started from there," Sherman said.

"Check."

"Okay, shall we begin?" Andy suggested.

"Just one thing," Calvin said, holding up a finger to stop them.

"What's that?" Hobbes asked.

"Have any of you noticed how quiet and not-annoying Alyx and Kim have been?"

Everyone looked to the last place they had seen Alyx and Kim, but the pair of freaks had vanished from the spot.

"Where'd they go? Did anyone see?" Socrates asked, looking around unsurely.

"_I_ didn't," Sherman said slowly, "and I tend to notice everything."

"So where did they go?" Hobbes asked.

At that moment, they heard loud footsteps coming down the stairs from the upstairs.

Alyx and Kim stumbled into the room, both wearing football helmets and holding hockey sticks, wielding them like swords.

"Oh look, we found them," Andy said blandly.

"What are you doing?" Calvin demanded.

"The only thing we _can _do," Alyx declared. "We're going to _fight _our way out!"

"Yeah! It's good, right?" Kim asked, grinning madly.

Everyone stared at them.

"Did either of you even think this through?" Calvin demanded.

"Of course! We're taking our planet back, and the only way to do that with _brute force_!" Alyx yelled.

"That's not going to work. These people are mind-locked by the smoke."

"Then we shall save them by pummeling them!" Kim declared.

Andy blinked and then seemed to realize.

"You already brought those helmets and hockey sticks with you, right?" he asked.

"Why, yes we did! How did you know?" Alyx asked excitedly.

"You're fans of Canadian hockey."

Kim gasped. "Are you _psychic_?"

"Nah, it was just a bit obvious."

"Then we shall win this one for the good and innocent zambonies of the world! _ATTACK!_" Alyx declared.

And they both ran for the door.

"Oh, this ain't good," Socrates muttered.

"STOP! DON'T DO THAT!" Calvin shouted, running after them, but the others held him back.

Alyx and Kim had already pulled the door open, and they charged headlong into the crowd of zombies.

"_CHAAAAARGE!_" they yelled.

Needless to say, they were lost in the crowd instantly, and before the others knew what was happening, the crowd was now spilling into the cabin.

"Oh, this is even _worse_," Socrates grumbled.

The gang backed away as the mind-locked people swarmed around them like angry bees, all reaching out for them.


	14. Nocturnals P6

Brainstorm, meanwhile, was racing through the park, screaming his head off, trying to keep his hand covered, as he attempted to get back to Old Faithful.

Behind him, the tourist had been joined by several of his buddies, and they were running after him. Some of which were starting to catch up.

Brainstorm leaped over a fence, and raced towards the geyser. It was then that he saw the horde of people guarding the entrance to the lab, staring straight ahead at Brainstorm, blankly.

He whipped around and tried to run in the opposite of direction before he realized there were more people back there. Frantic, the mad scientist, raced in the only direction there weren't people in. Which just happened to be the direction of the gift shop.

He ripped the door open, and plowed through the crowd of people already inside, keeping his hand covered, as he dove into a janitor's closet and slammed the door.

He then held the door with one hand and activated his radio on the other.

"MAYDAY! MAYDAY!" He screamed. "CODE RED, JACK! ONE OF THOSE GUYS TOOK MY GLOVE OFF! I'M EXPOSED!"

He waited for Jack to reply.

"JACK!" He screamed into it again.

"Oh, I'm sorry, what was that?" Jack said, coming on, his mouth full of some kind of food.

"WERE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!" Brainstorm demanded.

"'fraid not. Been in a bit of a conversation with Calvin and Hobbes. They're trapped in a ranger's cabin, somewhere."

"WHAT ARE THEY DOING?!"

"Probably not much," Jack shrugged. "Last I heard, the geniuses that they were hiding out with opened the door and let all of the mind locked people in."

Suddenly there came several loud bangs on the door, and the knob started turning. Brainstorm frantically held the knob in place and kept it closed.

"What's that?" Jack asked, casually.

"ONE OF THE TOURISTS TOOK MY GLOVE OFF! MY HAND IS EXPOSED! I'M CURRENTLY HIDING IN THE JANITOR'S CLOSET IN THE GIFT SHOP!"

"That's sounds about right," Jack yawned. "So what are you calling me for?"

"I NEED TO INITIATE PLAN B!" Brainstorm announced.

There was a moment of silence.

"Frank..." Jack sighed.

"DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!"

"There is no plan B,"

There was a moment of silence.

"Oh right..." Brainstorm said, finally. "Through all that planning and inventing, I forgot to make a plan B."

Jack rolled his eyes.

"WELL, WE STILL HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT WHY THIS CREATURE TOOK OVER ALL THESE PEOPLE!"

"Oh no, we have," Jack nodded. "Calvin and Hobbes figured it out."

"OH WELL OF COURSE THEY DID!" Brainstorm screeched. "WHY IS HE?!"

"So they can't stop him from causing the volcano under Yellowstone to erupt," Jack nodded.

There was another pause. Broken only by the screams and moans outside as the tourists and rangers tried to get in to him.

"Well, that makes zero sense." Brainstorm said, finally. "What they heck are these freaks gonna do to stop him?"

"I dunno," Jack shrugged. "Maybe he just wanted to get a head start on the whole world domination, thing."

"AGAINST THE POINT!" Brainstorm screamed. "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO, NOW?!"

"Beats me," Jack said, leaning back in his chair and taking a sip from his lemonade. "Try and hold the door and wait for Calvin and Hobbes to save us."

"I THOUGHT YOU SAID THE PEOPLE ALREADY GOT TO THEM!" Brainstorm yelled.

"Well, I'm sure they'll figure a way out," Jack replied.

Brainstorm growled with frustration and held the door, firmly in place.

* * *

Meanwhile, Calvin and the gang race upstairs with the mind locked people following close behind them.

"WHAT DO WE DO?!" Hobbes hollered in panic.

Calvin looked around frantically for some form of escape.

Not finding any, his eyes landed on closet door, nearby.

"INTO THE CLOSET!" He declared.

Without missing a beat everyone dove for the closet door, with all the people behind them closing in.

Slamming the door behind him, Calvin grabbed the MTM and shouted into it.

"JACK! They've gotten us!"

"How sad," Jack said. "What are you gonna do about it?"

"We're hiding in the closet!" Hobbes replied.

There was a moment of silence.

"Of course you are," Jack sighed at last.

"What are we gonna do?" Andy groaned.

"Not much we can do," Calvin said, looking around. "The MTM is out of power which pretty much strands us here, and there's nowhere else to run."

"So we're trapped?!" Socrates exclaimed.

"More or less," Calvin growled. "Unless some kind of magical miracle occurs it the next five or ten minutes."

"But I don't wanna be a mind locked smoke person," Hobbes moaned.

Calvin, Socrates, Andy and Sherman rolled their eyes.

* * *

"JACK!" Brainstorm screamed on the other line, back in the lab. "MORE OF THEM ARE FINDING ME! THEY'RE ALL COMING TO THE CLOSET DOOR!"

"Well, maybe if you didn't scream so loudly, they wouldn't know where you were," Jack suggested.

"SHUT UP, JACK! I'M THINKING!"

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Alright, here's the plan!" Brainstorm shouted, finally. "You open the void, again, and release another creature that may be able to stop the black smoke!"

Jack stared at the communicator in front of him.

"you're kidding, right?" He sighed.

"WELL DO YOU HAVE ANY BETTER IDEAS?!" Brainstorm screeched.

"I do, actually," Jack replied. "Suck the smoke into a vacuum and perform a mind filter on everyone in Yellowstone."

"JACK, THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD!"

"That's what you said last week when I suggested rebooting the computers to make it go faster." Jack said. "Which ended up working, by the way."

"WELL, IT WAS THE STUPIDEST THING I'D EVER HEARD! BUT THIS ONE IS STUPIDER!"

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Are you finished?"

"YES I AM!" Brainstorm spat. "Now go get rid of that talking cloud of B.O.!"

"I'm on it," Jack yawned.

And with that, he switched the radio off and went through the massive task of getting out of his chair.

Upon doing that, he casually walked over to the closet door, nearby. He opened it up and pulled something out.

* * *

Meanwhile, outside, people were starting to group around the gift shop, keeping Brainstorm from escaping, but at the same time, taking their attention away from Old Faithful.

The boulder beside the geyser flipped over and Jack came crawling out.

He yawned, stretched and looked up at the sky.

"Hmm, looks like a bit of a cold front is going to be coming through," He observed, looking around.

He then stretched again, and strolled over to the sidewalk, and climbed over the fence.

Several mind locked people walked past him, ignoring him as they went, while Jack ambled off in the other direction.

After about five minutes of walking and jumping fences, Jack came to a small hill.

He trotted up to the top of the hill and looked around.

Then he spotted a dark cloud hovering over a field nearby.

Jack sighed at the sight of the distance he had to walk, and started off, again.

He strolled down the hill, jumped another fence, and walked through the tall grass towards the black smoke.

When he was decently close to it, he stopped and cleared his throat.

"Ahem, hey, smokey, what's up?" He called.

The smoke immediately appeared in front of him, and took on the shape of a man again.

It looked the robot up and down and glared at him through its beady red eyes.

"You are irrelevant." It growled in Jack's head.

"Mmmmm hmm," Jack nodded. "I'll bet you say that to everyone."

"You will be gone!" The smoke hissed, getting into Jack's face. "I have work to do."

"Yeah, well, it won't happen," Jack sighed.

The smoke stared at him.

"Your speech is incorrect." It growled. "I have seen the future. I already know that I will triumph."

"Uh huh," Jack yawned. "Well, you aren't going to."

"You will cease talking, machine!" The smoke declared. "I will become the future of this tiny little planet. Every single living creature will be engulfed by my will. The Yellowstone volcano will erupt and the smoke and ash that comes from it will cover the planet."

Jack's expression remained blank.

"It will touch everything. I will be the only life form on this planet. And I will not stop. I will spread like a plague across the entire universe. Touching every galaxy. Every single living thing in existence. I have already seen it happen."

There was a moment of silence.

"Well, you were watching fiction, 'cause it's not going to happen," Jack said, blandly.

The smoke charged Jack and engulfed him in smoke.

He continued looking ahead, unfazed.

"You know nothing!" The smoke roared. "What makes you think you can stop me?!"

"Well, took me a few minutes to work it out, but I did in the end," Jack yawned. "First thing you said to me, 'you are irrelevant.' Which basically tells me that you planned on ignoring me completely."

The smoke continued whirling around Jack. He went on.

"After a bit of thought, I figured out that this means that any kind of 'future' you see, wouldn't include me, because I am irrelevant, after all. Therefore, you looked at what kind of future would happen if I wasn't around. Your little prophecy didn't take me into consideration."

"You speak nonsense!" The smoke roared.

"Not really," Jack said, pulling out Brainstorm's hypercube. "Because I can do this."

And with that, Jack reached inside and pulled out a vacuum cleaner, and laid it on the ground.

"What is the purpose of that device?!" The smoke growled.

Jack took the plug and stuck it into an AC adaptor that extended out of his chest.

"This," Jack said, flatly, flipping it on.

WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

All of a sudden, the vacuum roared to life.

There was a moment of silence.

Nothing happened.

Jack stared at the vacuum.

The smoke glared at him, again.

"You are wasting my time," It boomed.

"No wait," Jack said. "Sorry, I forgot to attach the hose."

And with that, Jack took the hose off of the back of the vacuum and connected it.

At once air started sucking into the hose.

Jack started whistling as he moved the hose from side to side.

"EXPLAIN YOUR ACTIONS!" The smoke roared.

"Quiet, I'm working," Jack snapped.

The smoke, having now lost its patience for Jack turned and started to leave.

Until it found that it couldn't.

"What... what is happening?!" It exclaimed looking around in all directions.

Jack started whistling the Stanley Steamer's carpet cleaners tune, while he continued to pull more smoke into the vacuum.

A thoughtful way to add insult to injury to say the least.

"TURN THAT MACHINE OFF!" The smoke howled.

Jack ignored him.

The air around the robot began to become more clear.

"What's that prophecy of yours doing, right now?" He asked, finally. "Is it still pretty solid?"

"NOOO!" The smoke shrieked, trying to escape Jack's grasp.

"I didn't think so,"

By this time almost all of the smoke had been sucked into the vacuum, and Jack was just finishing it up.

"Be warned, robot!" the smoke declared. "You will die with me!"

"You're not dying," Jack sighed.

"I have called my minions upon you. You will pay for your interference!"

"That's nice." Jack said, obviously still bored. "Bye, bye,"

And with that, Jack sucked the last of the smoke into the vacuum.

Upon doing this, he unplugged it, and wrapped everything back up. He then picked it all up, and shoved into the hypercube.

He then straightened up, and looked around.

Sure enough, the horde of possessed tourists and park rangers came marching down the hill towards him.

The people trying to break into Brainstorm's hiding spot, suddenly stopped.

Brainstorm sat inside the closet, still holding the door shut. He blinked.

Slowly, he peeked outside, and looked around.

Everyone was leaving. Slowly making their way out of the gift shop and away from him.

Brainstorm paused.

"Erm... YEAH! TAKE THAT YOU FIENDS! THERE'S PLENTY WHERE THAT CAME FROM! AND NEVER FORGET THAT I WILL SOON RULE OVER ALL OF YOU!" He shouted jabbing a finger at them.

One of the people turned around and started for Brainstorm, again.

_**SLAM!**_

In an instant, the closet door was slammed shut.

The person stared at the door for another second, then turned and left.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the cabin, Calvin and the gang were still holding the door shut.

The door was being rattled harder than ever, and was starting to open, slightly.

"I don't know how much longer I can keep this thing closed," Calvin groaned.

Hobbes started whimpering. "What are we going to do?!"

"Nothing we can do," Sherman said. "They're going to get in eventually."

"Oh god," Socrates moaned. "I just hope that it's not the two geniuses that let them in to begin with that are the ones that turn us into zombies,"

"One can always hope," Andy said. "Knowing Murphy's law, it will be, though."

"Yeah, knowing how life works, Alyx and Kim are probably the ones right in front of the door," Calvin said. "It's a reality we're going to have to face."

"What? Turning into zombies, or being turned into zombies by Alyx and Kim?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

Suddenly, the rattling on the door stopped.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman paused.

"It stopped," Calvin said, looking around.

"It has," Hobbes said, quietly. "What happened?"

"Maybe they got bored," Socrates said. "Zombies do lead very eventful lives, you know,"

Calvin slowly opened the door and peeked out.

The room was empty.

He opened the door wider and looked around.

The people were all gone.

There was a moment of silence.

"...K," Socrates said, finally. "That was weird."

"Where did they go?" Andy asked, looking around.

* * *

Meanwhile, Jack was still standing in the field, watching the tourists and rangers grouping around him, slowly swarming all around him.

He reached into the hypercube, again, and pulled out a small remote control.

He pushed a button on it.

"Level one mind filter engaged," a cool female voice said from the controller. "Please select perimeter of filter.

Jack pushed more buttons, ignoring the hundreds of people that were beginning to grab and attempting to bite him.

"Settings confirmed," The voice said. "Mind Filter primed."

"'cuse me, I need that," Jack said, pulling his left arm away from one of the rangers, and pushing the button.

_**FWOOOM!**_

A blue light shot from Jack in all directions much similar to what the Time Pauser does, and spread out across the entire park.

The people all around Jack froze, holding whatever position they were in, not blinking.

"Possible intrusion found within examined population," The voice said from the controller. "Now filtering."

Suddenly, everyone around Jack straightened up. They turned and started walking away from the robot.

"Auto-return engaged," the voice said, as Jack continued pressing buttons. "Infected population will be returned to the last remembered spot before infection. Memory modification will inhibit any memory of infected moments."

Jack yawned.

"Well, I must admit I was wrong," He said, finally. "I never could see why Frank wanted to make a mind filter in case any brain controlling diseases showed up,"

And with that, he walked off back towards Old Faithful.

* * *

Calvin and the gang slowly made their way down the stairs towards where they had been, before.

They looked around, cautiously.

Suddenly, a loud noise filled the cabin.

_SLAM!_

Calvin and the gang all jumped in terror, and prepared to run back upstairs, as they whirled around to the front door.

Alyx and Kim were standing there, grinning like a couple of lunatics, still holding their hockey sticks wearing the masks.

"They're gone!" Alyx exclaimed, excitedly.

"We were too powerful for them!" Kim added, jumping up and down with glee.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates Andy and Sherman all stared at Kim and Alyx with bewildered stares.

"What... what happened?" Calvin asked in shock.

There was a pause.

Alyx and Kim exchanged glances

"Well, we don't really know..." Kim said.

"Yeah, we kinda forgot," Alyx shrugged.

"But the important thing is that we have fended them off, and can return to the daunting task of surviving the collapse of reality!" Kim grinned.

Silence followed this.

Andy's eyes rolled skyward and Socrates began rubbing his temple.

Calvin heaved a deep sigh.

"Alyx," He said, slowly approaching the teenager. "Does it seem at all strange to you that as soon as you ran out there, you automatically forget everything and the people all disappear?"

There was a moment of silence as Kim and Alyx thought about that.

"Oh god, you're right!" Kim exclaimed in horror.

Calvin stared at them.

"...About what?" He said, slowly.

"We're really robot drones created by the zombie king to assassinate you guys when you're not looking!" Alyx cried.

Silence followed these words.

You could actually hear atoms smashing into each other in the air, as Calvin stared at Alyx and Kim with a blank expression

"Oh god," Sherman groaned.

Calvin stared at Alyx and Kim for a long moment.

"Yeah..." He said, finally. "You are. So here's what we'll do about that,"

Kim and Alyx looked intently at Calvin and listened closely.

"We're going to leave," He said, pointing at the door. "That way you will forget your purpose to kill us, and will continue your lives as if you weren't robots."

Alyx and Kim stared at Calvin for a moment.

"That... is... GENIUS!" Alyx shouted.

"That's even better than our idea!" Kim said, excitedly.

"How can you have an idea?" Socrates demanded. "You only just came up with this little revelation."

Alyx shrugged.

There was a pause.

"What was your plan?" Andy asked.

"Ignore the robot commands and hope they go away." Kim said.

Calvin hung his head.

"OK, we're leaving," He said, starting for the door. Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman followed.

"Good luck, friends!" Alyx said, waving at them. "We are honored to have met you in this crisis!"

"I'll bet you are," Calvin said, closing the door behind him.

There was a pause, as Alyx and Kim stood in the room, grinning at each other.

Suddenly, the door opened again, and in walked the owner. A tall man in a green rangers uniform.

He walked in, rubbing his head, trying to figure out what had just happened.

He jumped when he realized there were people in the cabin with him.

"What are you two doing here?" He demanded.

Alyx and Kim grinned at him.

"We're waiting out the zombie apocalypse!" Kim grinned, happily. "You?"

The ranger's eyes rolled into the back of his head.

* * *

Brainstorm peeked out of the closet, again.

There were people walking around the gift shop once again, clearly no longer under the mind lock, giving the mad scientist weird looks as they walked by.

Brainstorm cautiously made his way out of the closet and looked around.

As one can imagine, he drew a little bit of attention to himself, from the fact that he was the only one in a full body armored suit.

People stared, little kids pointed, and everyone else took pictures of him on their mobile phones.

Brainstorm paused.

"So... HA!" He shouted at last. "Now you know the mighty might of Doctor Brainstorm!"

Everyone stared at him.

"And next time, you won't be so lucky!" He announced, jabbing his finger at the crowd.

People began exchanging glances, and backing away from the lunatic.

Brainstorm blinked.

There was a moment of silence, then the mad scientist tried to slip out of the gift shop as quietly as he could.

* * *

Jack was sitting in his usual chair, reading a copy of National Geographic. He had a bored expression on his face and clearly was going through a very routine day.

Suddenly, the control panel started beeping, signaling that someone was coming down the elevator into the lab.

Jack didn't even look up as Calvin and the gang came walking inside.

Calvin walked up to the robot, and put his hands behind his back.

"Jack," He nodded.

"Calvin," Jack replied, still not looking up.

Calvin smacked his lips.

"I assume you had something to do with everyone suddenly being cured and the smoke monster disappearing?"

"I did, indeed," Jack said, turning the page.

There was a moment of silence.

"May we ask how?" Sherman asked, at last.

"Not sure if you can handle the truth," Jack said, taking a sip from his soda.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Jack, I've just been trapped in a cabin with a couple of lunatics, one of which thinks that the only thing he needs to be cool is changing one letter in his name. I'm pretty sure I can handle whatever you did to save us."

"A vacuum cleaner and mind filter." Jack replied, simply.

There was another moment of silence.

"No, really, what did you do?" Calvin asked.

Jack heaved a deep sigh.

Suddenly, the console beeped again.

"Oh, well, there's Frank," Jack said, turning the page, again. "He's gonna want to take the credit for defeating the smoke, so I'd advise you guys to leave."

"How come?" Socrates asked.

Jack shrugged.

"Thought I'd be nice to his ego, today," He said.

"Good point," Calvin said. "Well, we only came to get the MTM fixed. He's kinda important to our group,"

"Oh, well that's simple," Jack said.

He pointed at the MTM, and the tip of his finger began glowing blue as a high pitched whistling came from it.

"...an interdimensional feeder," MTM finished, as if he had never been shot. "It breaks through the void and feeds off of living energy by taking control of their minds and instilling fear in those it hasn't captured. After the world is sucked dry it heads back in and trying to break through the next world."

There was a pause as MTM scanned his surroundings.

"I just missed something, didn't I?" He said, finally.

Calvin looked at Jack's finger, impressed.

"Nifty," He nodded. "Built in sonic device. When did you get that?"

"A couple episodes ago," Jack said. "Bought it off Ebay."

Andy nodded.

Suddenly, the elevator dinged again and the doors began opening.

"Whoop, there's our cue," Calvin said. "MTM, beam us out."

MTM sighed.

"You really need to stop saying that," He said.

"Until we meet again, Mr T Robot!" Calvin said, saluting Jack. "I thank you for your assistance."

Jack gave the peace sign as Calvin and the gang vanished in a flash of blue light.

At that moment, the elevator doors opened, and Brainstorm came flying in.

"I DID IT, AGAIN, JACK!" He screamed in triumph, tearing his metal amour off, and throwing his lab coat on, again.

"That's just peachy," Jack said.

"I defeated the smoke creature and saved everyone in Yellowstone! And you wanna know what the best part is?"

"I'm not sure if I can handle it," Jack yawned.

"I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT I DID!" Brainstorm announced. "I went into some kind of third person trance and defeated them all, unconsciously. COS I'M JUST THAT FLIPPING AMAZING!"

"Uh huh," Jack said. "Couldn't have had anything to do with what I did,"

"No, because that would've been stupid," Brainstorm announced. "Now shut up while I devise my master plan to destroy all the losers I just rescued!"

Jack rolled his eyes.

Brainstorm then raced out, shouting to the lab about how cool he was.

Jack heaved a deep sigh and went back to his magazine.

"I really should consider that job offer from CNN," He said, turning the page.

**The End**


End file.
